Newsletter by Date
Revisions in the Works:
I have just completed the revision of the Titus 2 Birthing cbe curriculum. I expanded the VBAC information to include some information in Henci Goer's new book: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, and expanded the vaccine info to include the refusal form and a comprehensive list of resources for those couples who want to do more research before deciding the issue. Other revisions included adding more filled in information in those areas that couples indicated they wanted to see in print instead of having to fill in. This almost halved the information they could write in during the class series.
All books that you order from here on out will include the newer form. There are 3 books left in the old format for someone interested in a discount of the $15 cost per book.
The teacher's guide is also being revised. It will no longer be in bound form, but provided in a 3-ring binder. This will make it easier for you to add/ change pages as the material is revised. It will remain color-coded to match the workbooks.
The Labor Support material is also being revised. The revision should be out by the end of Feb. so that I can use it for our Mar/April workshop.
We have also done some revision to the web page. There is now a registration form for the Labor Support workshops and a current schedule of training dates and locations. I will be adding a registration form for the CBE program in the near future.
Training Dates:
The Prayer Battle for Birth
I recently provided labor support for a young couple who were referred to my by a sister midwife. The young woman was still in her teens and the young man was in his early 20's. They have overcome many hardships during their short relationship, and I was honored to be a part of this birth. It was an unusual birth in some ways, and re-emphasized to me the notion that some births are won more in the prayer closet than the labor room!
K's family is strongly Christian, and recommended that she seek a Christian birth professional for this birth. K's mom works for a local Christian psychiatrist who specializes in working with abuse survivors. We discussed some of the abuse in K's past at the interview, but there were some things they weren't quite ready to share until the day of the birth.
The day before the birth, I got a call from K & L to tell me that her water had broken, but she was planning to stay home for a while. We worked for several hours on walking, talking through her options, and just getting through early labor that night. The next morning, we went in to the hospital for the delivery.
One of the first things K's dad did after we arrived was to pull everyone in the family together to pray for K, L, the baby, me, and the staff who would help deliver the baby. His prayer emphasized the faith they all had that God would direct this birth and that He would care for and protect us during this time. It set a wonderful precedent for this labor.
Several hours later, with little progress, K's mom finally pulled me aside to discuss an issue she now felt had to be covered: K had multiple personality disorder (MPD) and DID, a dissociative method of dealing with overwhelming crisis. Lots of things made sense now, although I had had suspicions of this before since I have an adopted daughter with the same problems from the same kind of abuse.
Scar tissue from K's abuse at 4 years was impeding the cervix dilation, but it was not the primary concern. What was of utmost concern was her expressed desire at one point to "escape" from the process, which could have caused us to have to deal with an alternate personality, or to not be able to get her to respond at all. We talked about the situation and I explained what was causing the discomfort (a stenoic cervix) and why it was probably there. Once she seemed to grasp the fact that escape wasn't an option, and we got her something to deal with the pain, I left her with L and went to find her family. I stressed to them the urgency of prayer and what I felt we specifically needed to pray for. I also obtained permission to call our prayer chain and another midwife for additional support and prayer.
Shortly after renewed prayer, things began to change. The attitude of the staff changed. The room availability problem resolved (we had been stuck in triage for hours waiting on a room). K was able to better deal with the whole labor situation and was also able to get some sleep, aided by the medication she received. A Christian anesthesiologist arrived to place a much-needed epidural and provided support, concern, faith, and humor. K finally began to progress in dilation and saw that the staff believed that she would in fact birth this baby vaginally. K was also able to push fear and abuse issues out of the way to concentrate on the birth of her son.
I am pleased to report that K & L have a lovely son who popped out with a minimal amount of pushing. He was perfect, having suffered no ill effects from the destructive lifestyle his parents had been living at his conception. K was able to easily and successfully breastfeed him within a few minutes of birth. The whole family is doing well, and K & L are now planning a wedding for the spring. K is much stronger and much more confident that she will recover and live a beautiful life as a King's Kid with a wonderful, godly husband who proved himself able to lead and serve his family.
