It's kind of funny. I rely so heavily on Hubby during the weekends. Its great to have someone else to hand the baby to, or to say - you go find out what Precious is doing. It's wonderful to be able to breastfeed Twinkle for a long period of time without worrying what mischief the other two are getting into. So on Sunday evening I was starting to panic, thinking - oh my gosh, how I am going to survive without help? And then I remembered, I've already survived several weeks on my own already. But every Sunday afternoon I start to panic anyway.

A totally different random thought. People have said I write well (which puffs me up to no end, I assure you.) However, that's not really the case. I don't write that well - what I have is a good sense of humor which comes through in my writing. It really pains me that I don't write well. I wish I could describe to you how soft Twinkle's hair is after a bath. The only thing I can think to describe it to you is goose down pillow feathers. Softer than puppy's fur - like running your hand over the tickley tops of down pillow feathers. God I love his hair after a bath! Or describe the look of intense concentration on his face when he laches on for breastfeeding - his eyes even cross! Or the yoink yoink yoink sound he makes sucking on my finger when colic hits. Or how he smells that baby smell. Or describe how intensely I love him, how intensely I love all of them. How overwhelming that love is. You always think - oh those 'crazy' people that have 7 kids, they can't love them like I love my kids. But they do. It's unbelievable how a mother's heart has capacity for love.

I now have Pumpkin and Precious in daycare on Tuesdays. I want to keep them in the loop at daycare with their friends, and also give me a day to get some sleep, fold laundry, and do random me things. Of course, the first day I tried to do this Twinkle has another horrid day, so instead of being relaxing it was frustrating beyond believe. I swear! Nothing irratates a baby like a clean diaper, but a close second is a mom with an agenda. I had my whole day planned out - sleep till 12, nurse, a long scalding hot shower with sented bath gel, lunch, play on the computer, nurse, plan dinners, bookstore, get kids. I did only 2 of those things (not sleeping!) which was eventually make it to the bookstore and pick the kids up. Oh well, better luck this Tuesday. One neat thing was how happy the kids in Pumpkin's class were to see him! They all bounded up yelling "Pumpkin's here!" and came to give him hugs. Precious doesn't really have friends in her class yet, but she didn't even seem to notice I was leaving, so I'll take that as a good sign.

A final funny story about me (I know what you're thinking ~ "Quit your yapping and get on to the kids!") I am now totally addicted to scented body gel. I usually ask for some bubble bath or scented bath soap for mother's day. Then, I save it for a 'special' occasion. Needless to say, it then lasts all year. Well, while in the shower while very pregnant with the two kids pulling on my leg and arguing over who gets to stand in front I realized, I don't have special occasions anymore. What? I'm going to smell like vanilla going to the hockey game? The point is, even getting a shower is a minor victory and I should celebrate. Well, since that time I've been a woman on a mission - I am TOTALLY addicted to my scented shower gel and matching body lotion. I got a ton of it from different people for my birthday and I'm so happy. It's actually pathetic how much I look forward to my shower now! Of course, on random days Pumpkin now smells like peaches or raspberry, but at least he's clean.

Oh yeah - JoAnn sent me some foaming bath gel. It's somewhat like shaving gel in that it only foams a little when you spray it in your hand, but once you touch it, that activates it into a large foaming mass. The package arrived and Pumpkin wanted to check some of the gel out, so I sprayed it in his hand. Having this purple lump just sitting in his hand was not quite the experience he was expecting so he tried to rub it off using his other hand. This activated it and it began foaming. So Pumpkin tried a little harder to get rid of the gel rubbing his hands together - which caused it to foam up more everywhere. You should have seen the concerned look on Pumpkin's face! By the time I came to his rescue he had foam up past his elbows.

Twinkle, The new Baby: Well, Twinkle continues to be truly astounding. At his one month checkup - exactly 1 month, no less - he was 12 pounds 10 oz!! (95 % height and 95% + weight) The Dr. also commented on how strong Twinkle is. He was trying to get Twinkle to sit up, but was unable to because Twinkle kept planting his feet and therefore was standing up!! (Well, he wasn't actually truly standing, but he was trying to. The Dr. was amazed.) Moreover, the nurse was also really impressed with Twinkle's tracking ability. She was holding his one hand while standing above his head - Twinkle is lying down and she's up at the crown of his head. Well, he actually turned his neck and head all the way up so he could find out where the voice was from, and then followed her face back and forth. She actually looked at me and said 'Wow!'

