*Spring lambs running across a field all in a line today, kind of like racing at sports day :o)

*Gentleman tipped his hat to me at the racecourse :o)

*Vibe FM played disco inferno :o)

*Mother duck and six chicks asked me for some bread while leaving work :o)

*Had a couple of nice dreams :o)

*Decided I liked my new haircut, even though it's short :o)

*Was greeted by my dog in such a loving "look here's mummy" kind of way :o)

*Received all these wonderful emails full of support and understanding from these already troubled women who just find the time regardless to cheer me on too :o)
L

I find that the best thing to do is to hope for success but plan for failure, I always have Plan
B and C ready to go if I don't succeed. Crying helps and I try not to beat myself up if I am upset as it is an important part of the healing process. I usually feel better (and older and wiser) after a couple of weeks. I have also found that it is important to have other goals in my life so that I am not just 'IVF-Woman'. Try to stay healthy, eat right, exercise, sleep well and enjoy the sunshine.

With IVF, just don't expect too much from yourself, the hormones put your body out of whack and things seem to get slightly out of perspective as the drugs heighten emotions. I actually love the process as it means I am doing something positive about my infertility and there is a goal at the end of it. It is really difficult if it does not work and it can be hard to make the decision to keep going, but it is a normal emotion and if you are strong enough to get this far, you will manage. I know how difficult it is to worry about failure, but there are many positives as well, just read this mail list to see that.
Take it each day at a time, do not allow people to stress you out, especially at work, try and adopt a who cares attitude if things are not working out and count to ten if someone is being pushy, horrible or too demanding and accept that you can only do what you can do and not let things pile up on top of you. Similarly, while on treatment, if you are tired, rest. What is more important, the dishes in the sink or your sanity and the treatment you are on. I used to be a house proud freak and it still grates on my nerves if things are not looking like visitors could come at any minute, but when I need to rest, I have found a microwave and oven are great places for hiding sins if someone comes around unexpectedly.
I think most women have a feeling deep down that we won't be able to have kids, but those of us with medical problems which cause it to be difficult can blame ourselves when it comes true. You cannot blame yourself for trouble in conceiving, it is nothing that you have done or thought in the past which caused it. I used to think with my endo that if only I had tried years earlier, things might have been a whole different ball game, but in my early twenties I was not settled, no long term relationship and certainly not ready for motherhood, and I didn't ask for endo or know endo was causing as much damage to my insides as it was.
Lesley

My biggest fear with our first cycle was not so much that it wouldn't work, but how I would react. It's all very well on a conscious level to say to yourself, oh well, we can always have another go. But when your head isn't thinking straight because of all the hormones you've pumped into yourself, logic goes out of the window. Well, I'm still here, we're going for another cycle, so I suppose you could say I did cope! OK, when my period started before the end of the two week wait and when we did two HPTs and they were negative, I was very upset.... devastated. It took a while to work it through my system. I think the reason it took so long was because I was alone, not physically but emotionally. I didn't know anyone else who had similar experiences. I didn't fancy the idea of face to face counselling. SoI started reading some of the IF newsgroups and found one where I could pour out all my pent up emotions onto my computer screen.The only problem I found was that the NGs are mainly subscribed to by people in the US who don't have the knowledge of the NHS system. Through one of the people I met through the NGs (hi Roser!!), I was introduced to this group and I've found the support to be great. I'm not sure how I would cope without it. Husbands and fertile friends are OK to some extent, but they soon get bored with the constant wittering (that's my experience anyway!!).

The other thing I do is think of each tx cycle as being an opportunity to achieve pregnancy. Without tx, I won't get pg it's as simple as that.

As far as tips to get through this and remain sane. Firstly, don't be too hard on yourself. Take each day as it comes. Take the time to find out as much as you can about the treatment you are going to have. Knowledge is power! Don't be afraid to ask questions - both on this group and with your medical people. Don't let up until you have an answer you are satisfied with. I believe that some medics believe that us mere mortals won't be able to cope with the information they have. It's their responsibility to explain to us so that we understand. I find that if you don't resolve a niggling problem, in your mind it becomes a big issue - particularly when you're on some of the drugs. You don't need to torture yourself like that.

As far as your worst fears being confirmed that you won't get pregnant. I prefer to look at it another way. Without medical help, it will be difficult, probably nigh on impossible to achieve pregnancy. It would be wonderful if we could just jump into bed (or the living room floor, kitchen table, grassy hilltop....wherever!!), make love to our partners and, Bob's your uncle, fall pregnant. I wish! But the reality for us here is that this probably will never happen..... although our consultant did say never say never. So, we have to accept that we will need some form of medical intervention to achieve our ultimate goal. Once that is accepted it doesn't mean you don't get really p*@@ed off every once in a while because you have to go through this, it just means that you look forward with a slightly more positive attitude.
Karin