This birth was won in the prayer closet. There were many factors that could have ambushed this birth, and quite a few of those factors surfaced. There were many people who prayed this birth through, and kept praying for much of the process.
K, L, and their family believe strongly that prayer, faith, and Christian support gave them the best possible birth. They are looking forward to a home birth of several kids in their future, now that the hardest birth is won. I look forward to attending the wedding, the future births, and watching this couple grow in the love and admonition of the Lord. This couple has come a long way and they are much stronger spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically for their journey.
Alternative Medicine and Birth
A recent article grabbed my attention regarding alternative medicine and midwife-attended births. It was especially intriguing because I have been heavily involved in studying several of these alternative options for the last several years and have been known to provide information to clients.
Here's the article, and my comments and the Titus 2 perspective follows:
The official Titus 2 policy on the use of any form of alternative medicine is that we do not certify your ability or competency if you use them. If you use some form of alternative therapy, we want you to provide documentation for your file regarding your competency and training. This may include a list of workshops you have attended, verification of competency from a licensed practitioner, or something similar. (This is the same type of documentation we require for use of any clinical skills.)
I will admit that I use several of the listed forms of alternative medicine. I also have accumulated a considerable number of training hours for those forms that I use. These hours are documented in my file and can be verified by a local educational group which provides much of my midwifery training.
Why the issue? In this sue-happy world, it is prudent to document your ability to provide anything beyond basic emotional and physical support. It's prudent for the T2 program not to certify your ability to use any method for which we don't provide training or competency documentation. It's prudent for you to insure that you get appropriate training for anything that carries a risk factor to the mom, baby, your ability to work, and the certifying agency which provides your credentials.
And lastly, the official policy regarding spiritual healing and mind-body interventions! If it isn't supported in the Bible, don't! The only spiritual healing I want to see or hear about is the use of prayer, and possibly biblical counseling if you have the training. As far as mind-body interventions, biblical meditation is fine, but the other stuff is out. If you aren't sure what you mean by those terms is acceptable or not, ask. I can assure you I have an opinion!
An Opportunity!!
The Association of Texas Midwives (ATM) 2000 Conference is May 4-6 in Arlington (D/FW), Texas. The keynote speaker will be Henci Goer, author of Obstetric Myths Vs Research Realities and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. The conference is open to any interested birth professional or lay person.
As a member of the planning committee for this conference, I can tell you the conference list of speakers and workshops is top notch. Henci will be speaking all day Thursday, and much of her presentation will be geared towards doulas, OB nurses, CBEs, as well as midwives.
Cost for this conference is being kept low to encourage many to attend. The Thursday session is $45 for all day, and the Friday and Saturday conference days are $100 for ATM members and $160 for non-ATM members. A registration form for the Thursday session is up on the T2 web site, and I will do a form for the conference as soon as all of the schedule and such is worked out.
Please plan to attend if you can. There will be a time of fellowship for Christian birth professionals. We expect to see quite a number of our friends there. I will also be sharing my table with Debra Evans and Shonda Parker by including their books for sale. Both of these ladies have expressed an intent to come, so I am hoping that our fellowship time will be blessed by their presence.
If you need additional information about the conference, feel free to contact me.
Capturing the Vision
If I had a dollar for everyone in my past whom I have ever intimidated, overwhelmed, or caused to panic because of the work I do, the way I do it, what I am willing to take on, or the depth of knowledge I had about a given subject, I would be a wealthy woman. That's not pride! That's fact. I know it's true because I get told that frequently.
Most of us have something about which we are passionate. It's also common to catch someone else's vision for something, decide it's neat and want to get involved. Sometimes we get involved too quickly, too deeply, or amiss, and back out in a hurry because we suddenly realize it's overwhelming.
The problem is often that the vision is great and wonderful, but it's not YOUR vision. We get lost in trying to carry someone else's vision instead of our own. Or worse, we get lost in trying to be that person and do all or a large part of what they are doing and realize we can't. The awesome thing is: THAT'S OK!!
