November 5, 1996
Dear Br. Alvion:
Many things are expected of Christian men, for we fill a prominent position in the plan of God for the salvation of the world. One of the most important, perhaps, is that we maintain a manly bearing before our wives, our children, our church brethren, and the world. The world has a right to expect from us a higher standard of conduct and deportment then even it exhibits.
But what constitutes a manly bearing or deportment? Aside from
physical traits, there are attitudinal characteristics that differentiate
men from women; men posses greater physical power or prowess then
women, therefore, how we use this power is an evidence of our
manly bearing; if we use it to intimidate our wives or weaker
brethren, then we are little better then the animals. However,
if we control our power, sheath the claws, so to speak, harness
the raw energy God has entrusted to us, and use it to protect,
shield, and defend our children, wives, and others from danger,
both physical and moral, then we exhibit a manly bearing. To be
a true gentleman, therefore, is to refrain from using our power
for harm and, instead, use it for good, to be gentle in bearing,
mannerisms, attitudes, speech, conduct, and deportment.
When Christ was upon the earth, there was no evidence or accusation
of sexual harassment concerning Him or His disciples; had He been
anything less then an honorable gentleman, discouraging undue
familiarity, both from men and women, then his enemies would have
pounced upon this indiscretion as an evidence that He was a fake,
an impostor, a false Christ.
He behaved so honorably, that no one, not His enemies nor His
friends, could rightly accuse Him of dishonoring His Father. If
we would behave as Christ did, two thousand years ago, feminists
would have no occasion to discredit men or accuse them; where
there is no smoke, after all, there is no fire.
How we approach women is a good example of a manly bearing. Do
we honor them as sisters? Do we refrain from the sexual look or
stare? (An astute women can intuitively distinguish the intent
of the heart from the manner of the look.) Do we touch women inappropriately?
Do we say things that might offend or do we refrain from speaking
course, vulgar, sexually explicit, demeaning words that women
would find offensive? Do we harness our sexual natures and keep
them in control? Do we doff our hats when a lady enters the room?
Do we open a door, give her our seat, assist her with her coat,
and display countless other gentlemanly courtesies?
Another illustration would be our conduct when in male society.
Do we resort to the crude joke, the vulgar sexual innuendo, the
rough and course gesture designed to gain the approval of other
men? Do we honor older men as worthy of respect? Do we gently
admonish younger men and boys when they say or do something offensive
or inappropriate? Are we a role model for boys? If they follow
our example, what will others say of them?
When irritated or impatient, when the plane is late, the client
is obtuse, the traffic is backed up, the bank teller dawdles,
our son leaves his tricycle in the driveway, how do we react?
Do we frown, scold, fret, chide, glower, curse, criticize, belittle,
berate, comment upon the ancestry of the offender, or do we offer
complements, smile, speak in pleasant tones, carefully remove
the tricycle remembering that it is a prized possession of our
son, offer encouragement or a helping hand?
Dignity is another virtue worthy of men as it is of women, but
seldom found in either sex. To be a dignified gentleman commands
respect and deference; to be dignified is to have a reserved manner,
to refrain from joking or jesting, the silly and meaningless laugh,
the smirk, careless posture, flippant and irrelevant remark, obscenities
of all types, common and meaningless expressions, to have good
etiquette, to behave oneself properly for the occasion.
A manly bearing can also be defined as behaving like a man, to
avoid effeminate gestures and speech patterns. There are certain
gestures that are generally regarded as feminine and certain gestures
that are regarded as masculine. There are clearly defined styles
of dress, although women have lost sight of what they are, while
men seem to have a distinct sense of what is masculine in wearing
apparel.
Christ expects men to act and dress like men and women to act
and dress like women. God intended us to behave like men and when
we closely adhere to His standards, we as surely represent Him
and His character as when giving Bible studies or singing gospel
songs in church. Let us be men for Christ and make Him proud of
us, always bearing in mind that without Him we are nothing but
through His grace we can receive and partake of His manly bearing
and be the gentlemen He desires us to be.
May the Lord bless you in all your efforts to represent Christ.
Your brother in Christ.
Allen A. Benson