I have to tell you, I just love my pedeitrition. Every time I go I am so annoyed because I've got to cart 3 kids across the hospital parking lot, and I'm always late, and no matter how late I am I still end up waiting forever and grrrrr. However, I always leave feeling so good, like I am the best mom in the world. He always has something positive to say to me and tells me I'm doing a great job, that my kids are thriving, and (most importantly) that I have beautiful kids. So my nursing goal for next month is 14 pounds, which I'm sure I'll hit no problem.

Twinkle has going from pooping every hour - we set a world's record where I had to change his diaper 4 times just to get him off the diaper changing table! - to about once every 36 hours. Well, I shall leave it for you to imagine the output production of a 13 pound baby, so let it suffice to say that after the first 24 hours we begin to carry him around in towels. Dear lord, when the time comes it's like he explodes, which he always does at the most inopportune times. Like at 5 am just after I've brought him into bed with me and we are all snuggled up together. Or right after swimming, when he's screaming because he's hungry, which also happens to be just as I've exited the shower with the other two kids butt naked and running around. YUCK. But also funny.

Twinkle continues to have very tough transition from breast to bed. When mom and Buck were up Buck kept saying what a great baby Twinkle is, and then my mom looks at him and says, "That's because I spent the morning, standing, holding him." J So he's great as long as he is being held, but you put him down and he wakes up in no time. This remains very frustrating for me, because I can't just spend an hour in bed beside him feeding him for him to then take a 45 minute nap. It's nearly maddening to have this obviously tired, mewling, baby in your arms, while you also have two other kids that want attention. GO TO SLEEP! Boy does he like to be held!

This leads me to do things I didn't do with the other two - like leave him sleep in the mechanical swing! A great deal of me is simply appalled at my parenting at this point - I can never imagine putting a sleepy but awake kid in a mechanical swing and then leaving him in there. See, I more or less ascribe to a philosophy of parenting called "Attachment Parenting" - IE, spoil your kid. The idea being that you carry your children as much as possible (in a baby sling), never use pacifier, breastfeed on demand, and meet all their emotional and physical needs. Obviously, putting your kid in a swing in not part of the equation. However, Hubby points out that Twinkle does need his sleep, I need my sanity, and he appears happy. But I hate it to leave him there - especially when he doesn't fall asleep right away but just swings (abet, content) in the chair. So I'm kind of beating myself up on the issue. But when I carry him around in the sling he is not comfortable half the time because other children are climbing on him. And I can't spend my day yelling at Precious and Pumpkin not to hug me.

All is not horrible with Twinkle, who is a beautiful and happy child (when not sleepy.) At least Twinkle's colic seems to be slowing down! We have maybe 2 sessions a week now, either very early in the morning - like 5:30 am or in the evening around 7. We do have some random fussiness, but most of that is because he is so damn tired and he just won't go to bed! He's doing OK at night too - not great, but OK. He's starting this pattern of going to bed around 9:30 and then sleeping until 2, so that is wonderful. He remains out of sorts after the early morning feeding - either 4 or 5. He never seems to fall into a deep sleep after that, and I usually give up after 20 minutes of grunting from the carseat and bring him into bed with me (Cue time to explode.) So I get great sleep till 2. Then he'll want to eat again at 4 or 4:30 (note that is only 2 and a half hours) Today was even worse - eat at 2. Back in bed at 2:37. Twinkle grunting and coughing and such until 3. At 3:57 he screams a few time - needs to be burped (Again!) and walked. Wakes up again around 5 to be burped and walked, and then is a pain until I bring him to bed. At 6:30 the alarm goes off, and he gets ticked. Finally around 7 he falls asleep - just in time for everyone else to wake up.

Twinkle took his first bath with me on April 8. It appears he will be a water baby like his siblings. Really seems to enjoy his bath, even with Precious there in the tub with me attempting to 'help.' Mom gave him a bath on April 23 and it was a beautiful thing to behold. Michael smiling and splashing and actually giggling. And mom was simply shivering with joy ("Oh my beautiful baby") all the while squealing at me "Julie, he's smiling, come and look!" It was really cute.

I should mention that he started smiling on about April 20. I mean, he's been smiling from day 1, but just testing out the muscles. Now he looks at you and smiles in response to things. Just blows me away. I think a baby's smile could end a war there is just so much love and joy in it. Sometimes I can see the smile lurking in his eyes and the very ends of his mouth as he nurses. He also seems to make sounds at the appropriate times in conversation. He waits for you to quit talking to him and makes continue noises.