Take your faith. You have a relationship with God that's yours. It may be all God wants it to be, or not, but it is your relationship. Each of us has a unique relationship because God deals with us uniquely. God takes us with all our good points, bad points, neutral points, past, present, future, and everything else that makes us an individual and designs a relationship unique for each person. I can't wear your relationship; I can only wear mine.
A life vision is the same way; what God gives each person is uniquely theirs. That means I can't walk in your path and you can't walk in mine. Or, as a dear friend and sister put it, "I need to quit trying to be Kathy and just be me." Fortunately, there is only one of me, and God did not call any one else to walk the same path He directed for me.
That doesn't mean we can't share parts of the vision or parts of the load. It does mean we must each carry our own share of the unique path because it's hard on someone else to carry our share. It doesn't mean we can't work together on similar projects. It does mean I can't expect someone else to do things just like me or to see things exactly like I see them and feel called to do.
The good news is: God has a unique ministry for you and will provide you a vision. He often sends others to come along side to help you fulfill the ministry He has placed you in. The bad news is: You can't refuse the vision and expect it to get done. You can't carry someone else's load and expect it to work. You can't be that other person, BUT, you can be the best you God called you to be.
And Finally:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Special Thanks
A hearty thanks goes to the many of you who prayed for our family recently as we added 2 small infants to our home during the week of Valentine's. Kaleb will be here another 5 weeks or so before he can join his mom and dad. Teddy, Kaleb's dad, has been over quite a bit to spend time with his son and we encourage you to continue to pray for he and Kelly.
Isis' mother has abandoned her to our care and we have been offered the opportunity to adopt her. We intend to do so and have begun the process. The first order of business being to change her name to a more godly choice. We have chosen to name her Risa Joy and are enjoying our small daughter. None of the withdrawal symptoms she experienced from her mother's crack habit were severe; a testimony to the hundreds of people praying for her, the moms who donated breastmilk for her, and lots of kangacare. Our doctor has declared her normal, and although we know to watch for certain long-term possibilities, we do not expect these to manifest.
We covet your continued prayers as we work to pull together the necessary finances for the adoption and manage the logistics of a newborn in a hectic schedule. Thankfully, most of my responsibilities are such that I can carry Risa with me, and we are thankful for the numerous offers to assist with childcare and family tasks. We are also grateful for the donation of clothing, blankets, breastmilk, and formula.
Reflections on Social Responsibilities
When I called to tell my parents that we were going to adopt Risa, they had many concerns. Babies born to crack-addicted moms often have numerous physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems that are testimony to the sins of the parent being visited upon the child. They also have a difficult time understanding why we feel the need. now and in the past, to become parents to the children of others. As I mulled over their questions, I felt a need to address some of them in this column.
My parents may not understand why we feel it's our responsibility to care for someone else's child, but I can affirm to you that I learned it in their home. I learned that children have a right to be wanted and loved! I learned that you do what you can to meet a need and trust God for what you don't have resources to meet. I learned that families are the building block of society and children need a stable home. I learned that two parents who love God can make a difference in the lives of their children and influence them to live godly lives. I even learned that God can provide surrogate or adoptive parents when the relationship between a parent and child is too stressed for real communication and acceptance to ring through.
No, God may not have called us to take on every child we know who needs a home and family, but He has sent us more than a few and will continue to do so I am sure. I am grateful that He has not limited our family to the number of children I could physically give birth to. We are blessed by their presence and their lives.
Of "Mommytors" and Monitors
Risa is not the first child in our home who ever needed monitoring during sleep. We have had three other children who experienced episodes of apnea, irregular heart beats, and asthma and allergic reactions that could have resulted in SIDS. A sleep monitor was not always an option for those children, and we learned to carefully monitor the child's problem. Perhaps the most effective way was the "Mommytor.
Mommytors differ from monitors in that they have no mechanical parts to malfunction, no electric or battery supply needed, and care more deeply for the child than a machine. Occasionally subject to false-alarms, Mommytors are not fool-proof, but can be trained to respond appropriately to real emergencies.
