For The Record
Volume 4, Issue 4, April 7, 2000
My life: My life can be explained in 4 letters: BCDE. Breastfeeding, Colic, Diapers, Engorgement. Actually, breastfeeding about says it all, really! It takes up both a lot of my time and mental ability. I think it is genetically impossible to not doubt yourself as a parent! Here it is my third - the other two having thrived on my milk and turned out to be generally agreeable little kids - and I still spend a great deal of time wondering if I'm feeding Twinkle too often, if my milk isn't good and that's why he only sleeps 3 hrs at a time (at most!), am I eating the wrong things and that's why he's fussy? Wondering if I'm holding him enough, is it wrong to have him sleep in a car seat if he wants to sleep beside me? Am I not giving Twinkle enough attention and that's why he hates to be put down? Not to mention struggling to give Pumpkin and Precious plenty of attention too. (Actually, except for the bare breast thing to lay her head on, Precious doesn't seem to mind Twinkle at all. It's Pumpkin who's taking it hard.)
Monday April 3 was my first day solo. I'm actually very happy - but I've had to lower my standards! I am not totally sure what to do with the kids when I'm feeding Twinkle - which happens pretty often! I trust Pumpkin to leave my sight periodically, but unfortunately Precious follows. So what the heck am I to do with a baby at the breast and a 21 month old on the loose? So every now and then I get so totally frustrated and I drag them inside and put on a scooby doo video. Here I was waiting and waiting for it to get nice out-- and now it's finally nice outside and then they run around like ping pong balls in the lottery machine and I end up bringing them in to watch TV. Ouch! That'll hurt the ole ego!
I'm struggling to find alone time. You know, time to do whatever I want without guilt - like to write this letter or play on the internet or do Twinkle's baby album. Obviously it's not happening. What is so ironic about the whole thing is the amt. of time I do spend 'alone' with only Twinkle - he is fussy at night so I'll sit alone in the rocking chair for upwards of an hour, and 3 or 4 times a night I'm up alone in the dark feeding him. So I sit by myself and think -- and usually I think I wish I had better things to ponder!!
Twinkle, The new Baby: Twinkle and I are still adjusting to each other. He has a very tough transition from breast to bed, and I have to be VERY careful when I put him down. He has this amazing 'sproing' reflex - which is his arms flailing to the sides as he is put down and, even in deep sleep, realizes he is know longer being held. Happily, Hubby and I had an ephiny… Twinkle likes the car seat. Yes, the car seat is confining and he is still upright! Ta da! So, in the 'do whatever works' tradition we now place the car seat in the bassinet and that is where he sleeps when he is not actually on top of me.
Oh boy, K was here on Wednesday (my birthday!) and Twinkle had such a crummy (!) day. Oy! Every time I tried to put him down he woke up and fussed. So I held him a lot, but it's hard to interact with the other two kids with Twinkle on my lap all the time. At least - so I thought - he'll sleep well tonight. Oh ha ha ha. This crummy day was followed by a really awful night. He was fussy after every single feeding that night, and ended up fitfully sleeping on my chest the night through. I was a serious unhappy Zombie on Thursday. But on Thursday he slept like the whole day. Instead of being pleased by this I was worried that he was going to be up all night. So it was a very tired stressful day. Well he did have a serious colic bought from like 7 to 10 that night - but we had a good night sleepwise. Shows you what I know. (Heck, it's only my Third!)
Twinkle continues to have random fits of colic. It's not nearly as often as the first week, thankfully. Also, we have found something that seems to help. You will never believe this - but K's birth attendant had a son who was allergic to all penicillin, and she became something of a herbalist. So she gave K - who gave to me - this fabulous liquid mixture of catnip and fennel! I can't believe it, but it seems to calm his stomach. Now, he sometimes remains fussy after the fennel - but there is a HUGE difference between fussy and colic. Colic breaks my heart with those wrenching screams and the legs pulling up. Fussy is just mewing cries and some unhappiness.
Actually Twinkle is somewhat a gassy baby. You can actually HEAR his stomach grumbling. So I'm happy he doesn't have colic like 24 hours a day. He seems to get fussy every evening after dinner time around 7 and remain fussy till 9 - which is about 2 hours. I walk around the block and hold him over my arms in the colic hold. This seems to help. Twinkle gets up every morning around 7 or 7:30 and stays up till about 8:30 ~ 9 (just in time to get in the way of me making breakfast for the other two.) Then he'll have an awake period around 4. Sometimes he's awake to mess up my dinner (which we've been having at about 5:30 or 6ish) and he's almost always awake in the evening for an extended period of time. His longest period of sleep (of course!) is from 9is to 1am ish. So he'll eat at 8, get fussy/colic and go to sleep at 8:30 ~9ish and not wake up again until 1:30am. Meaning he's gone about 5 hours without eating and 4 hours of sleep. But, Precious doesn't go to bed until 8:30 and Pumpkin till 9 or 9:30 - so I'm not in bed until 9 (if I don't put Pumpkin to bed) or 10 (if I do). Usually Hubby gets the kids 'ready' for bed, meaning he changes them into their Jammies and brushes their teeth and such, and then I read them stories. For awhile there I going to bed right after Precious and not reading Pumpkin his stories, but this seems to have a very negative affect on Pumpkin.
