observation room 11

31/12/00 5:33pm
i was starting to notice how today is just another day, except that it marks the beginning of the millenuim. or whatever the hell that's suppose to mean to any of you..my mother is very big on keeping this family together, she thinks that all families should be together for holiday type events. and if they arent, its sort of like they lost their way as a family, she says she doesnt judge them, that its their business....ha. i asked her if i could spend new yrs out at someone else's house, but nope, she would have nothing of it. then she told me that i could do whatever i want durin the day, but once it turned dark i'd have to come home. ha again! she has been making us clean up the house all day, for who??? i have no idea, she says she invited over my other aunts and uncles who live nearby, but that they declined, saying they'd spend it with their families. i know for a fact that she said that to make me feel like "oh, i shouldnt have wanted to spend new yrs away from my family, because im suppose to be a good daughter and spend it with them. besides, there are a lot of crazy people out there, and i sure dont want to get hurt.." ha ha ha. im being very sarcastic when i say all of this. my uncles and aunts will be spending it with their own families...ha ha ha. their kids are 18 or above, they wont be at home, they'll be out partying or at a friends house. uhm..where was i going with this. i durno. guess im just jealous of everyone else who gets to be out screaming in the freezing weather "happy new yrs!!" that'd be pretty neat to do. but i have a feeling i'll just be at home again...with the family. im swearing to myself today, that next year, i am going to try my hardest to not spend new years with my parents again. for some reason i feel its going to give me a feeling of complete independence...hee hee. silly yes, and maybe not. ...im listening to micheal jackson song "youre a criminal", it makes me want to eat pork chips..j/k. but i am in the mood for some. lemme go to the kitchen real quick and get me some..alright, boy that was yummy. urk. i wonder what i'll do tomorrow..maybe someone will want to go hang out. yikes!! i've got this big test on the 3rd. ha ha ha. living life is one crazy and fun filled thing to do. ohhh yeah, which reminds me. someone had filled out that survey question of mine, about "do you have any regrets in life" but...they didnt leave a name, and their comment just said "i hate the thought of life when ever i see you . . . i hate the world i live in whenever i am there . . . people need to die and leave me alone." im really wondering who left that message...so if you wrote that, would you mind telling me who you are?? thanks. eek!! its 6pm!! you know what that means, its new years in Dublin!! woohoo!! *does a little chair dance* i've got some friends in Dublin, this is the second year i've celebrated new years two times in a day. at 6pm and at 12am. hee hee. ooh, now im listening to a Green Day song "She"
She screams in silence
A sullen riot penetrating through her mind
Waiting for a sign to smash the silence with
the brick
of self control

Are you locked up in a world that's been
planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?

Scream at me until my ears bleed
I'm taking heed just for you

She's figured out all her doubts
Were someone else's point of view
Waking up this time to smash the silence with
the brick of self control

Are you locked up in a world that's been
planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without
a use?

Scream at me until my ears bleed
I'm taking heed just for you

cool song, check out the band if ya ever havent. i know that they are coming to houston sometime next month, and i'd love to go, but no money, and no one to go with. there is one band that im going to go see in February with my friend Sarah , its the band Weezer!! They are so much fun to listen to when youre down and stuff. I really like their song Suzanne, it always reminds me of the movie Mallrats. gurd movie by keven smith, he kicks arse!!! My daddy wants to take us to the movies to go see Castaway, hopefully we'll make it on time..that man loves to torture me when it comes to movies. He knows that i love to watch the previews before a movie, but noo. he always insists on being late to movies. "dad!! the movie starts at 5pm, its 4:50 right now, and it takes like 20minutes to get there!! we are going to miss the previews and maybe the beginning of the movie!!" and he'll say "now jessica, you know that movies dont start at the time they say they do. it says it starts at 5pm, but it'll really start at 5:30, because of all the previews, so we'll make it in time dont worry.." Fine, i agree that previews do take some time to watch, and maybe we wont miss any of the movie, but we will miss the previews. and 50% of the time when we get there the movie is either sold out, already started, or there arent any good seats left in the theater. Blah!! What a messed up crazy familia i do have people. Hee Hee. I lurve em to death. Neat-o, my mommy just informed me that my godparents and godsiblings are going to spend new years night with us. Yay! Contact with the outside world for once. Most of my friends i know have plans, others dont, either way, i wish every single one of you a Happy New Year. Hopefully no one will get hurt, or have a bad hangover. Expect for a rambling of tonights events tomorrow.. it'll be a cool date.. 01/01/01 awesome!! ^_^
11:57pm
its going to be new yrs, 2001 in 3 minutes!! im gonna go hug people like crazy!!!!!!!!!