What I am referring to, of course, is kangaroo care and co-sleeping with a child. For experience I can assure you that moms who are not chemically impaired or so utterly exhausted they can't function can and will become alerted to a child who stops breathing during sleep, assist a baby to regulate body temperature, breathing and heart-rate by skin-to-skin contact, and can learn to exercise life-saving techniques where needed.
Studies on kangaroo care with preemies have demonstrated that these babies grow faster, gain weight better, and learn to regulate body systems faster than babies who are machine monitored. So why not teach moms who have babies with problems to kanga-carry them? Why not enlist the assistance of other family members to provide alternate kanga-care to give the parents a break so we don't exhaust them?
I am not willing to say all apnea monitoring is bad, and I am certainly not willing to see short-staffed hospital NICU units turn off monitors on babies who can't or aren't being kanga-carried. However, I am willing to go on the record to say that machines are a poor substitute for personal care, whether EFM in the labor room or apnea monitors on babies.
Birth and Death: Through a Child's Eyes
The following essay was posted on the Fensende Childbirth Educator list in November. I asked the author if I had permission to reprint it in one of our newsletters and/or the Titus 2 Birth curriculums and she gave it. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. If you want to respond to the author, you may contact her at email - lizfeld@uic.edu.
When our daughter Hannah was not quite three years old, she participated in the birth of her younger sister, Leah, in our bedroom, the same room into which she had been born. She gently placed washcloths on my head, helped bring up the bassinet from the basement, spent time in the kitchen with her Aunt Julie baking a cake for the baby, and held Leah within minutes after she was born. When Hannah was almost five, she was present during the final days and the death of her grandfather, in the den, which became his room during his dying days. She put a washcloth on his head, helped to smooth his sheets, brought her crayons in and colored pictures sitting by his side, and touched his body after he died.
Hannah is now ten years old, and her reminiscences about these events are neither profound nor startling -- they are, in fact, entirely ordinary. She remembers the strawberries on the cake, and how Julie had to come upstairs and ask me where the flour was, in the middle of noisy, hard contractions. She remembers how she ran to get her favorite doll right after Leah came out, and how Doctor Fred pretended to tie off her doll's umbilical cord just as he had done to Leah's. She saw the baby go directly into my arms for nursing at the breast. And she remembers how we were building our sukkah, the temporary shelter for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, just outside the window of Grandpa Albert's room, and how pale and sleepy he was. She perhaps recalls that my dad, who hadn't been eating at the nursing home, eagerly polished off a bowl of my mother-in-law's chicken soup with matza balls on that Friday night we first brought him home, and how he roused from his drowsy state to join us in the Hebrew blessing over the challah to mark what would be his last Sabbath. She observed me sitting at my father's side, holding his hand, humming a song while I nursed a sleepy toddler.
Hannah's memories are of events that seemed to her to be a normal part of our family's life, and she found nothing unusual about them. But of course, in modern American culture, it is not at all usual for a child to be so close to birth and death, to experience them so intimately. These days, birth and death are more often experienced at a distance, removed from the confines of people's homes and placed within the sterile walls of a hospital. Or they are not experienced at all, but simply occur elsewhere while children and other family members wait at home. What might otherwise be formative events in children's lives are lost, and the adults that these children become are unable to draw on these memories. We physicians have contributed, perhaps unwittingly, to the depersonalization of these deeply personal and primal moments. I see so many adults who bear the wounds of having been taken away from intense emotional family events, under the guise of being protected or sheltered from grief. What they tell me is that having been left out, not having had their questions answered or guilty feelings addressed, leaves wounds that have not and may never fully heal.
My daughter now carries with her an intimate, visceral familiarity with the ebb and flow of the birth and death processes. During my dad's last days Hannah asked how we would know that he was dead, since he appeared to be sleeping so much of the time anyway. On the day he died, when she came back from nursery school she asked to go into the room and see his body. For all of our talk of souls or spirits going to be with God, I think she was most interested in seeing how we could tell he was really dead. Although cautious, she did not appear unduly frightened as she reached out and touched his arm, looking closely at his face in order to truly know that he was no longer breathing. In a similar way, from the safety of her daddy's arms she had pointed toward the crowning, emerging head of her little sister as I grunted and moaned, commenting matter-of-factly, "That's the baby's head." Later that day she drew a picture of a baby with what looked like shoes near the bottom. When questioned about the shoes she replied, with a trace of disdain at the adult who had missed the obvious, "That's not a shoe, that's the placenta. And over here is the umbilical cord."
