Leaving again.
Another time,
Another place.
Find myself searching.
Finding myself in new places,
Experiencing new experiences
And wishing and dreaming
Of how it used to be.
New beginnings out of an end.
A new start, a new place,
A new life that I have to make.
Leaving behind the same as before.
All becoming memories
In a vast collection.
I find myself remembering,
And thinking of how it could have been.
Thinking of the past as a
New future awakes.
Thinking of the past as
The present becomes old.
Dreaming of the possibilities,
Wishing for the opportunities
That might have happened,
But were missed.
What else will I miss?
My collection of memories,
My collection of experiences,
All filling my mind.
I am so confused,
So mystified and can't
Find the purpose
Of this searching.
Contemplating the future,
While dreaming of the past,
And living in the present.
Time causing the present
All to become a memory.
Time causing that future
To approach, but never get here.
Escaping in my thoughts,
Maybe to escape a pain.
Leaving again, but why?
Why did I leave in the first place?
Those thoughts of the past,
So happy and full.
Making myself a life anew,
But now leaving again.
All to be looked back on
Again in some other time.
Losing myself in the whole end
Of past and present and future.
Finding myself hoping for the past
And receiving the present.
Just as I close my eyes and think again.
This time what is it?
Do I think of the past,
Or do I think of the present?
It is the future that I lose myself in.
Keeping all other thoughts out
That might be painful.
Entrancing myself into a deep dream
Of great things to come,
As the great things that could have happened
Slip through my fingers,
Forever lost in the realms of
The might-have-been.
Dreaming and wishing,
Wishing and dreaming,
And discovering that
I live in the past
As well as the present.
How I wish I lived in the future.
The future of my dreams.
Involving both what might have been
Of the past and then of the present.
Bringing myself to the brink
Of a great revelation,
But even that is lost in that realm
Of just outside my reach.
Leaving again,
And leaving behind more sorrow.
My how it is difficult,
To understand the feelings
As I live them.
To contemplate time and space
In an endless circle of disbelief's
Going to an old friend
To help me through this.
Just as before, the stars.
The stars becoming my closest
Confidant and helping hand.
Wishing upon them,
Dreaming upon them.
Leaving again,
And it will happen again.
I will have forgotten about the stars
Once more, and
Once more they will befriend me.
Helping me through
Another time of sorrow
In this endless and hopeless
Cycle of pain, and dread, and sorrow
Of what might-have-been
In the past, present, and future.
With my stars to help me,
And my dreams to follow.
I will find myself in
New places, with new people.
I will find myself in old places,
With old people I once knew.
All to be found in my
Wishful dreams and star strewn sky.
My friends shining bright
In my every memory.
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