THE ABSELOUTE WORST THINGS TO SAY TO A COP!

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Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things better left unsaid:

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• Hey, you must've been doing' at least 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!
  
  
• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  
  
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
  
  
• Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
  
  
• Hi Officer, Do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license?
  
  
• You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
  
  
• "Bad Cop! No Donut!"
  
  
• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
  
  
• You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
  
  
• "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"
  
  
• Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?
  
  
• I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
  
  
• So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
  
  
• Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
  
  
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
  
  
• So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
  
  
• Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
  
  
• When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder.
  
  
• Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
  
  
• Those sirens are hurting my ears. Turn them off or I am not speaking to you.
  
  
• So what if I was speeding? Whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?
  
  
• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
  
  
• Did you happen to attend the "Barney Fife" Police Academy?
  
  
• Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
  
  
• What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
  
  
• Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
  
  
• Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
  
  
• Hey, man, you want a hit?
  
  
• Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut
  
  
• Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?
  
  
• When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

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