For my daughter, birth seems to have been perceived as an emotionally intense, special event; the painful moments appeared normal, not frightening or insurmountable. Death, while similarly intense and profoundly sad for all of us, was neither scary nor mysterious. Hannah will recall that during both times there were many friends and family who were there to support us - -- the community members who brought us food and who provided a circle of birthing support and energy, my brother and sister-in-law who maintained the vigil at my dad's bedside, my dad's brother and sister who came to say goodbye, and all the close family suspending their outside obligations during both events in order to be present in our home. Hannah will remember how, during the first breaths of a new life and the last breaths of a dying father, we were surrounded in our home by love, by support, by caring.
I can draw no definite conclusions about the impact of these experiences on Hannah's psyche or her own future life choices. It is certainly possible that sometime during adolescence she will view any of this body stuff, especially the birthing details, as "totally gross, eeeww, yucky." The inevitable rebellion against her "hippie" parents could even lead her to a highly technical, hospital birth, perhaps with epidural anesthesia, or with formula feeding to follow! But it is my hope that somewhere within the recesses of her consciousness she will forever understand the very ordinariness of birth and death, trusting the process itself. At the same time, she hopefully will hold and cherish the spectacular and special qualities of these experiences.
As a family physician, I feel that the next generation needs many more people who will feel safe and comfortable accompanying a friend or relative through the challenges of childbirth, relying on professionals to safeguard the woman and baby but not to interfere with the integrity of the process. Similarly, people all over are beginning to cry out for those who will accompany them or their loved ones "through the valley of the shadow of death," once again trusting the process, offering comfort and palliation without undue interference.
It is my hope that Hannah's experiences in our home will enable her to become this kind of person. And I believe that other children, and other families, can benefit from these kinds of experiences. For while there are certainly many situations in which home birth or home death would not be appropriate, they are potentially empowering for individuals, family, friends and community. As such they should be offered as options, with health care professionals supporting and safeguarding them, as we should support other options that enable families to be more intimately involved in the birth and death process, such as alternative birthing centers and hospice programs, as well as changes in hospital routines that might make possible further inclusion of family members in these pivotal moments.
For our family, the experiences of home birth and home death have offered us a sense of wholeness, of life coming full circle, of safety and love within the walls of our dwelling. My younger daughter, Leah, while not being able to recall the events directly (certainly not her very own birth!) clearly knows the family lore, sees the pictures and watches the videotapes of her first moments, and even views the footage which includes my ailing father at home with us. Hannah has been present at and remembers these moments. My husband, and I made the choice to have our babies at home and bring my father home to die, and I know that we will feel comfortable supporting other family members in making these kinds of choices, helping them to give birth at home and to live out their last days at home, if they choose to do so.
And I hope that I, just as when giving birth, will be able to die surrounded by friends and family taking care of me in my own home, giving myself over to and trusting the ongoing flow of the tide.
Elizabeth Feldman, M.D.; UIC/Ravenswood Family Practice Residency; Chicago, Illinois
Printed in The Journal of the American Board of Family Practice, July/August, 1999
Current Events:
Don't miss the Association of Texas Midwives conference May 4-6. Henci Goer is the keynote speaker. The conference theme is: Midwifery: A Tradition of Excellence. The conference will be held in Arlington, TX (Dallas/Ft Worth). There are a variety of workshops open. If you want additional information, a registration form, etc., you can contact me or contact ATM conference headquarters at: Familyb1@juno.com
Labor Support Training:
- Mar 31-Apr 1 in Ft Worth has been canceled due to baby responsibilities. Participants for the March date can attend the August date.
