FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions

The following are questions I have been asked frequently and the responses I have provided. The responses represent my personal views and should not be viewed as how all LGs might respond when similarly prompted.

What are the groupings of CDs?
Adult Crossdressers (CDs, or as LGs affectionally call them, BGs -- Big Girls), Adult Babies (ABs), Sissy Boys (SBs), and Adult Little Girls (LGs). There are, no doubt, additional subgroups, but these are the major groupings.

What are the differences between these groups?
Adult CDs usually dress in clothing appropriate to their physical age. This is the largest group of CDs and, if someone says "crossdresser" this is the group to which they are usually referring.

Adult Babies dress as infants, in diapers, etc. They either have or are seeking a "mommy" who will care for and dress them. Most of the ABs I have met, mostly through chat, have little desire to interact with others once their needs are met. Several ABs have described their experience as being sexual in nature.

Sissy Boys dress as little girls, however, their choice in clothing style seems to gravitate toward an exaggerated style, usually more risque than an LG would find appropriate for a given situation, often revealing underwear in public or in photographs. There is a thread running through the SB community of forced dressing or domination which I find deeply offensive. It is not uncommon to hear SBs comment on how humiliating it was to be forced by their mommy to wear thus and so in public. This humiliation is part of the experience. Additionally, SBs will often be consumed with interest in the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of girls, leading me to believe that being an SB is a sexual phenomenon at its core.

LGs, on the other hand, appear to want to avoid humiliation and want to be accepted as themselves. Characteristic of this is their choice of more modest clothing than that of SBs and an avoidance of emphasis on sexuality. Instead, the emphasis is much more on dressing and acting in the manner of a young girl of the age and era which they have chosen for themselves.

Do LGs try to pass?
Actually one of the most significant differences between BGs and LGs is the issue of "passing." LGs are, except in extremely rare circumstances, incapable of passing as real little girls (RLGs). A blind man in a coal bin at midnight on a moonless night would instantly recognize that a 6' 200-pound individual is not an RLG. For this reason, and probably others, LGs need not even bother with passing.

I like to wear [whatever] -- am I an LG?
Not necessarily so, although you may be... Being an LG is usually more than a simple clothes fetish. LGs appear to take delight in the simple and innocent pleasures of childhood and the clothing is a useful and, to some, a mandatory part of the experience.

All LGs love frilly dresses, right?
This is one of the most common mistaken assumptions the non-LG community makes about LGs. While many LGs are fond of frilly dresses and the like, this is not a distinguishing characteristic of LGs.

One of the LGs on LG Chat waggishly suggested a 1-10 frilliness scale on which to measure LGs, where 1 means an almost complete lack of frills and a 10 means "frilled to the max." On that scale, I am somewhere between 3 and 4. I know of several other LGs who are substantially less frilly than me, as well as a number who would peg the frill-meter with a solid 10.

What would a non-frilly LG wear?
This varies as does the personality of the LG, but it might include, non-frilly dresses, school, cheer, or girl scout/Brownie uniforms, casual clothes, etc. There are even non-frilly versions of communion and flowergirl dresses.

Why are there no pictures of you on this site?
I am at a loss to understand why this question continues to come up, yet I get asked this one question more often than any other. This site is about fashion, the styles I love and I choose to present these styles in the form presented to me, modeled by professionals of the size for which they were first produced.

What activities do LGs participate in?
Chat, reading, self-examination, dressing up, shopping, etc. A description of the activities scheduled for camp is included in the Camp FAQ.

Why haven't you updated this site recently?
Updating my site is a laborious process and, since I do not get paid to do so, a portion of my precious free time must be set aside to modify and update the site. Updating my site is not the most important activity in my life and, thus, it slips out.

Why will you not add a link to my site?
About once a month, I am asked to add a link from this site to another. Of late, many of these requests are from sites catering to ABs or SBs.. I honestly do not recall a BG making such a request. To provide a link to another site means, in my mind, that I am comfortable with what is depicted on the other site and honestly believe that LGs and their spooses/friends visiting my site would be interested in the material on the sites I link to. Furthermore, I made a commitment to Precious that both she and her children would be able to visit my site and those to which I link without fear of coming across material they might find offensive. Call me a prude or just hypersensitive, but if your site contains LHCMPA-type pictures or advocates coercive behavior the likelihood of me granting a link is vanishingly small.

Do you really wear the clothes you describe on this site?
Yes, both at home and at camp. On weekends, when I am out and about, I dress more androgynously. I do, however, try to wear lace-trimmed anklets whenever possible.

Aren't you (and most LGs) really gay?
No, and this question demonstrates a lack of understanding of the fundamental difference between sex and gender.

Crossdressing is related to gender, not sex. Society seems to have difficulty seeing that these are separate aspects of the individual. Sex is what is between the person's legs and whether or not they have a Y chromosome. Sexual preference is the person's choice of a partner based on the sex of the other person.

Gender, on the other hand, is a psychological phenomena and defines how the person chooses to present themself to society. Gender is not explicitly tied to sex nor is it tied to sexual preference. In fact, CDs are no more likely to be gay or bisexual than are males in the general population. This aspect has been investigated extensively.

