December 31, 1996
Dear Brady:
Are you happy? No, I don’t mean are you satisfied when you watch a good video movie, or eat your favorite food, or sleep late on a school day. I mean are you really happy, even when things don’t go right?
You are no longer a boy but are becoming a man. Soon you will
have a family of your own, you already have a girlfriend. What
type of man do you want to become? Have you ever given any thought
to this question?
You have the opportunity to choose what type of man, husband,
or father you want to become. You can choose to be self-centered,
everything for me and nothing for you, or you can choose to be
generous, giving the best to others, including your parents, girlfriend,
or future wife. What type of man will you choose? Nobody likes
a stingy, selfish, egocentric man. If this is the type of person
you choose to become, you won’t be happy and no one will
be happy to live with you. But there is a better way.
Over your life time, you have been given almost everything you
could desire, now it is time to appreciate what you have received
and to give to others as they have given to you. A person, who
is never generous is an unhappy person. If you are disconsolate
most of the time, it is because you have never learned to give
of yourself to others. You can never be content until you learn
the first principal of joy which is generosity. Just as it makes
your parents cheerful to give to you, so it will make you happy
to give to others. As you impart to then you receive a blessing.
If you have wondered why you are miserable, this is the reason.
You have a nice girlfriend. To learn how to be cheerful, you might
start by giving her something nice from the money that you earn.
When you earn the money that you then use to buy her perfume,
or dusting powder, or ear rings, she is delighted and that happiness
spills onto you and you are blessed. Instead of using your next
paycheck exclusively on yourself, why don’t you try this
idea and see what happens? But ask her what she wants, don’t
buy something that you think she might want. It is better to purchase
that which she appreciates then something she doesn’t want.
This may seem a little awkward but with practice the habit of
giving becomes easier.
Don’t think of this as a waste of money. Was it a waste of
money when your parents give you that special gift that you wanted?
I don’t think so. Then it is not a waste of money for you
to give your girlfriend something that makes her happy.
May the Lord bless you, Brady. Your brother in Christ.
Allen A. Benson