- May 18-20 in So. Cal. mailto:Lrn2Birth@aol.com
- Aug. 11-12 in Ft Worth mailto:Titus2@flash.net
Titus 2 Birthing CBE Intensive: (You must have completed at least 5 of the 9 correspondence modules to attend)
And Finally:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Lord Jesus Christ, You are the journey, the journey's end, the journey's beginning. - Dean Mayne, Former Dean of Westminister Abbey
THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD - A PROMISE FULFILLED
Most of you are aware that our lives have been enriched by the blessing of a daughter, who will be not quite 3 months old on Mother's Day. Risa Joy, who's name means Laughter (Latin) and Joy, has truly brought laughter and joy to our lives. My heart sings as we lay on the bed playing together and her laughter peals out, accompanied by her lopsided smile and coos. My day is lighter because she accompanies me most of the places I go and many ask me about her so I can tell them how God has richly blessed our life with a daughter He supplied.
As I look forward to Mother's Day, I count many of the miracles God has done to bring her into our lives:
As I work with expectant parents I have a new faith and hope to share. I can recount the ways that God provides for our needs. I can assure moms that God never gives us more than we can handle. I can relay the He fulfills His promises and His Word and we can trust that He will continue to do so. I can encourage them to see their child as a blessing from God and this child as His reward. I can affirm that God works ALL things together for our good, and for the good of our children. I have a new appreciation for the scripture that tells me that I am adopted into His family, grafted into the Vine, a child of promise who is a joint heir to all of the promises in His Word. I can affirm the value of dedicating a child to Lord and affirming that I have received her from Him and recognizing my responsibility to raise her in the love and admonition of the Lord. I can rejoice in the family of God who walk with us and share the joy and responsibility of raising her and providing her a firm foundation of faith on which to build her life.
I am grateful that God keeps His promises. He never forgets when He makes one and never fails to bring it to pass. We don't always understand how He will bring things to pass, and most of time are quite surprised by the ways He does. I'm humbled that He would choose our home for our bundle of laughter and joy and honored that we will get to watch her grow up. I'm also grateful that He never let us bring an Ishmael into our home when we grew weary of waiting for the child of promise.
As a mother, I want to be like Jesus' mother, Mary. I want to ponder all these things in my heart. I want to put them all down so that I have a record for her to know about all the miracles God has done to bring her about. I want her to grow up knowing that she is special to God, although not Messiah, but special enough that Messiah would go to a cross for her so that she would never be separated from her Loving Father God.
And, I want to affirm to my other children that they, too, are still special in my heart and life. As my boys grow close to that time when they will leave to be on their own, I want to remind them that God will still be faithful to meet their needs. I want them to remember that God will never leave them or forsake them and He will be there to guide and protect them. I hope they have developed a relationship with Him strong enough to carry them thru the rough places. I want them to remember that I will always be their mother and will always be concerned about where they are and what they are doing and that they should call home sometimes and just let mom know they are fine. I want them to feel like I will still be there to listen and pray, even when we don't live in the same house anymore. I want them to know that I still pray that God will bring them the perfect helpmate and bless them with many arrows for their quivers.
What a blessing and a privilege to be a parent!! What an awesome responsibility! What a mighty God we serve!!!! Selah!
STRUGGLING AGAINST POOR SOIL
A variety of posts come across my computer. One of the lists I belong to, one for pastor's wives and women in the ministry, told about a commercial one of the members heard about a man who owned a fine vineyard. He was explaining to the narrator why he chose a certain place for his vineyard. What caught her attention, and later mine, was this comment: "I chose this place because the soil is so poor. When you plant a vine, the soil must be poor so that the vine will struggle against it. This builds character and makes the grapes into the fine fruit we need with body and robust character to make our fine wine..."
She wrote: "Here is another of God's amazing truths from nature. When times are poor and we struggle against them, we are tempted to wonder where God is. Yet the great Vinedresser knows just what He is doing. He knows that we are right where we need to be to produce fruit with character that will bring new wine to a thirsty world."
God may lead us to families that need our service because their soil is poor. Single moms, inmate moms, couples with marriage and family problems, nonbelievers, unplanned pregnancies, babies who die, and the list goes on of those God may send our way. It's important that our soil be properly nourished or we can't do our best in helping to pour water and food into their lives as we minister during a pregnancy. If we have nothing extra to give out, we threaten to starve us both in the process.
