There are no garuntees in life other than that there are no garuntees in life.

There is an exception to every rule, and a rule to every exception.

Deep thoughts: the bottom of the ocean, a well, the abyss, a dark cave

People are stupid-there are no exceptions.

Finding true love is like trying to find the most beautiful flower imaginable in the middle of the worlds thickest briar patch; most people just settle for the prickly pear blossoms around the edges.

Life's not fair; but it should be and we should all do our best to make it that way.

Hope for the best; expect the worst. If you expect the best and it doesn't happen, you'll be terribly disappointed. But if you expect the worst and it doesn't happen, you'll be wonderfully surprised.

The more you know, the more you know you don't know.

Life sucks and then you die; enjoy it while you can.

Life's a joke-laugh it up.

Life is too serious to be taken seriously.

Living is the price of dying, some people get a discount.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then an action is worth a million.

Death is a once in a lifetime opportunity, even if you do believe in reincarnation.

It can always get worse, and that's a good thing, because if it can get worse then it's not at its worst right now. And if it can't get worse, well that's good too because then it can only get better.

God's greatest gifts to Man:
Life, Love, Death, and Free Will
These are also His most terrible curses.

Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill's higher.

Happiness is the meaning and purpose of Life, the whole aim and end of Human existence.

The longest journey begins with a single step.

No one can make you inferior without your consent.

If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain.

The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.

Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's 100% fatal

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.

If you care about a dream enough, make it into a reality.

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they
don't care who gets the credit.

Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bilerce.

"Can't" never could.
--Rinn Barnett

The most important thing to remember about money is that it aint important
--Rinn Barnett

Go hunting with your boys, and you wont have to go hunting for your boys.
--Claud Barnett

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a man and a dog.
-- Mark Twain

I sought for the greatness and genious of America in her commodious harbous and amble rivers, but it was not there; in her fertile lands and her boundless prairies, and it was not there. Not until I went to the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genious and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.
-- Alexis de Tocqueville

"If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin in doubts he shall end in certainties."
- Francis Bacon English philosopher (1561-1626)

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
--Robert F. Kennedy

I think therefore I am (Ergo Cogito Sum)
Descartes

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
- George Bernard Shaw

"The best mirror is an old friend."
- George Herbert
English author (1593-1633)

Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans
John Lennon

A wise man that walks in the dark with a blindfold on, is not much of a wise man
Chris Senkbeil

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
from an old African proverb

If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got
Radio Commercial, 1994

When an old man dies, a library burns down.
- African proverb

Philosophy, like Medicine, has many drugs, very few good remedies, and almost no specifics.
Sebastien-Roch-Nicholas Chamfort (1741-1794)

If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers.
Frederick II, the Great (1712-1786)

All that man can say or do that can possibly concern mankind is, in some shape or other, to tell the story of his love-to sing, and if he is fortunate and keeps alive he will be forever in love. This alone is to be alive to the extremities. It is such a pity that this divine creature should ever suffer from cold feet. A still greater pity that the coldness so often reaches to his heart.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. -- R. Geis.