January 3, 1998
Dear Br. Darius:
Sevilla and I spent a quiet Christmas, just the two of us. Our only surviving daughter lives in Michigan and didn’t even think of coming home for Christmas. However, despite the lack of festivities, the holiday season was tranquil and cheerful for we made our own cheer, not requiring artificial ingredients to enjoy the season.
Children make the holiday seasons with their natural buoyancy,
eager expectation, and wide-eyed excitement. Children are the
heritage of the Lord. He loaned them to us for a short season,
to train and fashion their characters that they may shine as stars
amidst the moral darkness that surrounds us on every side and
represent Christ through their chaste conversation and behavior,
a tribute to our nurturing as parents. They are our graduation
examination, testifying to our faithfulness in following the Lord’s
instructions in their up bringing. They do not belong to us, they
are not property to be disposed of at will or placed on a shelf
and admired as we would admire a cherished heirloom. As good loan
officers, to use a modern expression, we are to handle them wisely
and with prudence that Christ may receive them back to Himself,
fully mature in body, mind, and spirit, ready to assume their
rightful position in the great plan of redemption for a world
lost in sin.
We are not to idolize or neglect our children, neither are they
to rule our homes as petty dictators, but must lean submission
under our gentle and kind guidance and reproof. As they witness
us on our knees, seeking counsel from the Lord through prayer
and Bible study, they will recognize that we have their best interests
in mind and be encouraged to trust our guidance, as it originates
from the Lord. This may seem like a foolish or idealistic expectation,
but Christ does not so regard it. Children are often of greater
value, in the sight of heaven, then the President of the United
States, the governor, or your favorite country and western singer.
Christ died for children as much as He died for us, and His salvation
is as freely given to them as to us.
When He wanted to illustrate the nature of His kingdom, He placed
a little child upon His lap and offered this child as a fit representation
of the character that is most acceptable to heaven. Not that we
are to act like little children with their childish ways, but
we are to trust like little children, to trust in childlike simplicity
that our heavenly Father will provide for our needs. Children
should not worry that their parents can or will not provide for
them, but as little puppies or kittens, having no cares or perplexities,
grow up in full confidence that mother and father will make full
and ample provision for their needs just as our Savior makes full
and ample provision for our needs.
We should regard children as precious in the sight of heaven and
seek to discharge our responsibility to them not just in practical
ways but in love and kindness, generosity and benevolence, teaching
them lessons of Christ that are adapted to their emerging intellect
and interests.
We should seek to make home as attractive as possible, not in
material things, for there is far too much show and display today,
but attractive in love and joy, happiness and nurturing, so that
children would rather stay at home, with mother and father, then
wonder the streets in search of evil to corrupt their morals and
character. This is as Christ would have it. As His teacher, we
are to faithfully discharge our duty as long as they are alive,
to instruct them in the things of God, teaching them from the
Bible, lessons of practical and spiritual significance and usefulness.
We should never forget that we were children and endeavor to treat
our own children as we desired our parents to treat and respect
us. When they make mistakes or disobey, we should correct in love
and discipline in kindness and tenderness, adopting the discipline
to the maturity of the child, never scolding, or criticizing,
humiliating or embarrassing them especially before their friends,
or reprimanding them needlessly. As we desire Christ to treat
us, so we should treat our children, grandchildren or the children
that come within our sphere of influence. God has given us children
as a trust to be returned to him improved in character and morals
that they may in their turn act their part to win others to the
Lord. This is the only reason why God placed children in our care.
I realize that you don’t have any little ones of your own,
but you have grandchildren to love and cherish and grown children
to instruct in the ways of parenting. May God bless you with health,
good eyes for driving, and a Christ-like disposition. Your brother
in Christ.
Allen A. Benson