I had an experience several months ago,
August 1998, that just has to be the most severe spiritual conflict
of my life, thus far.
I am overweight and desired to loose a lot
of excess pounds. Several times in my life, I have successfully
fasted for as much as ninety days with good results. Thus, when
I heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit to gain control of my
eating habits, I decided fasting would be appropriate.
Notice, the repetitive use of “I”
in the proceeding paragraph. I made the mistake of not counseling
with the Lord regarding the method of weight loss but took it
upon myself to make this decision. How often we fail to consult
the Lord but think ourselves competent to make decisions? Life
would be of greater benefit to ourselves and others should we
spend more time in prayer seeking Christ’s guidance.
Things went fine for the first five days.
Each day, I asked the Lord’s blessing upon the fast and received
his grace which illustrates another facet about living the Christian
faith: Christ often blesses even if we neglect to seek His advise.
The greatest time of temptation over the
sin of appetite, for me, at least, is in the evening, especially
the late evening. When about eight years old, my sister and I
were naughty. I have no idea what we did to offend our parents,
but we remember being sent to bed about 6:00 P.M. in the summer
without supper. The early bedtime wasn’t so bad, it didn’t
have any lasting effects upon us even though we thought we would
suffer irreparable damage, but missing supper did have lasting
consequences.
How little parents realize the psychological
damage their thoughtless actions can have on their children. I
am not protesting against just punishment of children but all
children have a right to expect that their parents will serve
nourishing and timely meals. Deprivation of food should never
be used as punishment nor should it be used as reward. Following
the Biblical injunction of spanking your children is infinitely
better then depriving them of love and food. However, this was
done, so lets move on to the summer of 1998.
I couldn’t sleep which is a common
physiological reaction to self-induced food deprivation, at least
in myself. It is a common fallacy that hunger continues during
the entire period of food deprivation. If the fasting is voluntary,
and the health is good, hunger pangs cease after the third day.
These reactions I understood and was prepared for but I wasn’t
prepared for the intensity of Satan’s attacks. They were
horrific.
I’ve experienced appetite temptations
before but this time they were almost unbearable. Christ promised
that he would not allow any temptation to beset us that we were
not able to endure but with the temptation he will make a way
of escape, which way through is faith in Him. I got up from bed,
left the room lights off, and began to pray as the temptations
were pressed into my mind, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed.
When tempted to do wrong or when Satan,
like a flood, comes upon us unexpectedly, it is because he fears
and trembles that he may loose the contest. I wanted to loose
weight, he wanted me to remain fat.
Christ is easy of approach and I knew he
sustained me that evening. Though the temptations were severe,
I finally fell asleep confident in the victory He gave me over
the Appetite Devil.
If I stopped at this point in the narrative,
you might believe I was successful and now enjoy normal weight,
but this story has a sad sequel.
The food wars, I have just described, occurred
two days before we moved from Frankfort, Michigan to our present,
1998, home near Beulah. Moving isn’t normally a difficult
time for me as I am well organized but this time, I had enlisted
the aid of two extremely managerial men who squabbled among themselves
and demanded that I adhere to their plans irrespective of my better
judgment.
Under the stress of the situation, attempting
to placate them while getting our possessions moved, and, at the
same time, handling a landlady who was slow at vacating her house,
I experienced the return of intense hunger pains. Under the onslaught
of the combination of these circumstances, I lost my hold on the
Lord and gave into the temptation.
This answer to prayer does not have a happy
ending. I failed under temptation, but God did not fail me. The
landlady finally left, our possessions were deposited in the front
room of the house, the two managerial men managed to leave without
doing any further damage, and I ate and ate and ate until I was
so stuffed I almost got sick.
Controlling the appetite is the most difficult
temptation to overcome as it was the sin upon which Adam and Sin
fell. Through the wrong use of the appetite, sin entered into
the world. Here lies the explanation for Christ’s forty days
fast in the wilderness immediately after His baptism. He must
begin the work of reclamation where the fall commenced. He overcame
a far greater weight of temptation then I will ever be called
upon to endure for it nearly cost him his life and the plan of
salvation. Should He have failed the test of appetite, He could
not have been our Savior and Calvary would not now hold for us
the promise of salvation.
But Christ triumphed, and, I believe, so
I shall triumph also through His victory. While I failed, Christ
never failed. For this, I can say--praise the Lord!