Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out

American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer. The Englishman's job is to second the American.
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(2) A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
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(3) There was a Sardarji who was having financial troubles so he decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. He went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave Rs.1,00,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, Satpal Singh.

He pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, he returned to the park to find Rs.1,00,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. Also inside the bag was the following note...

Here is your money. I cannot believe that one sardarji would do this to another!
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(4) A man was walking down a beach and saw a bottle floating in the surf.He thought to himself, "Oh, message in a bottle."

He took out the cork and out popped a genie. The genie said, "Thank you for releasing me. Now you may have 3 wishes-however, I'm a special genie. I love my mother-in-law, so anything you wish for, your mother-in-law will receive double."

The man first asked for a million dollar house on the beach. Poof! A gorgeous house appeared. Just then-POOF!! -- a house twice as big appeared next door and his mother-in-law was waving at him from the window.

He hurried inside to avoid her. As he was admiring his new house, he turned to the genie and said, "For my second wish, put $10 million on that table."

Poof! There was so much money, it was falling off the table. Then POOF!! Next door,the money was flying out the windows and his mother-in-law got $20 million.

He was getting frustrated by this time and turned to the genie, "OK, let me get this straight. Whatever I wish for, my mother-in-law gets double."

The genie said, "Yes, I'm the mother-in-law genie, and that's the way it works."

After scratching his head and thinking a bit, he suddenly turns to the genie and says, "OK, for my third wish,... beat me half to death!"
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(5) Kimo is a bus driver for the Honolulu Transit Company. One day Kimo is headed to work on his bus route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road.
The van driver works for the Honolulu Zoo. He pleads with Kimo to do him a favor. He offers a $100 bill to Kimo to help him deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo, because they needed to be there within the hour. Agreeing, Kimo proceeds to load two dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards the zoo.

An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he's driving down the road, he see's Kimo and the busload of penguins heading in the opposite direction.
He turns his van around and chases in pursuit. He finally catches up to the bus and pulls over Kimo on the side of the road. In an irate voice he asks,

"Hey, Kimo. I thought I gave you a $100 dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for me?"
"Calm down," Kimo says. "I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies!"
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(6) I'm Fine

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?"

Farmer Joe continued, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman that he was just fine. Now, several months after the accident,he is suing my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

But the judge was interested in Farmer Joe's story and said to the lawyer,

"I'd like to hear what he has to say about his mule Bessie."

Joe thanked the judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.

He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"
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(7) A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years.

Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?"