It's also important for us to remember that God may use these times to strengthen our walk. If I have to admit I am too weak to carry it alone, I am more willing to reach for help and ask for strength.
I bought a book for a friend's birthday because we both share a love for the writing of Barbara Johnson, "the Geranium Lady." Barbara's new book, "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends" has some wonderful things to say to women regardless of where they are in their life's walk. Here is a list of God's positive answers she shared for all the negative things we say about ourselves. (pp. 53-54)
- You say, "It's impossible." God says, "All things are possible." (Lk 18:27)
- You say, "I'm too tired." God says, "I will give you rest." (Mat 11:28-30)
- You say, "Nobody really loves me." God says, "I love you." (Jn 3:16 34)
- You say, "I can't go on." God says, "My grace is sufficient." (2 Cor 12:9, Ps 91:15)
- You say, "I can't figure things out." God says, "I will direct your steps." (Prov 3:5-6)
- You say, "I can't do it." God says, "You can do all things." (Phil 4:13)
- You say, "I'm not able." God says, "I am able." (2 Cor 9:8)
- You say, "It's not worth it." God says, "It will be worth it all." (Rom 8:28)
- You say, "I can't forgive myself." God says, "I forgive you!" (1 Jn 1:9, Rom 8:1)
- You say, "I can't manage." God says, "I will supply all your needs." (Phil 4:19)
- You say, "I'm afraid." God says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear." (I Tim 1:7)
- You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated." God says, "Cast all your cares on me." (I Pet 5:7)
- You say, "I feel so alone." God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Heb 13:5)
As I work with expectant parents, regardless of their circumstances, I can't meet all their needs, but He can! I can't be all the things they need, but He can! I can't provide all the answers, but He can! Perhaps the best I can do is to be the best "Jesus with skin on" I can be for the season I have been called to be a part of their life. To do that, may I always remember to keep my relationship with Him alive and well so that my soul is fed and watered, my foundation strong, and my cup full enough to pour out to others.
Another tidbit from Barbara's book, "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends." (p 152) I found it to be good advice for much of what we do as birth professionals.
Priceless Gifts to Give for Free
WORKSHOP NEWS
The Southern California Titus 2 Birthing labor support workshop has been postponed. We do not have a new date, but will post it when we do. Thanks to both Lori's who worked hard to schedule and coordinate the effort.
Titus 2 Birthing Labor Support workshop in Ft Worth is Aug. 11 & 12. The registration form is on our web site (http://geocities.datacellar.net/titus2birthing) as are details about the workshop. Register early to take advantage of early bird discounts.
Titus 2 Birthing Intensive for the CCCE program has been postponed due to a variety of reasons, including several new applicants who need to get their workshop in this summer. The new dates are Aug. 16-19 so that we can get them in before the summer ends. Applicants must have completed at least 4 of the module question sheets to attend. If you have questions, feel free to call or email me.
BOOK REVIEW: "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends"
Nope, it's not a book about childbirth! It is a book about finding joy in whatever stage of life you are in. It's a book that affirms that God sees, knows, provides and blesses us in every season of life.
Barbara Johnson is one of my favorite authors and I own almost everything she has every written. Her books have brought joy, laughter, peace, contentment, and revelation to my life over the years. This book was no exception. It looks at stages of a woman's life: from motherhood to the older years. I can relate to much of what she says in the Pampers stage because of Risa. I can relate to the joys of raising older kids and teens. I can relate to what she says about married living and even to what she says about creeping towards menopause.
Sometimes you just have to read a book that's fun and uplifting. If it's the only one you read this year, it will be time well spent. If you are looking for a book to encourage another woman going through the ups and downs of life, it will meet the need. If you want a good book to add to the church library, your library, or to bless your women's study group, it's diverse in it's content but profound in it's truth content and will bless many without being preachy or complex.