I don't know how much he weighs. His one month appointment is April 11. His belly button cord FINLLY fell off on March 29, so he got his first real bath (as compared to a sponge bath) on March 31.
Pumpkin's life. Well, at the moment Pumpkin has it tough. He's taking the new baby rather hard and has regressed quite a bit. He now needs help doing many mundane things he has been able to do for months - like put his socks on, taking his shoes off, zipping a jacket. Stuff like that. Also, he'll wander around like a lost dog with a sad look on his face saying 'mommy, mommy. . .' acting like he can't find me - meanwhile I'll be right there. Or he'll need help finding his shoes or whatever even if he's tripping on them. I keep reminding myself, "respond with love' even though he's somewhat aggravating. Poor guy. Lots of whining. I'm trying to involve him in things that I must do, like prepare dinner, so that he feels special.Pumpkin now is in soccer on Monday nights. It's called soccer sprouts and is for 3 and 4 year olds. I have yet to go and see him 'play', so I'm not able to say how cute it is. However, the little ball he has is great. It's an actual soccer ball and it the perfect size for him. Hubby says he doesn't pay much attention to the 'teacher' but Pumpkin says he enjoys it.
In my ongoing quest to find things to do with Pumpkin I present to you = The matching game. This is actually an idea from Blue's Clues. We were watching it and they were playing the game concentration - you know, where you turn over cards 2 at a time and try to find the matching card. One evening I was trying to come up with something to do so I cut up 3 paper plates and let Pumpkin choose what color and shape to up on each pie, in sets of two. So then we turn the pies over and we play the matching game. I.E. Do these match? Pumpkin doesn't totally understand the concept of remember where the shapes are - it's more like he turns two over, then leaves one rightside up and he turns over every other pie looking for the match. However, he does seem to sometimes remember where the match is. I figure, the goal here is to interact with Pumpkin, so if he's doing it 'wrong' the only one who knows that is me.
We tried painting the other day, but it was only marginally successful. I think it would have gone better but Twinkle didn't want to be put down - thus he was on my lap. SO Pumpkin was more interested in removing Twinkle than painting. Actually, I had fun - I used some flower stencils and made a pretty picture, if I do say so myself. This also may have been part of it - mommy was not totally focused on Pumpkin, but was partially focused on Twinkle and partially focused on her own painting. I'll be better next time.
I just want to say again that he is driving me nuts. Argh!!!
>Precious's life. Precious is cute as a button and annoying as heck. In short, she's 2. She is such a total doll. You should hear her talk! Oh heavens is it CUTE! Gab gab gab! And she always looks at you with such a happy, innocent, totally trusting look! She just KNOWS she's adorable!We had the most hysterical trip to the grocery the other day. I haven't been going regularly since near the end of the pregnancy, and Hubby has been doing most of the shopping (provided I give him a detailed list.) Anyway, there are things I somehow can never explain to Hubby that I want (flavored coffee creamer, for example! Dear, it's in the MILK CASE, that's why I wrote it down after OJ, Yogurt and Milk!!!) Anyway, so I thought I would go and get the items that are unable to penetrate Hubby's skull due to a thick protective layer of male hormones and *scary music starts now * I would take Precious. Ha ha.. So, we approach the milk case and the store people have cleverly placed a large display of animal cookies with the boxes at child height. So you get your OJ, you manuver your cart around the animal cookies, you attempt to ignore the frantic begging of your children, you get your Milk etc. I mean, it's not by accident this display is always there! Every parent in the universe is going to get OJ and Milk - and between these two critical products are these cookies! So Precious wrapped her greedy paws around a box of cookie and began frantically asking me to open them via the only communication method she has. Screaming.
Now, I'm more than willing to buy her crackers and even let her have them, but I didn't want to reward screaming. And I certainly didn't want her to associate screaming in a public place with getting her way. SO I said no and put the cookies in the cart. You can imagine the effect this had on our poor heroine, who acted in a manner appropriate to if I had chopped off her arm. Simply screaming not having the desired effect, she decided to lie on the floor. Joy. However, since she is my second, this no longer bothers me. So I picked her up and placed her wailing body in the middle of the first frozen food isle and then got my items; picked up her still wailing body, carried it to the next isle, placed it in the middle of the isle and got more items etc. It was actually easier with her screaming because she stayed in one play and I always knew were she was. And she wasn't grabbing things off shelves and breaking them. Once we got to the car (by this point she was totally calm) I gave her the cookies. (Which it turns out she didn't really want anyway.)
Precious is such a drinker! She wants water all the time. Not milk or juice, but water? Oh well. She hasn't been using a sippy cup for just ages now - she's quite insulted by them and throws them at you when offered. Plus, she wants to carry her own water cup around. So it's difficult in public places (as well as in the house!) not to have a sippy cup as she toddles aroun. (I am such the genius!) So I've gotten some deer park water bottles that have a top that flips up and down and I fill those with water and juice - it's not a baby cup so she's happy, but when it falls over it dribbles and not a gush. Also, I can easily stop up the top for carrying in diaper bags. But the thing is that she drinks constantly!
