This is the Open-Ended Jesus Lightbulb Joke. It is an open forum for witty people like you to take a crack at the world's oldest organized institution. No, not Prodigy, silly! Christianity!

Feel free to leave your conclusion to the following query:

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• NONE! He's dead!

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• It doesn't matter. Jesus being the all enlightened son of God would realize the danger of mixing walking on water with screwing in lightbulbs. (submitted by Matthew "The decendent of Judas" Latkiewicz wearing The Complete Red Leather Thriller Outfit With Black Fringes.)

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• NONE! Let the dirty-footed nutjob preach in the dark! somebody pray for us...

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• None. The semi-divine radiance created by the lightning bolt decimating the infidel spawners of this page will be sufficient.

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• Two, but they'd better be pretty small if they're gonna screw in a lightbulb. Bu-dum-bum. (submitted by Marie O'Connor wearing a banana yellow vinyl jumpsuit with soldering gunholster)

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• One. Cause I guess there is only one Jesus. Wait what was the question again? (submitted by Tyrannosauras RUMP who some how squeezed into The Complete Red Leather Thriller Outfit with black fringes. Looks better than Mikey did in it.)

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• How could bread screw in a lightbulb? (pondered "Some Lonely Ruler of the Space-Time Continuem" wearing Chanel No.5. He then proceeded to vote for his own as funniest and suggested we, "Take a bath." I guess that explains why he isn't the "Well Liked Ruler of the Space-Time Continuem")

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• Two. One to rotate the lightbulb in the socket while the other is getting tacked up on some log to save us from the sins of the world. (submitted by W.C. Fields who was drunk, just drunk.)

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• One stupid. He'd shoot the lightbulb into the socket with a spud gun. And I think the plural form of Jesus is Jesi. (submitted from an obviously higher plain of existance than the rest of us stupid peons by Commander J. Waffletruck wearing 100% Cotton.)

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• Two Jesi... but it sure takes a loooooong time for the second light bulb screwer to arrive. (submitted by the humble Mr. I.M. Reel Smart wearing shades, lipstick, and a beard. Yummy!)

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Think you're funnier? We hope somebody is. Stick it here.

By the way.............. what are you wearing?

Put yer name right here. Even if it is a really silly sounding name. We don't care.

If you actually took the time to read any of them which made you slap you knee till you bled?

 

Suggestions?

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The Open-Ended Jesus Lightbulb Joke may be such a sparkling fountain of divine communal expression that you will never want to leave, not even to go to the bathroom or to check if you got something neat in the mail. But we'd like to remind you that Jesus Illumination culture is sweeping the globe. Follow this link to explore the myriad paths to enlightenment.