The show had gone surprisingly well, and once I had got on stage all
thoughts of the earlier unpleasentness left me, I even managed to have a
good time and I got a very warm reception from the audience.
By 10pm it was all over for another year and we all headed over to the after
event party
I knew that Kevin and AJ would probably be there but seeing as I had my five
N'sync protectors with me I felt quite safe.
Actually it was strange but a couple of times Kevin had tried to talk to me
but on both occasions Chris and JC had politely told him to fuck off, in the
end Kevin must have realised that he couldn't get near me and so he left
well alone...

*************
October 10th 1998
A year later things for me were absolutely amazing, I was now truly a mega
star, I was up there along with the likes of Celine, Mariah and Whitney. I
was rich beyond my wildest dreams. I had parted company with Johnny and was
now being managed by Sylvie Jacks.
Funnily enough I had read that Backstreet Boys had also parted company with
Johnny.
I was still friends with N'Sync, In fact I had even had a little romance
along the way with JC, but alas I was still a virgin. Unfortunately JC had
never been able to make me feel the things I had felt that night with Kevin.
It had come to me in a shocking bolt one night that I might actually be in
love with Kevin. Just my luck I thought, the one guy who I fall in love with
just happens to treat me like shit and can't even stand me. Real ideal I
thought.
Anyway this particular evening I was off to the premier of Keanu Reeves new
film the Matrix, with me I was talking my manager Sylvie. She had gone off
to find our seats whilst I had headed off to the bathroom. As I headed out I
walked smack into a firm male chest, I instantly recognised the cologne, as
I looked up I was surprised to find myself gazing into Kevin's handsome
face. I noticed he looked just as shocked to see me..
"Hello Jade, we must stop meeting like this..." he smiled giving a little
laugh..
I gave a half smile and went to walk away..
Kevin's arm snaked out and grabbed my arm.."Please wait.." he said almost
pleadingly
I stopped wondering what he would say to insult me on this occasion...
"what...? " I asked pretending to be irritated, but inside my body was a
mass of physical reaction to being so close to him. God I wanted him so
badly, only he could make me feel so wonderful
I noticed for the first time that Kevin wasn't scowling at me, or that he
actually didn't seem angry at me. This is a surprise I thought.
"Jade, I- I want to apologise-I......god this is so hard for me, I don't
know where to begin..."
"what are you talking about Kevin.." I asked feeling my heart beating
rapidly as I fought an urge to touch his spiky hair..
"We were wrong...I was wrong...we should....I should never have assumed
things about you. Do you remember when you said that one day we would
realise that we had made a terrible mistake by judging you and that we would
all be consumed with guilt..?"
I nodded remembering that painful day all too well...
"well you were right Jade. JC came to see us that night of the charity show
and he set us right about you. God we all felt like such assholes. We still
do, god Jade, can you ever forgive me....us...?.."
"you really hurt me Kevin. do you know that at one point I even considered
quitting the business because of you guys, you made life unpleasant for me,
I can't just forget all that so easily, and the fact that you would imagine
that I would sleep with Johnny. God thats awful, I spent 10 years trying to
make it in this business and never once did I use my feminine charms. NOT
ONCE.."
"I know.." said Kevin bowing his head in shame.." I did some checking after
that night in AJ's hotel room. I wanted to explain to you, but your
'bodyguards' wouldn't let me near you..."
"You shouldn't have had to check up on me Kevin, you should have just
believed what I told you.." I said flatly not feeling like creating a big
scene.
"your right Jade, you are so right, I behaved like the worlds biggest prick
and I did it all because I was jealous.."
"Jealous..?" I asked curious... "what of..?"
"of Johnny..." replied Kevin honestly.. "I wanted you from the first time I
ever saw you, there was something special about you, but after Johnny told
us about you and him I suddenly got angry, I did a great job of turning
everyone else against you..."
I listened to Kevin letting his words sink in... "whoooo!!!..." I said "what
did you say about Johnny, what exactly did he say about me and him..?"
Kevin ran a hand through his thick hair "I thought you knew, I figured that,
that was why you parted company with him and found a new manager..."
"No I don't know Kevin, please enlighten me.." I said suddenly feeling sick
Kevin began.. "he said that you and he were an item and that we were to keep
away from you, he said you were his exclusive fuck..."
