This guy decided one day to clean up his home while
his wife was out. As he was searching the drawers of his wife's dresser,
he came upon a box. He opened the box and inside found three eggs and $2,000.
He was absolutely astonished!
When his wife came home he asked her about the box but she refused to explain.
He insisted, reminding his wife that they had been married for 50 years
and really shouldn't have any secrets between them.
Finally, his wife gave in and told him that she put an egg in the box every
time she was unfaithful to him. He was shocked and upset but finally came
around. Three times in 50 years wasn't so awful.
"And the $2,000?" he asked? "Well," his wife explained,
"every time I had a dozen egs in there I sold them."
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see
walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking
along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP"
and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the truck driver
was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do
a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "i'm
going to the church 5 miles down the road!" replied the priest. "No
problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy
priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down
the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively
he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the
truck with him, so at the lat minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly
missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer,
he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise
came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he
turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that
lawyer." "That's okay, my son" replied the priest. "I
got him with the door!"
Four men had played golf together for two years. At the conclusion of the
games, three of the men always showered together and then had a few drinks
at the bar. The fourth man would hurry home.
One day one of the trio asked the fourth man, "Listen, how come you
never stick around?"
The fourth man was uncomfortable. "All right, I'll tell you. I don't
stay beause I don't want to shower with you. I'm embarrassed because my
penis is very small." The other man asked, "Does it work?"
"Sure, it works very well," his friend replied.
"Well how would you like to trade it for one that looks good in the
shower??"
Charlie was telling his tale of woe to his boss. He said, "I was so
drunk last night that I don't know how I got home. Not realizing it was
my bed I slept in when I awoke, I handed the woman next to me a $20 bill."
"Is that what's making you sad?" Charlie's boss asked.
"No," said Charlie. "It was my wife I gave the $20 to,
but she gave me $10 change!"
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