Pumpkin's life. I continue to want to kill Pumpkin. Respond with love, respond with love - I say that like 200 times a day. Last Thurs. I decided to go to morning mass with K's Hubby. Of course, K's Hubby is taking N who is 16 mos. while I've got 3. So Pumpkin got mad about something and started crying - can you believe he cried during the ENTIRE mass? I was SO frustrated!!! He decided he wanted to suck my thumb! GRRRR. Now, in hindsight I should have let him suck my thumb; so this is what you need to feel loved? Fine. However, at the time I was annoyed and frustrated. I wonder why I even try when I get nothing out of it except high blood pressure. On a positive note, after mass we all went to McD.s again and Twinkle slept and Precious has learned how to go down the slide by herself, (How cool) so K's Hubby and I actually got to hang out and talk and everyone took naps. Yippee!!

We celebrated Pumpkin's birthday while both Dad and Nanna T and again while Mom and Buck were here. One thing that was funny when Dad/Nanna T were here. They got here Friday night and were telling Pumpkin that we were going to open presents. Well, that was the very first thing he wanted to do. But we said, "Oh, not now. We'll open presents later." So, out of nowhere on Saturday afternoon Pumpkin looks at Nanna T and says, "Remember when you said we would open presents later? When is that?" So we opened gifts very shortly thereafter. Dad and Nanna T got him a combination T-ball thing. So you can set the stand up so it's a T-ball and you hit the ball of the top of the T. OR, the T thing becomes a ball holder at an angle, and you have a red button you stand on to set the spring, and a green button you push to have the spring released sending the ball in the air - and you attempt to hit the ball in the air. Can you believe within 5 minutes Pumpkin was hitting the ball in the air? Heck with the T-ball part, that's for sissys! We were all amazed - the minute he saw the ball being flung in the air by the spring, he refused to deal with the Tball stand. He is barely heavy enough to catch the spring, and there he is hitting 'live' pitches!! So we're all out there in the rain on Sat. night cheering for Pumpkin. This led to the quote of the century! That night Dad looks at me earnestly and says,
Dad: "Well, now you've got to decide if he's going to be a left-handed or right-handed batter."
ME: "I need to decide that NOW? He's 4!"
Dad: "Oh yeah. It's critical! See in the major leagues. . . . [discussion of left and right handed pitchers and something about mickey mantel being the only switch power hitter, but wait there was XXX who was too etc. etc.] My dad is totally outstanding!

Pumpkin also got a really cool gift from one of Hubby's sisters. It was a little plastic camping kit with a battery operated lantern, working binoculars, a fake swiss army knife and a canteen. So he totally LOVES the lantern and we are going through batteries like crazy. He figured out how to hand it from a hook in the back of the van by his seat, so he is quite delighted with it (except it sometimes falls off when we go around turns.)

Pumpkin's soccer class paid for itself the other night. It was a cold and rainy day so we never left the house, and he was a little wired. (to say the least) It was a JOY to send him out the door to run around. And he does seem to enjoy it. I ask him what he does there, and he only vaguely remembers the soccer part of it. So I have to ask Hubby for translation - "Well, there was a roller hockey game going on in the gym next to us and he loved seeing that, and some kid hit him on the head and said sorry, and Pumpkin kicked his ball into the lights right after being told NOT to do that so he said sorry." But Pumpkin always remembers to tell me about the fire trucks! The fire house is at the end of our street and Pumpkin is keenly interested if they are inside or outside. I finally got to see Pumpkin's class on April 25. It's an exercise in barely contained chaos. The teachers have the kids do 'dumb' (to me) thinks like try to take their ball through a million little cones placed randomly but close together. I'm like - have them kick the ball in straight lines and stop it with their feet. Every kid there doesn't completely understand the concept of not using your hands (a big deal in soccer!) It seems to me just having them understand that fact should be a big first priority. We got there about 20 minutes early with all 3 kids and kicked the ball around in this HUGE gym. Again, it's worth it simply to have Pumpkin run around like that. (It's still pretty rainy and cold here, so this runs off some energy)

Pumpkin really likes sleeping with people - probably because he is then the center of attention. Anyway, he doesn't fit in his bed with 2 other adults. So Dad and Nanna T are here and he is trying to convince us to let him sleep in there with them. So I say, "Honey, you won't fit in there too." And Pumpkin looks at me and say, "Let's Try!" It was pretty cute. When people come up he sleeps in bed with Hubby and I. This works out pretty good since we have a king and once Pumpkin falls asleep he doesn't roll around.

Buck really enjoys the nature shows where they are fishing or hunting or something. Last summer we went away f or a wedding and when we came home all Pumpkin wanted to talk about was fishing for sharks. Well, Pumpkin now also likes to hunt for turkeys. We have to hunt them so we can put them in the oven and eat them. I think this is pretty hysterical!

