How to Photograph an Iguana

Remove film from box and load camera
Choose a suitable background and setting (branch, large plant) for photo
Mount camera on tripod and focus
Place iguana on setting and return to camera
Focus with one hand and fend off cat with other hand
Crawl after iguana on knees while fending off cat
Pull reluctant iguana from under the cabinet
Place iguana on setting once again
Apply peroxide to your scratched forearms
Grab cat and lock in one room
Run towards setting in time to grab iguana and say "No, no, not there!"
Rinse iguana in bath tub and wipe urates that have dribbled all over setting and floor
Replace iguana on setting and return to camera
Get iguana's attention by waving a leaf over your head
Pull iguana off camera and check lens for damage
Chase after iguana across the room
Pull iguana off venetians, off your shirt then off your head
Place iguana back in habitat
Change torn shirt and pick up overturned objects
Fix a strong drink
Sit back in couch and resolve to photograph iguana first thing in the morning, *before* iguana has a chance to warm up

Questions ?... Comments ?... Do not hesitate to send me mail. :-)