"Noooooooooo..." I screamed almost too loudly, a few people glanced my
way.."no, the most I ever did was kiss his cheek or gave him a quick hug.
GOD!! how could he say such a thing...SHIT!! no wonder you thought I was a
slut...DAMN!"
Kevin took my hand in his "I am sorry Jade, from he bottom of my heart,
please give me your forgiveness, I really need it..."
I looked up into Kevin's sparkling green eyes and knew I would never be able
to resist him..
"I forgive you Kevin, we all deserve a second change.."
Kevin smiled so widely that his whole face lit up, he grabbed me in a bear
hug and held me tightly "thank god.." he whispered
I could see a few camera flashes going off and I knew that we would probably
be in the morning paper. But neither of us cared. The air between us had
finally been cleared.
Kevin pulled away and grinned.. "so shall we go inside and see this
movie..?"
I nodded "yeah Sylvie is probably wondering what happened to me.."
Kevin took me inside and escorted me to my seat, he then leant down and
whispered into Sylvies ear, she just nodded and grinned before getting up
and heading down towards the front.
"where is she going..?" I asked..
"I asked her if I could sit here with you, and I gave her my seat next to
Brian.."
"Oh " I said, secretly thrilled, things were turning out wonderfully.
We were about 30 minutes into the film when Kevin's arms went around my
shoulders
I felt him drop a kiss onto my head and I sighed to myself feeling totally
contented and at peace, I let my head rest on his shoulder enjoying the
intimacy of the theatre. A short while later I sneaked a peak at Kevin and
was surprised to find him starting at me..
"what..?" I whispered..
Kevin said nothing as he leant his had towards me and gave me a soft kiss on
the lips
"I was just admiring your beauty..."
I felt my heart leap and at that moment I knew without a doubt that YES I
was in love with Kevin.
We spent the rest of the movie holding hands and sharing sweet kisses. What
a turnaround from when we had first met
By the time the house lights went up I was so full of desire and vice versa
that we instantly left, neither of us bothering to inform Syvie or Brian of
our impending absence.
Kevin had taken me back to his apartment seeing as his place was nearest, we
were barely through the door when we began pulling each others clothes off,
within seconds we were both naked and hungry for passion. Kevin scooped me
up into his arms and laid me gently onto his bed before putting his full
weight onto me. I could feel his hard penis pressing into my stomach, it
looked and felt so huge, I suddenly became a bit fearful. God was this going
to hurt, I was finally about to lose my virginity, I couldn't believe it.
Kevin's mouth closed around my firm breasts and I moaned with pleasure as he
began licking and sucking on the hardening flesh, my entire body was one
mass of surging tingles, I was longing to release these pent up feelings. I
may have been a virgin but I had masturbated so I knew all about how
wonderful orgasms were, but the way Kevin was making me feel was like
nothing I had ever experienced, it was totally new and different feelings.
I ran my hands down the muscles of Kevin's shoulders, grazing my nails
gently across the firm skin, I felt him shudder from my touch, I slid my
hand down and then rested it on his hard buttocks, giving it a squeeze with
my hands, I felt his penis twitch against me..
Kevin parted my legs with his knees and slipped a hand between my legs, just knowing that he was actually touching my vagina almost sent me spiralling
into an uncontrollable orgasm.
"Oh kevin..." I groaned biting my lip as his fingers teased my clit rubbing
and lightly pinching my pleasure spot "this is incredible..."
Kevin's mouth captured my lips kissing me long and deep..." touch me baby.."
he moaned against my mouth..
I moved my hand down and then found what I was looking for, his long thick
penis, it felt strange to have it in my hand, it was the first time I had
seen and touched one, it felt so hot and hard, I longed to feel it inside of
me..
I wasn't sure what to do, so I just rubbed it up and down in my palm, Kevin
obviously liked what I was doing because he groaned quite a bit..
"Oh baby your touch is delicious, I don't think I can wait much longer...?"
"me either.." I replied..
Kevin's fingers spread apart my labia's and he inserted a finger to check if
I was moist enough..
"damn you are tight.." he observed
"I have great muscle control..." I lied, I didn't want him to know he was
going to be my first.
