Searching for one's genetic family is not a simple process -- technically, legally, or emotionally. Some search for years and find little more than roadblocks. I am one of the lucky ones. My birth family and I found each other through an online registry much like this one. It was unexpected for me, I wasn't really even searching at the time -- but it made me realize how simple this process can be. Prior to my reunion, I said that I wanted a long and slow search -- in part because I wanted to see just how resourceful I was, and in part to prepare myself. But now that I have found who I was looking for, I'm realizing the journey was not to be found in the search. The real adventure is proving to be this new relationship, the new knowledge. It's not simply acquiring the missing puzzle pieces of my existance on this earth -- but learning how to make them fit into the bigger picture.
The big question...where does one start? Simply...with what you have. If you are lucky enough to already have the legal name of the person you are looking for, it could be as simple as the nearest phone book. Most of us have a bit more digging to do. However, first things first. Why are you searching? What are you looking for (both in others and yourself)? Most of us truly have no idea what the lives of these people are like, what the circumstances are. The advice that has served me well...expect nothing, be prepared for absolutely anything. I think that although we have undeniable bonds to our biological families -- the truth is that we are all people, human. With human lives, warts and all...and most of us will be strangers when we first meet. Expect nothing, prepare for anything. And check out Wilma Bonner's The ABC's of Searching!
At the beginning, looking at the enormity of a search can feel overwhelming. It may seem easier to go ahead and hire a professional. There is a lot one can do for relatively little money without a searcher, but if you decide that you do need help, check out this site on hiring a professional, first.
Down to detective work! An adoption-related search is usually a two-phase process. Find the names, then find the people. The first and easiest step is to get the word out.
Next, learn that documents are your friends. Get to know them. Check out details like names, dates, signatures and numbers. What about the legal papers from the agencies and lawyers and courts; and what about medical records? Get any and all of them that you can! Unsure about how to ask for them? Check out this great site for sample letters.
Click on the buttons to find out what these documents are and how to get them!
If you're here, you already have an idea of the many recources available on the net. Names, numbers, histories...and many of these document requests can be done online rather than through the mail. Check out my links site for help.
A good local library will have an enormous number of resources, not to mention the state's archives libraries! Old phonebooks, high school and local college yearbooks, city directories, newspaper archives. And not to forget the librarian that's lived in the town for the last few decades. Don't be afraid to ask around! People are great sources of information, but sometimes the words 'genealogy search' works better than 'adoption search'.
Do you have a person's name or social security number but can't find an address? The Social Security Administration can help. They usually won't give you the person's current address, but they will forward a letter for you. The US Military also offers a similar service for current or former personnel.
Follow up on any clues you may have found this far. Find the social worker who handled your case, the physicians and nurses who delivered you and cared for you in the nursery. Ask around about the existance of an unwed mothers' home at that time, and seek out those who ran it. Did the non-identifying info give any clues such as the birth mother's education or occupation? Her interests, age, or information about her family? Look for birth announcements in the local papers. Check with Vital Records or the local Health Department or the hospital for a birth index. Check into high school yearbooks for familiar faces! If you've found a name, check into marraige and divorce certificates.