February 15,1997
Dear Br. Tom:
The other night I had an interesting experience. My younger sister called. This is surprising in itself for she almost never calls. Several weeks earlier, I had sent my former brother-in-law a copy of the Oak and the Rose letter that I send to all my brothers in Christ. He apparently read it and it made him extremely mad. He called my sister and demanded, almost in tears, “Why does Allen rob an onion into my emotional wounds?” He demanded that she call me and ask me not to send him any more letters.
Many years ago, I did something to offend him and he has never
forgiven me, preferring to harbor resentment and bitterness for
years. Now, these old wounds were reopened and he was angry all
over again as he thought of what I had done to him, although the
transgression in question was not perpetrated against him, he
gratuitously accepted the hurt and allowed it to fester for many
years. When my sister called, she at first wanted to make me feel
guilty for this former transgression in her usual manner and,
in response to this implied rebuke and my shame over my transgression,
I began to experience the old guilt feelings associated with this
sin.
Then the Lord brought conviction to my mind. I had repented of
this sin, confessed my transgression to Him and both of my sisters
and was forgiven by Him and them. Therefore, having been forgiven,
I need not feel guilty all over again, I could spurn her attempts
to impute guilt to me where none existed. What a refreshing experience,
to believe that I was forgiven and need no longer labor under
a guilt feeling. How often we, as Christians and children of God,
having committed a sin or transgression, retain the guilt of this
act for the rest of our lives while Christ offers to set us free
from guilt. What a joy it is to experience, first hand, the pardoning
love of Christ that washes away guilt when we make confession
and repentance.
I am reminded that no one with unconfessed sins will be able to
endure the time of trouble for their sins will rise up before
them and crush the very life out of them. But how blessed is our
God who encourages us to search our hearts, now, while it is day,
for all manner of unconfessed and unrepented sins and confess
them and repent of them and receive His health-restoring message
of love and forgivingness. It is for this reason that we need
not fear the time of trouble just before us and may, with confidence,
welcome Christ when he returns on the clouds of glory. And what
of my x-brother-in-law. The Lord used my sister to help him understand
the original source of his anger which was not me but his own
family and specifically his own father. He had displaced his anger
for his father unto me but through the power of the Holy Spirit,
working through my letter, he opened his heart to receive God’s
forgiveness. It remains to be seen wether my brother-in-law will
profit by this opportunity. Your brother in Christ.
Allen A. Benson