Let us into your life... and we'll show you how strange we really are: -------------------- THE RELLIES THE GAMES ROY, H.G. & FATSO THE PUBS OTHER STUFF HOME, JAMES Comments or Hate Mail

"The Dream" was one of the best things about the Sydney Games. It was a nightly show that aired at 11pm in Sydney every night of the Olympics. It was done in a quasi-Leno/Letterman style or maybe more like Talk Soup. The two hosts, Roy and H.G. sat behind a desk interviewing athletes, discussing the days events and showing some of the stranger "events" of the games. All the while, the intention was to draw a laugh And usually they did. The show definitely got an A for delivering the laughs and, at times, semi-serious and timely commentary. The other star of the show was the stuffed version of our little friend to the left, Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat - the only wombat known to have been decked out in sneakers. Fatso was the mascot of the show but eventually became the unofficial mascot of the entire Games. He sat on the desk for most of the show with his big fat arse facing towards the audience. Many of the Australian athletes would take one of the two Fatso dolls with them up to the medal podium when they won medals. Plus, Fatso was all over the show for two hours a night. This made the AOC (Aussie Olympic Committee) none too pleased since they invested millions of dollars in developing their own mascots that weren't doing too well - as in sales of dolls, plush toys, etc. It got to the point where Roy and H.G. were giving away Fatso pins to all of their guests and even foreign athletes, mostly Americans, were clamoring for photos to be taken with his Royal Fatness, or the "Battler's Prince" as he was often called as he represented all the lazy slobs who could never dream of performing the feats of athletic greatness being carried out at the Games. Roy and H.G. were at their best when doing their voice-over commentary of some of the events, espcially those that weren't seen much during the day like weightlifting, gymnastics and some of the lesser swimmers such as Eric the Eel from Equitorial Guinea. We saw at least the beginning of nearly every show. Usually it was Rob staying up til the bitter end each night, though some of us toughed it out some nights too. One of the classic references was the line about weightlifters "stepping in the bird poo" when they stepped into the tray that has the chalk in it off to the side of the stage. Among the things they made regular targets of included the AOC, the U.S. men's basketballers, NBC and it's next day delayed coverage of the Games, French sprinter and schizo Marie Jose-Perec and anything having to do with New Zealand, especially the Kiwi medal count. This was referenced by the big "0" scribbled on a sheet every night until they finally won a medal on about the 8th or 9th day. It seems that Kiwi-bashing in Australia is on a par with Canadian-bashing in the U.S. We don't hate our neighbours, we just treat them like the proverbial "red headed step child". One of the high points came in the aftermath of the AOC mascots vs. Fatso controversy. Roy and H.G. took Fatso to the Olympic diving venue and had a diving competition from the 10 metre platform between the stuffed animals. The routine included faux-serious commentary about how "clean that dive was" and "Oh! He nailed that entry." Naturally, the official mascots performed poorly while an obviously weighted down Fatso plunged right in sinking straight to the bottom of the pool. If these tapes of "The Dream" can be found, a hefty ransom would be paid by your narrator. The Dream lives on!

Roy Slaven and H.G. Nelson. The hosts of "The Dream". - i7 Network, 2000