Every now and then the kids do something that makes me so delighted that I have them - the other night they sat and played together. I mean, really played nice and built a big tower out of blocks together for like 45 minutes. I was delighted! No TV, no pushing or deliberately aggravating the other child. Pumpkin was helping Precious! Pumpkin really is a good kid! It's hard to write things because in his desire for attention he does many negative things. Not bad, mind you, just annoying.

When we read our books together at night it is so special and just plain neat and I wonder - how can I be mad at this affectionate little angel? His current love is "Morris goes to School" although he still likes Franklin the turtle. Also this book "Danny the Dinosaur" (What is it with kids and dinosaurs? And boys and guns?") Pumpkin is great with his numbers and letters. He can count to 20 as long as you aren't to particular about the order of the 'teen' numbers. He knows all the letters and can identify them. He can read 'go' and 'cat', and is beginning to understand the concept that letters make words, and the words mean something. Back to Danny the dinosaur book. I never thought Scooby doo would be useful, however it does have mummys and dinosaurs and museums in the show. See, Danny goes to a museum and there he meets a dinosaur. SO we had a nice talk about how mummy's and Knights and stuff are in museums and that when we go to Pittsburgh we will see dinosaur bones at a museum.

Precious's life. Precious is slightly more aggravating every day as she has entered the push limits phase. She'll do something she knows she's not allowed to do - like climb off the curb to get into the street. But she doesn't just run headstrong into the street or anything, she'll wait till I'm watching. And then, all the while looking at me and keenly watching my reaction, she'll slowly climb into the street or leave the yard or whatever. She also does the most adorable "toddler dance" you've ever seen. When she doesn't get her way she stands and then stomps her feet, almost like she's tap dancing or something. It's almost cute except for the shrieking.

April 14 Precious did something that really blew my mind. I guess Hubby couldn't find his keys that morning so he took the spare set. So when we went downstairs (probably to watch our morning edition of Scooby Doo) (Ack) Precious grabbed them, handed them to me and said "Daddy." She clearly knew that these were Hubby's keys compared to mine. WoW!

Precious has learned something darling (NOT!) from her brother. On April 17 she began asking 'Why?' every time you give her a command. I don't think she has any concept of what it means, only that it delays her response. Her verbal skills continue to amaze me. She completely surprised me the other day and pointed to the sky and said "Airplane!" I was singing "Old McDonald had a Farm" to Twinkle and Precious started singing "Eieio." She has entire conversations that are almost understandable.

Usually Precious isn't too bad about going to bed. Dear lord does she love water, and Hubby came upon this great way to get her upstairs. He simply says, "Precious, lets go wash your hands." The girl is in heaven. She's moderately good about brushing her teeth. Let's see, she didn't want to go to bed on the 15th so as Hubby picked her up to go upstairs she began yelling "Let Go!" You should have heard it, it was awesome. Story! Story! She yells!

Precious has just started to take her clothes off. She's always had this thing about taking off her socks, and maybe two weeks ago she started trying to take her shoes off by herself while outside - probably because it was warm enough where a couple of days I foolishly went outside barefoot and gave her the idea. Also, every now and then I'm not in the mood to try to get pasta or grape juice or whatever stains out of her shirt, so I'll simply remove it before dinner. Unfortunately, this has put even more ideas into that tiny head. So she now randomly removes clothes. (No! Not the diaper!) (Not to be outdone, Pumpkin will then randomly remove clothes too.)

PS She knows when her diaper is dirty and will say Dirty Diaper. So I've put her on the potty a few times to see if she's gotten the connection. So Precious will say "Potty Potty" Then she sits there proudly, a princess on her throne, then gets off while saying "I did it!" She'll then pee on the floor. So we're not there yet, but I would like to get her out of diapers by the end of summer, simply because it's so much easier to train in the summer and if we don't manage by Sept, then I'll have to wait another 9 months.