01/01/01 12:03am
yay!! for a long while i was hugging everyone around the house, hee hee. i put a picture of me winking at everyone on this new yrs, its a look of "hey! happy new yrs!! and i lurve you babes!! mwa mwa!", then the other pic is of me saying to you "ha! screw you!! this new yrs is gonna suck for you!! and not for me!! ha ha ha!!" [just kidding about that by the way, i lurve everyone] i hope everyone gets home safetly if they were out and about. i wonder what i'll do tomorrow...i should have been studying my ass off the past few weeks, but i havent..maybe i'll try and do that if i end up not having any plans. my friend james called!!! i havent talked to him in forever, when i first got the phone my cousin was like "james is calling you" and she handed it to me, i was like "...james?.." thinking about my friend from Dublin and wondering why he'd call. but it was my other friend james!! he is awesome ^_^ daw, i miss the fella so much, his b-day is in 12 days. and i just remembered that the 12th is when Blue October is going to be at Fitzgeralds performing, and i'd love to go see them...blah!! hee hee, my friend jen just IMed me on AIM, she had no clue that it was new yrs already. ha ha. [no, she's not on any drugs or drunk] i wonder what time i'll go to bed tonight..or this morning rather. do i have a new yrs resolution?? probably not. i'll just say that i want to lead a good life and be happy. which is what i always try doing. so there. i've wished everyone in my house and everyone who called a happy new yrs. along with jen, sarah, and hayley who are online right now. i love you all!!!
1:53am
im so excited that i changed up my page a bit today. hee hee. ^_^ i shared the link of the beautiful fonts that i was using in the intro page, so nice. i'll be using them more often. and im sure they'll pop up on my friend's pages too. word spreads fast...but ya gots it from me here first!! hee hee, im too silly. im thinking that my song page is going to rock, i'll try and add different bands as much as i can, open you people up to the crazy shit i listen to. ha. need to be going to bed soon, take care all of you.

1:19pm
ello again there. =) i woke up pretty late again today, around 10am. my mom is sooo loud on the phone!!! her room is right next to mine, and whenever she's talking on the phone it wakes me up. i crawled out of my bed 2 times to go to her door and close it, i thought it'd help muffle her louud voice, and then bam, she runs over to my brothers room about 5 times, im not exaggerating, to scream at him "ALAN!! ITS ALMOST TIME TO GO TO WORK WAKE UP NOW OR I'LL KNOCK THIS DOOR DOWN AND DRAG YOU OUT BY YOUR HAIR!!!!" about 30 minutes later he walks out and turns the radio on loud while takinga shower...the shower is next to our room too. *sigh* so i finally just gave up, as always...and woke up. when i got online there were only like 2 people on, my friend thomas, and my friend barry. alright..now im talking to my good friend andy, i had written a poem with him, and he gave me a link to a pic of this girl named lindsey. he says we look alike..i dont agree too much with that. our glasses our similar, and dats about it. hee hee. i hope she doesnt mind if i put a link of her page ...anyhoo. she has the link to my page now, so she can use my link as much as she wants. my godfamily is here!! yay! my mommy invited them over for breakfast. yum yum yum. be back later...
6:40pm
everyone i know and everything i've seen stays in my memory. im finding it's getting easier and easier to get over things in my life. im learning to hold onto the good things that are around me, and not ask so much of everyone like i tend to do. the whole feeling i got of being alone, i dont care about that anymore, doesnt seem to be a problem. im happier now. ha ha, im weird, my friend diana put me in her wierd page. you've gotta check it out, that pic of david hasselhof, mmm baby! j/k ;) ilurve ya dee!! and also muna tuna, cosmo, jessica, marcela, you all rock!! cant wait to see my gals on Wednesday :-) oh yeah, i had this funny dream last night. that these 2 guys were dueling, and one of them got shot in the balls. ha ha ha ha!!! isnt that hilarious?? i bet the guys are like "ouch!!"
8:19pm
my cousin who was here last night invited me and my bro out to get some coffee at some neat-o place downtown, apparently theres also some sort of drumming thing going down...interesting...hee hee. i SO WANT TO EAT CHINESE FOOD!! mmmmmm my mouth is watering for some chinese!!

