1933 RESOLUTIONS FOR MAKING A COMFORTABLE, PROGRESSIVE AND HAPPY FAMILY LIFE


As we have now realized and actually experienced during our two years of marital life that we had never made any possible progress, it is then best and proper for us to adopt a Family resolutions beginning January 1, 1933, in order to develop our moral, mental, physical and financial standard of living. And for this, we should then cooperate and help each other to make our present mode of living more lustrious and progressive in the days ahead, God granting:


Being then the sole head of the family, we should now strive to the best of our ability, do everything in our power to make life worthy of living as the very success of our endeavor largely lies upon us. In our daily toils and struggles for existence, there must be a definite goal which we should aim at. And such goal would comprise the following:

  • A model of love and kindness in the community.
  • A good and ideal home of our own.
  • A good savings bank account.
  • A good family income.
  • A decent and proper education of our children.
  • A good sari-sari store.
  • Alertness of mind and good judgement of the day's problems.


The main weakness which hampered the progress of our homemaking were:

  1. That we had not cultivated the habit of wise saving which often led us to borrow in most occasions.
  2. That we had opened a Chinese account which was the chief cause of our financial ruin.
  3. That we have easily provoked ourselves to anger without just cause.
  4. That we lacked good humor and had no resistance to overcome our everyday worries.
  5. That the wife must be humble in every instance and little highness should necessarily be avoided.
  6. That the wife had sometimes ignored her dear husband's good advices.
  7. That the wife's fond of commanding her husband should be eliminated.
  8. That the wife had been always nagging and suspecting her dear husband from other girls.
  9. That we have not quite developed our physical culture which is an asset to our health.
  10. That we have little neglected our Christian duty which is the chief helper of our struggles.


Hereafter, all the above deficiencies should now be corrected and abolished and that these will only serve as the Stepping Stone to a brigter and better prospect in the future. With the record of the past on hand, we could know what to be avoided and what are to be perfected.


OUR DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES


DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND

  • Supporting and feeding the family by honest labor.
  • Preparing the children for useful citizens.
  • Protecting the right of the family from foreign aggressions.
  • Adjusting any family trouble and misunderstandings.
  • Having direct control and supervision of the entire family.
  • Studying all means for the comfort and progress of the home.
  • Showing his gratitude and due respect toward his in-laws.
  • Preserving his love and affections to his loving wife and children.

DUTIES OF THE WIFE

  • Preparing the food of the family.
  • Making the home beautiful and sanitary.
  • Taking care of the clothes of the family.
  • Molding the character of the children.
  • Helping her husband's earning power by just and honest labor.
  • Regulating the family budget.
  • Preserving her love and affection toward her dear husband and children.
  • Acting as the cashier of the family.
  • Showing her gratitude and respect toward her in-laws.

RELIGION

Above all things, our LOVE and immense FAITH in God must always be cultivated. We had better think only those things that are constructive rather than destructive, so that the evil would be always away from us wherever we are and wherever we go. To do this, four distinct points must be closely observed:

  1. By praying before and after going to bed.
  2. By hearing mass attentively during Sundays and Holidays whenever possible.
  3. By taking a candid confession and holy communion at least once a year with the bold resolution to avoid future sins as much as possible.
  4. By building our moral and mental development daily.

LOVE AND HARMONY

The most important factors in building an ideal and happy home are Love and Harmony. The happiness of a home depends upon the family whose hearts are bound with ties of affections and whose method of bringing up their children is in perfect harmony. The same endearing affections of the couple during courtship must be also cultivated in married life. The wife should always be cheerful to her dear husband. When the husband leaves home to start with the day's toil, he should bid his dear wife a lovely warm kiss every morning if always possible. And when he returns home after the weary day's absence, then the wife ought to greet him with cheerful smiles and loving caresses. The same thing with the little ones who deserve such an affection as well. Then the father may ask about the happenings of the day and what accomplishment has been made for the progress of the home. Anger and quick-action must necessarily be avoided. To secure harmony in the home, four important things should be abolished:

  1. Avoiding quarrel as much as possible.
  2. Avoiding the nagging business.
  3. Avoiding the social evil and vices.
  4. Avoiding neglect in our interests and duty toward the moral uplift of the children.

In avoiding quarrel, the following effective steps should be applied:

  1. When one gets angry, the other must be calm.
  2. When the afflicted one has the wrong understanding of the matter, the other must submit her or his explanation in a tactful and calmly manner.
  3. If the afflicted one is right for what he or she complains, he or she should be comforted then an apology may follow.
  4. If one refuses to hear for an explanation, the other must necessarily leave farther to avoid altercations.


If ever the wife had committed something wrong of only a slight nature, she should not be conselled nor spanked in a public place but the adjustment of the case must be done in a secret room that neither the children nor the neighbors could witness the matter. Cruelty both to the wife and children is not a good policy in the home. A severe punishment is only applicable when the commission is of a serious nature. No matter what misunderstanding has been made between the husband and wife it ought to be forgotten after all, and reconcillation should follow. Furthermore, the wife should refrain herself from speaking something against her in-laws. And the husband should do likewise.