The next story comes from the "things that seem rational when you are tired file." The other day we were having "One of those days!" ~ Everybody was being fussy! So Twinkle is up and Precious is poopie - which she always is now, since she keeps having what Hubby and I call 'nickel shits', meaning these tiny but very stinky little poops - and she clearly waits for you to change her diaper, because almost immediately afterward she'll have another one. I called the Dr. about it, but he said she is learning to control her (medical name for butt muscle) and this is a power move on her part. Anyway, she's smelly and fussy and Twinkle is unhappy as well. So I put him down to scream and put Precious on the diaper changing table to change her. For the first time the whole morning, Precious stops crying and is happy to be on the table. Fine. I'm going to just leave her there and attend to Twinkle who is back in the living room. So I plop on the couch (in the living room! Duh!) to feed him. So, I'm there and I'm actually thinking, "I wonder how long it will take before Precious falls of the diaper changing table" because at this point that is an acceptable price to pay to get her to shut up for 5 minutes. So she's being happy and I hear little 'click, click, click' coming from her direction. Again, I clearly think, "Ah, Precious is playing with the lid to the Vaseline container." Well, I finally get it so Twinkle is marginally happy again when I hear a loud THUD, followed by equally loud screams. My momentary reprieve is over since Precious has obviously now fallen off the diaper table. So I put Twinkle down to get her . . . and . . . (scary music) she is TOTALLY, but TOTALLY, covered in Vaseline. As is the wall, the diaper changing table, and anything else she could touch. Her hair is full of it, her pants, she even left a greasy Precious shaped mark on the floor! Gack! To the bathtub! (Which is where we were all going next anyway. Anyway, the carpet has yet to recover, her hair has a beautiful gloss to it (Vaseline does NOT come out of hair - which I already knew from 2 Halloweens ago where I went to work with Vaseline in my hair for like a doggone week) and the day improved after everyone, including me, had a long nap.

What has happened since last we talked: Dad and Nanna T came up the 14 - 16th. (Boy was that fun.) They both just dote on the kids, who respond with total adoration. Pap pap is having a complete love affair with Twinkle. He keeps saying to me over and over (with awe in his voice) "He is such a beautiful baby!" or "Twinkle is so perfect."

The other amazing thing -- well, dad and his 'magnetic' personality. Remember how with Precious she screamed all the time and was miserable and never slept for more that 20 minutes. . . except when near my father? He didn't see the color of her eyes till she was like 6 months old! I was amazed that she would sleep for him no problem. Well, same thing with Twinkle! Can you believe it? He'd be having a screaming fit and my dad would take him from my arms and walk around with him and the little shit would fall asleep! No breast, no pacifier, no fingers to suck on…Just the heat of pap pap's body! So every time my dad touched Twinkle, within 10 minutes he'd be dreaming. Like, dead to the world dreaming - not just lightly asleep like for me.

You may remember that Hubby and I went to Cancun last fall. We both really enjoyed it (our second trip) and hope to some day go again. Anyway, we told Dad and Nanna T to go during spring break since they are always looking for adventures that will conveniently fit into a week's time. It's so funny - part of the reason I love having guests is that I then have help with the kids. The idea being, the more adults there are, the more people can pay one-on-one attention to the children and I may even get to shower alone. And I secretly hope this will mean the kids will watch very little TV for a weekend. Anyway, since Hubby and I recommended it, I wanted to hear if they liked it - I was a little worried since Cancun is somewhat like Daytona Beach on Steroids and if you are looking for a cultured experience…well, this is not the place to go. (There is a saying (Cancun is supposedly a planned resort) about Cancun which goes: If Cancun is Mexico's idea of a planned resort, they should not be allowed to plan any more. So, Dad is Disaster Man - and he and Nanna T got suckered into a 'come visit our hotel and get free breakfast' which ended up being a 4 hour hard sell of a time share (especially since, in true D-Man form, dad let it slip that they already owned 2 other time shares) so they had everyone but the owner at their table trying to get them to buy it. Plus one night both of them were hungry and lost and Nanna T was driving a rental car and blew through a red light and almost killed a taxi - which got them pulled over by a Mexican police officer who would not give Nanna T back her drivers license unless Dad gave him cold American cash. So there are 3 of us upstairs laughing away at their trip (Disaster Man!) and Hubby is downstairs with the kids. But he keeps coming up to join in the conversation and make fun of dad and Nanna T and their follies. (We told you before you left not to talk to anyone who offers you breakfast!!) Eventually Hubby's with us permanently only going downstairs to change VCR tapes. We finally have a 4:2 adult to child ratio and the kids are downstairs unattended in front of the TV! It was SO worth it!

Two weeks ago Hubby was in a minor car accident. Sigh. He rear ended some other guy, and bashed in his passenger front bumper and broke the headlight. This meant that his car had to go to the shop and we would be down to one. In his defense, Hubby did offer to slug to the pentagon then take the metro and then a bus to work. This would have taken just forever, so I respect Hubby for even offering to do it. However, he probably knew that there was no way I was driving his butt to that slug lot at any time in the morning! The kids and I aren't done with breakfast before 8:30. Heck, some days I'm not out of bed before 8. (Note, I am not saying I am sleeping, just that I'm in bed, perhaps with Barney on.) SO I was without a car for a full week. I did not go insane. Barely.