Where sex is divided neatly into male and female, gender has no such neat division. It runs along a continuum from masculine to feminine. There are masculine males as well as masculine females. Likewise, there are feminine males and feminine females. Fredric Chopin and George Sand are poster people for how sex and gender are independent. He was an extremely feminine male and she (George) was a very masculine female, yet their relationship was clearly heterosexual.

How much of "His Story" is true?
To the best of my ability, I have been as honest as possible. While it is true that we all see a different world as wel look back, I would like to think that time has softened the hurt and permits me to see things as they actually occurred. Nonetheless the others with whom I have interacted may have a slightly different perspective on the issues and events chronicled in the story. Of necessity, some parts were cut, but the fundamental details remain.

Why haven't you updated "His Story" recently?
Actually, I have been waiting for the questions at the end of the last section to be answered before I write the next. I have hope that answers will be forthcoming.

Why are there no stories of mothers, aunts, etc., dressing up their sons?
I was actually amazed this question was asked and just blown away that it gets asked again and again by different people. The first reason why stories of this nature are not to be found here is that this is not a "fiction" site; what is posted here is, to the best of my knowledge, true and correct. Secondly, I am uninterested in stories of this type in the first place and have reservations about recommending sites which do publish such stories.

Thirdly and most importantly, I believe that the actions in such stories are coercive, despite the arguments of those who would dearly love to be participants in the stories. I can find no redeeming virtue in coercion, regardless of whether it is welcomed by the participants. In my view, LGs are LGs precisely because they choose to dress themselves and act as LGs. To require being dressed or forced to dress by another is behavior more appropriate to and characteristic of sissy boys rather than LGs.

Isn't being an LG more difficult than being a CD?
This is a most interesting question, for I believe that it is easier to be an LG than to be a BG. BGs are under constant pressure to appear as "female" and this carries with it the necessity to provide the illusion of female secondary sex characteristics. Also, BGs tend to feel constrained in what they wear so that they may blend in.

Neither of these criteria apply to LGs, who are free to dress as they please, confident that since there is no likelihood that a 6' 200-lbs male could be expected to pass as a real little girl (RLG). Hence, LGs are free to express their individuality, dressing in the styles they find most attractive and expressive of their inner self.

But isn't being an LG more difficult on one's spouse than being a BG CD?
I have pondered this question and read just about everything I could lay my hands on to come up with an answer. I believe that the answer is "No, being an LG is actually easier on the spouse than is being a BG." This may seem counter-intuitive, but there is logic to my reasoning.

Consider a wedding... At the wedding, the bridesmaids all dress less flashy than the bride, ostensibly to keep the groom's attention focused on the bride. Some brides go to great lengths to dress the bridesmaids as unappealing as possible, causing a great amount of anguish for the bridesmaids. Nonetheless, the flowergirl is permitted, and in some cases encouraged, to outdress the bride as she is not seen as competition for the groom's attention.

By and large (and this is a sweeping generalization), most GG women feel that the need to compete is a pre-wedding exercise and once they are married, they should be permitted to slack off to some degree. Having a husband who might actually look more attractive as a female than her is hugely disconcerting and more than a bit humbling. Even if it is only one aspect of the entire CD which is more attractive, this one-upmanship is bound to engender some hostility.

Since LGs do not normally attempt to look like adult women, the accoutrementia adopted by BGs (breast forms, hip pads, high heels, slinky outfits, adult-style makeup) are not employed. LGs do not appear as "women" and thus do not compete with women. This does not mean that there are not other issues which can be divisive in a marriage, but the issue of competition as to who looks more like a woman is absent.

Why are there not LG women?
I discussed at length with Precious (see His Story) and although she indicated an interest in attending LG Camp, she did not feel that she would want to re-experience her childhood.

While researching some of the issues, I read The Girl Within, by Emily Hancock. In the course of interviews with women about their lives, one woman mentioned that there was a time in her youth when she felt as though she was totally in control of her life. This was not "real" control, for she was only eight or nine-years old, but the perception by her than she could do anything she wanted, become whoever she wanted and enter any career.

This thought was so intriguing to Ms. Hancock that she re-interviewed each of her subjects again and discovered that this was a common thread. Each of the women, upon probing, acknowledged the same feeling. In one case, it was something like, "This is the best it will ever be and from this day forward it is downhill..." Furthermore, each of them was convinced that they could not recreate that time as it was innocence born of naivet�.

My premise is that this feeling is what LGs desire, in addition to the beautiful clothing, and this sense of innocent empowerment is so heady, so refreshing and so centering that it becomes the focus. This does not happen immediately, nor does it happen for all, but for those who embrace it, the comfort it produces is the elixir itself.

Isn't being an LG a form of pedophilia?
Sarah Jayne offered a direct response to this question which would describe most, if not all, of the LGs I have met at Camp, "LGs are interested in the packaging, not the contents of the package." I explained to my spoose, "A pedophile sees a young girl in a cute outfit and wonders what she would look like without the outfit. An LG sees the same little girl in the same outfit and wonders, 'Where can I get that outfit in my size?'"

In short, the question indicates a confusion between gender and sexual preference.

