December 6,1996
Dear Br. Carl:
The Apostle Paul was an astute observer of human behavior as well as Divinely inspired. He wrote, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a Child: but when I became a man I put away childish things.”
Little children are cute in their play and antics but a man or
woman, who has failed to mature and continues to act like a little
child, is no longer cute or amusing. ( I am not referring to Alice,
she has a different problem. Her disability, which prevents her
from maturing mentally, as well as physically, is a handicap,
not a chosen behavior pattern.)
A man, whom God has placed at the head of his family, must not
be a child, easily swayed to and fro with every wind that blows
his way. He must not be childish in his manners or affections,
his likes or dislikes, or his emotions. There is a certain quality
of childishness and a certain quality of manliness. It behooves
men to learn to be men and put away childish ways and behaviors.
When Christ was a child, He spoke and acted like a child, although
a sanctified boy, but when He became a man, no one could ever
accuse Him of being a child. He had matured, grown up, developed
His character, became a man, toughened up His muscles and could
endure not only physical suffering, toil, and privation, but was
not swayed by emotions, wasn’t petulant, wasn’t easily
shaken in his beliefs or directions. He knew where He wanted to
go and He bent every effort to obtain His goals.
Our passions and emotions must, at all times, be under firm, disciplined
control. There is a time for tears and a time for stern, yet loving
authority. There is a time for passion and a time for gentle rebuke.
It is the wise, mature man who knows the difference.
Too many men fail to control their emotions or tempers, are easily
provoked, easily irritated, are undisciplined boys, leaving to
their wives the necessity of picking up after them literally and
figuratively when their emotions make a mess of family life. God
never intended that our wives should repair the emotional mess
we leave behind, as we merrily go our way, unconcerned about the
consequences of our temperamental outbursts.
Men are to stand firm and tall as the cedars of Lebanon, to use
a Biblical expression, or as firm as an oak against the blasts
of winter or the fury of the storm. Children can not do this but
must flee to the protective, shielding arms of their parents for
they have neither strength of character nor sufficient maturity
to withstand the storms of life. But men have grown up, become
strong, emotionally stable, mature and fortified with wisdom and
guided by the Spirit of God and, therefore, can shelter little
children while they wisely chart their course among the reefs
and shoals and rocks that would sink their little ship.
Let us be the captain of our families, taking sailing directions
from the Master who has all the charts and an unerring compass.
Only experienced sailors can pilot a ship safely through the storms
of life. We, as man and husbands and fathers are called upon to
learn in the mariners school of Christ and graduate to master
of our own ship, not to overuse a good metaphor. I have confidence
in you, Carl, that you welcome the sailing directions of Christ
and can lead your family safely into port. You are not a boy,
you are not a child, but a man, a mature, well disciplined man,
reflecting the character of Christ.
Be courageous. Guard your emotions and affections, having eyes
only for your wife and thoughts only for your own family. Christ
has given you a wonderful family and desires that you shall be
all that you can be for his glory
With much brotherly love, may the Lord bless you.
Allen A. Benson