Along this line, Precious now refuses to sit in the high chair. Sigh. So she would climb up on to a big chair and then lean against the table to reach it. This sometimes causes the chair to slide backwards and I would then have to save Precious from killing herself. Happily, a resale store near me had a nice booster seat, which has worked out really well. So she sat in that for the first time on March 28. The only negative is that when she is done, if she is bored, she'll pour her juice cup over - and since there is no longer a tray she is basically pouring water all over the table and floor. SO the fact that she prefers water is a HUGE positive.
One of the joys of young Precious's life is seeing Kenny's doggies. They have 2 dogs and a fenced in back yard. The dogs have a doggie door and are outside most of the time. So Precious somehow sees moving blurs at the end of the cul-de-sac and realizes they are the dogs and
Oh yes. And Precious is TOTALLY addicted to Barney. She wanders around the house saying Barney Barney Barney and then screaming if we watch something else on TV (and when we do watch Barney Pumpkin gets mad because he wants to watch 'his show!' Anyway, last week I had 'that look in my eye' and Hubby wisely decided to take both kids out of the house before I killed one of them. It did not occur to me that allowing my daughter, my husband, and his wallet to all leave the house at the same time would be a problem. However, an hour later Precious walks in with a Barney that is nearly at big as she is! We're talking like a 30 some dollar stuffed animal! Oh well, she totally loves it.
What has happened since last we talked: Speaking of Hubby going to the grocery for me. Funny story. So Tuesday night - the night before my b-day - Hubby is running to the store for me and needs the list. I decided, what the heck - it is my birthday! So the last 2 items on the list were "Buy birthday card for Julie" and "Buy birthday cake for Julie". So the evening of my birthday we had a wonderful chocolate cake and Hubby bought me a very nice card. :+)Our next door neighbors are Al and Shirley. You can't get nicer neighbors except for maybe Bill and Sharon. Anyway, Al came over last week and said they were cutting down some dead trees in the yard and they knew we make lots of fires, do we want the wood? So Hubby said heck yes. You should see the enormous coffee tables sized logs now in our backyard! I don't know what I was expecting - but Al was serious when he said TREES. We have more wood then we know what to do with!!!
Little Precious has it made in the shade - she just doesn't know it yet! For example, I mentioned to my buddy K that I just didn't have the time to go and buy Precious summer clothes, so she was just going to wear Pumpkins old summer clothes from years gone by. K - a mother of one who still has the energy to be upset by things like girls wearing old, stained, boys clothes featuring dinosaurs and athletic equipment - was properly horrified and promptly went on e-bay (an internet site) and bought Precious some of the cutest clothes. So I feel like a fool for not going online myself to get clothes. Shame on me, really. But I don't have the energy to care. (But I love K!) She can run around naked. My goal is to have her be in a swimsuit all summer anyway.
On Wednesdays K (with her 16 month old son, Nick) comes over in the morning and we hang out. This has been a lot of fun and working out well. On Thursdays I hang out with K's husband C (and Nick). Recently we have been going to the outdoor McDonalds and letting the kids run around like wild men. Last Thurs. we got there at like 10:30 - which was awesome because there was NO ONE else there, and we basically could sit and talk and not pay attention. The only kids getting hurt were are own and they were only hurting each other. J We left at 12:30 when other reasonable parents showed up with their kids. Sharon watches her grandson W on Thursday evenings, so we're hoping to have an ongoing play date with W. Along this line, can you believe that a ton of people have bought us gifts for the baby? I'm pretty floored. I figured that most people would be pretty bored of me having babies by now, but we've gotten a whole bunch of really nice things. Makes me feel really loved. Even the neighbors have bought us stuff! Often nicer stuff then we would have bought on our own!
From the 'this only happens to make you totally miserable' department: our microwave broke! Of course, this would be totally no big deal. . . except. . . the damn thing is actually attached to our stove. No, it's not just a stand behind the stove, it is actually a working part of the stove! So to turn on the stove light you press a button on the microwave, when the stove is on the light indicating it is on is on the microwave etc. Man, Hubby and I use the m-wave more than we use the stove!! SO this is catastrophic!! Do we buy a new m-wave the same as what we have now? It that possible? Do we buy both a new m-wave and stove? Like when in the hell are we going to have the time to go and look at stoves? We went today to look a m-waves and Twinkle decided to have a random fit of colic, which caused Precious to scream as well. So that was totally stressful and equally non helpful. Hubby is going to go back later tonight without kids and randomly get a small cheap m-wave so that we can still have dinner while we mull over what to do about the stove. Again, thank heavens for the internet. I assume Hubby will do a lot of product research and possibly prices via our home computer and print out things for me to look at. Then I will, with amazing blind faith, hand Hubby the family credit card and tell him to buy what he thinks is best. (NOT! I will write out in excruciating detail, down to the trim color, what I want in a stove and/or m-wave and expect him to buy one within our budget.)
Oh yeah, the lawn mower is on the verge of breaking too.