In the case of handling the children, it also requires tact and ability. Everything that the mother does in teaching obedience and good habits in the home helps to build the formation of character. A child is better in health and spirits, more lively and active because of the mothering she receives. As the child grows, the mother must always aim at setting good examples. Disobedience should never be tolerated and excessive naughtiness must be immediately cut off.

The first thing to be taught to a child is love toward God. Respect and obedience to her parents must be always encouraged. The children should also know the good from the bad. And this can be accompanied by giving paternal advices and examples at the start. In case they had committed wrong, they should be punished only equivalent for what they had done. That is, the punishment should not exceed the offense. And the case should first be investigated before the proper punishment is to be administered. But they must be beaten on the right place and in the proper way with the tendency of making them fear for the punishment. It is not just to express or inflict abusive language upon them but a good warning is even effective in guiding them to reformation. Any bad habit which a child starts should be checked at once. Never wait until she is older before breaking any bad habit. Remember that both good and bad habits grow.

A child is naturally weak both mentally and morally and so he or she must be encouraged rather than discouraged. Always give her a chance to do better and you will find her getting in the right path. To scold a child all the time, is to make him only nervous and "tarantado." If he got mistake, teach him in a fatherly way and he will at once know what is required. Well-bred children should not also be permitted cultivating the habit of begging whenever they see something from other persons. If they need something or if they are hungry, they must be provided for. For the comfort and happiness of his children, the father upon arriving home from office should bring them food to eat. This is one way of instilling their fondness to their father. The mother should also do the same thing whenever she comes home from the market. The children should also be taken to the "cines" once in a while in order to have some amusements and happy times.

When the child is already five years old, she should be given education on the alphabets by the mother. When six years, they must be brought up in a public school to make then get along in their aspirations. Upon retiring at night, they should be investigated as to whether or not thy know their lessons. They must understand that time and money are being spent for their general welfare and that they must study earnestly while still in their prime of youth.


THE FAMILY BUDGET

In order to meet any arising circumstances and to have a reserved fund for old age, the best and only practicable thing to do is to save and invest properly. The only means of saving is by having a bank account. And to invest in the proper way, see to it that the article to be bought is a necessity in the home and that we cannot do without it. Extra expenses must be cut-off except those for the sole improvement of our health and good standing in the community. Above all, debts are to be absolutely avoided unless it is very necessary. Our motto would be, "Earn before we spend" and not, "Spend before we earn." That is, the expenditures should never exceed the family income. We should always cultivate the habit of economy and wise saving. Not of course economy for selfishness but economy for the progress of our financial status. We should never sacrifice selfishnss for economy so as to hold the admiration of our fellow beings. We must always keep our goodwill in the community. There are times also when we have to spend a great deal for the improvement of our social standard. That is, by celebrating our patron saint, holding birthday parties, baptisms and Christmas gatherings. And in order to live up with all of these, a family budget system should be adopted varying with the existing condition and the family income. Hence the following bi-monthly budget effective January 1st and amended April 1, 1933 should be strictly complied with:

BI-MONTHLY FAMILY BUDGET

Fixed:
P.S.B. AccountP3.00
P.T. Co. Account 2.00
Adeling's Account 0.50
Feleng's Account 0.50
House Rent 2.00
Current:
Rice (6 gantas @P0.17) 1.02
Fish @P0.10 per meal 4.50
Office Meals 1.50
Laundry Service 2.00
Laundry Supplies 0.20
Fuel (2 bundles) 0.38
Light (2 bottles) 0.20
Barber 0.20
Pig's Foodstuff 0.10
Bi-monthly Salary P18.00

The foregoing family budget is subject to change any time in accordance with the local conditions and the size of the family. For educational expenditures in the future, each child must have his or her own savings box.

And every pay day, each child should be given her share of P0.50 to be deposited in the savings box kept by the mother. All Christmas gifts in the form of money should also go to the child educational fund accordingly as stipulated above. In addition, the clothes washed by the mother will be paid for and be kept in a separate box for that purpose. This is treated as additional income of the family which is saved rather than expended. Out of this, the mother from time to time may purchase clothes for the family and for other purpose. Aside from this, in order to have some amusements and good time, we should attend the cines at least once or twice a month or when the performance is worth attending.

Then when a sufficient amount of deposits has already accumulated in banks as time permits, the first thing to be acquired for is a home of our own. Paying a rent for a room as the case in the city is entirely a financial loss and can never be an asset. Such practice should be eliminated if possible. The new home, though how simple and small it is, should be in good order to win the admiration of our visitors. That is, it should contain interesting pictures of arts and movie stars on the walls preferably of the latest types. And the cup-board must also be provided with enough preserves and canned goods, to avoid embarrasment from unexpected visitors.

Besides the family income, other means to aid or increase the financial status of the home can also be employed if possible. Such as:

  • Engaging in private business.
  • Opening a store of the family.
  • Acting as a lavandera.
  • Cultivating a land bearing fruits, vegetables and crops.
  • Possessing a house for rent in the case of city life.
  • Poultry business.


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