Kevin took his penis into his hand and then guided it to my entrance, I
could feel the damp head resting, just ready to break my cherry.
I hooked my legs around Kevin's waist making sure I was as open as possible
and then he began.
I could feel the stretching and burning as the tip of his penis slowly
started to press into me, I closed my eyes and bit my lip trying not to
scream out in pain..
"am I hurting you..?" Kevin asked concerned..
"No I'm fine.." I smiled.. "please continue.."
Kevin laid another sweet kiss on my lips and then thrust his hips hard
sending his penis slamming into me, the pain took my breath away as my hymen
was ripped away with the force of Kevin's penis, but once I felt his long
fat cock buried deep inside of me, all of the pain was replaced with an
intoxicating pleasure.
Kevin's lips melted against mine and we thrust our tongues into each others
mouths almost matching Kevin's thrusts into me. Seconds later I could feel
my walls clenching powerfully around Kevin's penis as I had such a violent
orgasm I thought I might pass out.
Kevin's release followed seconds behind and I felt his hot semen spurting
deep into my womb. Kevin collapsed on top of me and we both lay there joined
together for a good ten minutes basking in the afterglow.
"Jade, honey.." said Kevin breaking the silence...
"yes...Kevin..." I smiled still not believing I wasn't a virgin anymore and
better yet I had lost it to someone very special to me..
"you were a virgin weren't you..?"
I gave a shy smile.. "yes..."
"Oh baby, I can't believe you were a virgin, and to think I accused you of
all those things..I.."
"shhh..." I sad putting my fingers to his lips..."forget it, all that
matters now is that all that nonsense is over with.."
Kevin gave a little smile but I could tell that he was dreadfully ashamed of
our past relationship.
"I didn't hurt you too much did I..?" asked Kevin as he slipped his soft
penis out of me
I could see tinges of blood on it..
"No Kevin, it was wonderful, thank you for an incredible experience...I
lov..."
I stopped short, I had almost confessed to Kevin that I loved him, but I
realised it would be too soon..
Kevin picked up on my words.."you lov..????"
"I loved it..." I said saving my ass...
"I'm glad.." he said kissing my cheek.. "
By the time I left Kevin's place the next morning we had made love a good
six times..
I was the happiest I had ever been...

January 31st 1999
By now myself and Kevin were a serious item, I had admitted my love for him
and he had confessed that he was in love with me, I had recently moved in
with him and the arrangement was perfect as we hated to be apart from each
other.
On the career front, I was as big as ever and The Backstreet Boys still
ruled the world.
Today I was going to be meeting up wit my old friends N'Sync, Kevin wasn't
keen on the idea, especially since he had found out about my past little
romance with JC, it didn't matter to Kevin that I had given him my
virginity, and that myself and JC had merely kissed..
Why do you need to see them...?" whined Kevin as I brushed my hair in the
bedroom
"Because they were good friends to me, they were there for me when you....."
I stopped not wanting to drag up the past..
"when What..?" Kevin yelled "when I was scum and treated you like
crap...geez I told you I was sorry about that, how many more times do you
want me to say it..?"
"the point is Kevin, they are decent people and they are my friends, now I
am sorry you dont approve but you are just going to have to accept it..."
I kissed his cheek and then headed towards the door...
Kevin grabbed my arm hard yanking me back.. "ow!, " I yelped as his fingers
dug into my skin making me feel bruised...
"whats the matter baby..? you think the BSB are losing it and that N'Sync
are the bigger band, maybe you would look better draped on JC's arm, maybe
it would look better for you.." he sneered..
I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of Kevin's mouth, where
was this all coming from, I thought we had solved all this months ago..
"what the fuck!!.." I yelled "are you insane...I can't believe you would
even think such a thing.."
Kevin stared at me with cool eyes.. "let me tell you this baby, if you walk
out that door and go to see those N Sync fucks, then you and me are over,
have you got that..?"
I stared at Kevin shocked.." your serious aren't you..?" I said..
"Deadly.." replied Kevin...
"fine.." I said walking towards the door.." goodbye Kevin..."
As I left and walked out of Kevin's life I felt my heart break in two, I had
lost the love of my life.