02/01/01 11:33am
the events of last night and this morning are like ones i've never experienced before. i finally got to stay out till the wee hours of the morning, yup, that time when you see that everyone is asleep, and some people are just getting up to go to work. left the house at around 10:30pm, went downtown to a really cool coffee place, drank a Mochiccia or something like that, i hear its suppose to wake a lot of people up, depending on how it'll react to each person though..i loaded it with about 8 spoonfulls of sugar, and some cinnamon, [not used to the nasty coffee flavor] to make it smell nice. we were having great conversation, i get up to get more sugar, i asked the old lady at the counter for some more sugar, and she gave me some advice. it went straight through me, its like she knew me and read right through me. it shocked me. i knew from then on that that night, wasnt going to be like every other night. and indeed it wasnt. after a loong time of conversation, we got hungry. went all around downtown looking for a 24hr place, finally found one like far out. called House of Pies. im just finished using the restroom there and the cellphone goes off, i answer and my moms like...
"jessica! where are you and alan and everyone?! do you have any idea what time it is?!"
"...hi...im in some restroom downtown...uh..3am?"
i handed the phone over to alan [my brother], cause i didnt want to deal w/her shit, he said..
"mom , calm down, go to bed, no we are not coming home right now, we are hungry, go to bed"
so we all commenced eating and talking, finally went home. got there like at 5 or 5:30. [my mind is a bit warped ha ha] my mom was awake waiting for us, she told my brother to go to bed cause he had to be at work at 9am, then i went to my room to sleep. riiight when i layed my ass down on my bed she walks in the room, makes me go to the kitchen with her, and tells me to wash the dishes right then and there. i agreed, knowing this was just part of my punishment...i was singing and laughing the whole time washing the dishes, it took me an hour to finish them all, i noticed she had purposely gotten a whole lot of pots and pans dirty...hee hee. after i finished doing that, i thought might as well clean the entire kitchen. so i did just that. got done, layed my ass on the couch to try and sleep, but i wasnt sleepy at all. my dad walks in just then, he is off to work. he tells me that i stayed out really late, and thats it..i tell him i love him as he walks out the door and he says he loves me too. i stayed up watching tv till i drifted off to sleep for about 2hrs. i wake up and my brother is about to head off for work, i told him how my mom made me wash the dishes, he tells me he is sorry about that, gave me a hug and i came over here to his room when he left. so...now i am typing this out, sure that my mom is probably pissed about last night, cause i had never done that before. and i dont regret a damn thing.
8:29pm
aint got nothing much to say but i cant wait to see most of my friends at school tomorrow, i miss all of you's ugly faces!! hee hee, just kidding. all of you have very pretty faces...except for that one friend..ew..they shall remain nameless....tee-hee ^_^ wish me luck on that test tomorrow, hopefully i'll even remember to go to it!
10:40pm
"life without a friend is like a bike w/out pedals" -me

03/01/01 3:09pm
first day back at school today, my schedule didnt change all too much. great seeing my friends again, such beautiful people. they think im trying to be cute all the time i think..but im not. oh well, whateva! i have to take that lame ass TASP test today, hopefully i'll get credit for it, cause my friend was saying that she heard that you have to be taking the class at the community college to get credit for it...I durno. Either way i've gotta show up just for the sake of having something to do. Cause honestly, if i dont go, i'll just bum around the house all day being online. Right? right. Uhm..i'll probably fail it, but thats alright. Im kinda hungry, and my mommy made some chicken i can smell it Mmmyummy. I'll go eat it i thinks, adios.
11:08pm
took da test, i didnt do to bad at all, especially since i didnt study and all..i plan on retaking it. lets hope that i actually do retake it. thank you all for wishing me good luck on it, and if you didnt..THEN YOURE THE REASON WHY I DIDNT DO AS WELL!!! ahem. rock on chicago!
freefalljh: stop acting like you created god
funkymonkeypimp: but i did
you can never go wrong with the wit of an irishman....i would have added more of what he said, but i dont want to really misquote him, and also, he might get pissed. hee hee, nahhh, he'd never hate me!! ^_^ tee-hee. its about uhm..11:30 and im not tired, my mommy and daddy want me to sleeeep. damnit, didnt finish my economic paper..piece of crap!! aagghh. me and my bad language..need to watch it....the end.

