I see my brother now in a setting like this; peaceful and with lots of the flowers he so loved.
I have been receiving reports on his condition during this period of time and the last one I received said that, sadly, the disease was still progressing but his physical health was excellent. He had always taken very good care of himself and was in great physical shape. The report of his death said that it was very sudden and unexpected. I pray that he didn't suffer for even one second.
As I sit here this afternoon, I remember all sorts of things about him from when I was a little girl and even into adulthood. Because he was so much older than I (10-1/2 years), he was always there for me, to soothe me, comfort me, and just to make me happy. I remember he always called me "Stinks." My mother told me that from the moment she brought me home from the hospital, he put his arms out and said, "Let me have Stinks." I remember that name stuck until long after I was grown and married. I remember being told that the first word I ever said was "Eddie". I remember when I was 8 years old and he was leaving for Air Force boot camp, I cried all the way to the train station and all the way home. I remember when I woke up crying one night with a tooth ache and he came into my room to see what was wrong. He got me some aspirin, sat on my bed, and talked to me until I went back to sleep. I remember when it was time for our parents' 25th wedding anniversary, and he took me into Boston with him (a really big deal for a ten-year old). He "let" me help him pick out a Sterling Silver Tea Set as a gift for them. Then he took me to the doll department and bought me a ballerina doll that I still have. I am going to find that doll which is packed away and put it on display in his honor. I remember when he was in the Air Force and stationed in the Phillipines; he called home on a holiday and asked to speak with me. I was so happy to hear his voice that I cried and couldn't talk. I remember being asked to be Godmother to two of his three daughters, what an honor that was. I remember his very dry sense of humor, his excellent vocabulary, and quick wit. I remember how he loved to read and to debate current events and sports. I remember so many things about him. But most of all I remember I loved him more that he would ever know in his lifetime. I remember, oh God, how I remember.
Perhaps it's best that I didn't see him in the final stages of that awful disease. I was told he would look at pictures of us and ask, "Who are those people?" If I had seen him and he didn't know me I think I would have been devastated. I was also told that near the end he didn't even know his own name. I do wish that I had known when he died, however. I would love to have seen him one last time and to have been able to say a prayer for him at that time. I am going to attempt to find out when he died and where the burial site is so I can secretly visit him to say a final good bye. I am saying prayers for him now. I know that he is finally himself again and at peace in a wonderous place. And I have no doubt that he is already having those debates he so loved with even the highest of God's angels. He has rejoined our parents and I know they are happy to see his suffering over. I also pray that he knows how very much I have always loved him and what he meant to me as a brother. I will continue to love him for as long as I live.
God bless and keep you Eddie; you are with the angels now.
The Archangel Michael used with permission of Angelicartistry
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