Where can I buy [whatever] in my size?
Fashion is a cyclical phenomena, and that which was in fashion last year will probably not be available in stores this year. On the other hand, that which was in fashion years ago might suddenly reappear, either looking like the original or, more likely, changed ever so slightly so as to appear new.

During those times when the styles desired by an LG is not in fashion or not available in her size, dressmakers are a wonderful resource. Most newly emerging are terrified by the thought of going to visit a dressmaker to commision the making of the outfits they desire. I understand this, as I was in exactly the same boat. However, I learned that the overwhelming majority of dressmakers are in business to make money and they really do not care who the customer is or their size or age. Larger size = more fabric and more time sewing, hence the price i commensurately higher.

I have found several dressmakers more than willing to make the most delightful outfits for me, from communion and birthday dresses to skorts (pop skirts) and gymsuits. They do require a clear idea of what you want before they start. Once place to start looking is your local bridal store. Most such stores are accustomed to having to either modify or start from scratch to make flowergirl dresses. Visit the store, examine what they have for sale and, if you find the styles you like, ask if they can make you one in your size.

Little Debbie walked into a school uniform store and asked what they had in her size. For most newly emerging LGs, that is just too bold a step, however, I have found that ordering over the web is a bit more impersonal and thus more comfortable. I list on my fashion pages web sources for certain styles, sources I have used myself.

How do I contact a dressmaker?
Either visit your local bridal store, look in the Yellow Pages under dressmakers or follow the recommendations of other LGs you may encounter. By and large, LGs are more than happy to recommend places from which you might find LG-style clothing in your size.

A warning, though: There are a number of individual, both on the Web and off, who prey upon the fear most emerging LGs have and cater to that market. The clothing made by them is often of inferior quality and grossly inflated price. Furthermore, the styles offered are often nothing more than styles cut for adult females, with a distint waist, to which they have added some frou-frou mildly reminiscent of what an RLG might wear. The difference between these monstrosities and what the British would call a "proper" LG outfit is easily distinguished. Ask yourself, "Would a real little girl wear this outfit if it were created in her size?"

Aren't you embarrassed to be associated with this site?
Lord, no... I am quite proud of what I have done here... That I do not use my given name here is related to my desire to continue to provide for the financial care of my spoose and our dogs. Were I to win the Lottery and become a bazillionaire, I would drop the anonymity in a heartbeat. There would no longer be a job to protect and, since I am not doing anything illegal, immoral or even fattening, there would be nothing to worry about. In the meantime, however, since people I work with will probably not take the time to read the information on this site before they come to their own, usually mistaken, conclusions about LGs, I shall continue to remain mostly anonymous.

How did you choose your name?
Choosing a name is a very personal issue. Some people feel that another name is not necessary, while others feel that they have a hidden name they must discover. One characteristic of LGs appears to be that once they have selected their name, they tend to stick with it as it becomes (or is) an integral portion of who they are.

I bought one of those 20,000 Names for Baby books and went through it, carefully selecting the names which initially appealed to me. I created a list which I then read through each day for a week or so, crossing off any name that lost its appeal. When the list was down to around 10, I started saying the names out loud several times each day, once again crossing off those which did not feel like "me." After this, I was left with three or four names and I took time to go outside, in a fairly isolated area, and shout the names at the top of my lungs. Several times through this exercise and I was left with one name: Taffy.

When I went looking for an email account, I stumbled upon iName.com, the free email service. They offered email accounts in a large number of domains, including cheerful.com. I was fortunate to be able to register my account as taffy@cheerful.com and Taffy Cheerful was locked in as my name. By the way, I really, really, really do like my name.

Is it possible to meet you in person?
Sure. I have attended each of the twice-yearly camps at Rainbow Mountain and intend to do so in the future. I am on the road 50 weeks per year in my job and I just might be in your town. If we are in the same town, and we have discussed meeting in LG Chat, then we might meet at a mall to go shopping or have dinner. If you are thinking of anything else, then you just do not understand LGs and the privacy we each cherish.

Why don't you include [whatever] on this site?
Several times a month I am asked this question, with the subject usually being some article of clothing or hair style. The answer is, quite simply, unless it is in one of the pages I have yet to complete, I just am not enamored of that style and will not spend my time adding it to the site. No apologies... It is a matter of personal style; live with it...

There is one category which is a little touchy and has therefore given me pause, girls lingerie. While I would like to add this category and believe the site is incomplete without addressing this area of fashion, the risk that this site will end up being considered as some form of soft-core pornography (which it explicitly is not) is just too great. Once that occurs, the site would be unavailable to some of those who would most benefit from its content.

Is "camp" real or just fiction?
Camp is very real indeed. My accounts of camp are based on my experiences and are, to the best of my ability, not exaggerated or embellished.

One of the first stories I read about LGs was Tommy's "The Birth of a Kitten." Later I learned that the first part of the story is true, but from the point where the protagonist of the story is invited to a party on, the store is fiction. Later on, the publisher of the story attempted to create Kitten Clubs with extremely mixed results.

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Last Update: 07/15/2002
Web Author: Taffy@Cheerful.Com
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