05/01/01 3:13pm
13, unlucky number for most, and for me..well i tend to like it. its friday my friends, and you know what that means...yes. i dont have to wake up early tomorrow morning for stupid school. the first few days back at the hell hole have been pretty okay. i durno why but i just get soooo tired by like 4th period, hee hee. uck. i need to ask my parents for like a lot of money...well its only bout 70 bucks, but still thats quite an awful lot. i hope they dont expect for me to pay them back..damn i need a job. i've been needing one for awhile, and since today i was talking about what it'd be like to move out and get an apartment...i've been thinking about it a lot more. eh. and hello!! we have only 5 months till graduation!!!!! how come i cant remember what i did the day before?? my memory is dying...i wish i had something to make me reallllly laught right now...aside from talkin to my bestestfriend, who is always a joy to talk with..And there we go. A pic of his video card, he signed it Clit O'Ross. Ha ha!! ^_^ Isnt that just the funniest thing ever?! well probably not..but it sure is funny. Ahh...now i can be happy.

07/01/01 12:06pm
cable men sure need to learn what day it is, and to show up on time. cause the other day the cable man was all telling me that it was the 7th. eh, i went to see crouching tiger hidden dragon again with some people. it was pretty as always...oh yeah we saw a teacher from our school there too!! hee hee, she teachers english..i forgot her name though. anyhoo, its weird seeing teachers outside of school, cause it reminds you that, duh, they have a life outside of school too. we hung around the shopping center at the movie theater, there was this cool place called Jillians there. i wanna go some other time, they have a freakin awesome bowling area there. i was like dancing a bit, hee hee. uhm, im getting hungry. gonna go get something to eat.
5:39pm
my friend is coming to pick me up in awhile, we is going to some book stores i think...someone else is telling me how EVERYTHING is bad for you. "name something that isnt bad for you.." crazy. hee hee. be back later...
10:58pm
yo peeps. internet lingo!! lol! daw...anyways. went out to eat and stuff w/my buddy, tried to cheer him up a bit by just ya know, hanging out with him as always. he knew this guy at our school that just recently died, he was only 16yrs old, he had a brain tumor. *sigh* its so sad when people die at a young age...why is everyone being sad lately? the majority of people i know are just getting by, very few, very very few of them say they are happy. kudos to them. [kudos bars are yummy] im doing okay. cant really complain i guess...im watching the movie Philedelphia on tv right now, its really good. ate at a vietnamese...or was it chinese..hee hee, but yeah, i ate at a restraunt today, yummy food. our waitress i think didnt like me. she came up to me and said "are you finished with your coke?" and i said "yeah" then she left, and came back with another, i said "oh im sorry, i dont need another drink" she gave me a weird look and left. so when she took my plate to put it in a to-go box..i worried. i wondered if she was one of those people who would add their own "special sauce" to my food, hee hee. "paranoia paranoia everybodys coming to get me" thats some of the lyrics that i put up for todays SONG. yoink!! uhm..maybe i'll make this last rambling on this page. and make page 12 for ramblings right?? seems okay. wow..this is a good movie. i missed the beginning of it, maybe i'll try renting it. i also need to see Dead Man Walkin, and Spinal Tap. Oh yeah, and Office Space. Hmm..what else...some other stuff, cant quite remember at this moment. im a movie junkie i think. i lurves movies!! ya want a movie partner?? well you got one here!! hee hee. urk. my parents havent gotten back home yet from the store...arg!!! yes. arg. isnt that what charlie brown said??? nooo, this movie is getting fucked up!! noooo =( making me sad.
11:56pm
blah. heres something to think about.. even though we at times hate routine in our lives, actually very often times hate it..when we see the chance to get rid of it, do you ever fear it? or embrace it instantly? i think im somewhere in the middle. cause i know that once i graduate, i wont go back to that same old routine of going to school 5 days a week and such. once i graduate my schedule will change...that kinda shocks me. im hoping i dont become extra lazy. "aaaahhhhhhhh freak out!!" ew, do you remember that song? i was just thinking about it, cause my gym teacher would always play it when we'd warm up..icky poo.. "i like callin hypocritical people, hippos" -me. hee hee. ok peeps. [ha ha] its getting late and such..eek!!