WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN - A CONTINUING SERIES Part 4 of 5
"What do you mean, you need new clothes?" Really means... "You just bought new clothes 3 years ago." "She's one of those rabid feminists." Really means... "She refused to make my coffee." "But I hate to go shopping." Really means... "Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse." "No, I left plenty of gas in the car." Really means... "You may actually get it to start." "I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys." Really means... "I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions." "I heard you." Really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "You know I could never love anyone else." Really means... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "You look terrific." Really means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving" "I brought you a present." Really means... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game." "I missed you." Really means... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means... "No one will ever see us alive again."
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