ATM 2000 CONFERENCE
I just spent the last 3 days at the Assoc. of TX Midwives 2000 Conference. It was my privilege to get to spend time with some wonderfully wise and dedicated women who care about the lives and childbearing experiences of women. There were midwives there, of course, but we also had a large number of doulas and childbirth educators, some labor and delivery nurses, lactation consultants, and general "birth junkies" in various capacities. I'd like to take just a bit of time to share some of this weekend with you.
First, it was my pleasure and privilege to spend time with Henci Goer. We had spent considerable time on the phone over the last 3-4 months, and it was fun to get to spend time together in person. I found her to be a delightful woman; gracious, considerate, intelligent, witty, and down-to-earth. She gave and gave to the women who came. She took considerable time and effort to make sure that she spoke to the needs and concerns of the women there. She came prepared to share and be a part of the conference as more than a presenter, but also as a participant. I was not the only one captivated by her warm heart and woman's spirit.
Henci spoke on a variety of topics: breeches, inductions, medical research, out-of-hospital births, hospital births, CIMS, epidurals, choices in childbirth, and active management in labor. She took a fair amount of this material from her new book, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." However, even if you had read the book, she still presented material that was fresh and new. Perhaps the only downside to her presentations was that we didn't tape them for those of you who couldn't come!
Second, I was pleased with the variety of topics presented. There were topics that were relevant to midwives, of course, but there were very few sessions that were not relevant to non-midwife birth professionals. I did not hear anyone complain about the lack of sessions to attend. I did hear more than one person complain that they were having trouble deciding which session NOT to attend because they wanted to attend more than one session offered in a particular time slot.
Third, I attended Yvonne Lewis' session, "Where's the Toast" on menopause and perimenopause. I bought the book she wrote by the same name, which will probably appear in a later newsletter as a book review. I was pleased to note Yvonne's biblical perspective for her advise. Her information was easy to understand, not trendy in nature, and her presentation was very audience-friendly. As a Naturepath and "Lifestyle Consultant" working for almost a decade with heath and nutrition, she provided some excellent information on how to manage menopause naturally and gracefully.
Fourth, I loved the Prayer and Share session. It was a great blessing to get together with other Christian professionals who share the perspective that what we do is a calling from God. It was truly awesome to hear some of the ways that God has brought various ones to their present work. It was also a precious time to share tears and laughter together as we shared our lives. The session wrapped up as we moved into smaller groups to pray one-for-another. I might add, that this was not a really small group and I know that there were other strongly committed birth professionals in this group who did not attend due to other commitments.
I am grateful to those who assisted in conference planning that this session was not omitted. I believe it was just as important as any other session in the conference. I know there were some who came who confessed to feeling spiritually weak and alone who walked out strengthened and renewed and sure that her sisters were there for support. I hope the fellowship and support in that session will continue to strengthen and bind us together.
Fifth, I enjoyed listening to a number of the midwives sharing stories about their work. It was a wonderful time to see where we have been and to look at where we are going. I pray that this session encouraged those who have not been active in preserving the right of families to choose the kinds of birth and birth professional they want to get involved in the fight. I know several of the sessions caused comments about options that are being lost due to fear-based medicine. I trust that we will be able to take some of the wonderful research that is available and make a sound case for the safety of midwives and out-of-hospital births.
Sixth, I enjoyed getting to meet people I had only chatted with via email or on the phone. It was a great time to share vision, knowledge, hope and life's work. There were a number of people I planned to meet because I knew they were coming. It's always an interesting experience meeting people you've only met through email or phone. People seldom look like what you expect. I think that's one of the neat things about this type of meeting - it brings together all kinds of people.
Seventh, I was blessed by those who came to the sessions I taught. Everyone was gracious, friendly and eager to learn. I'm not sure what I expect those sessions to be, but I was pleased to be asked and glad that several stopped by to thank me for my time and efforts. It was also gratifying to hear several that they had looked forward with great anticipation to a session I was teaching and had all their expectations met.
I was also blessed by those who have taken on the vision of our Titus 2 programs - everything from the doula and cbe certification to the jail programs. I am thankful for the opportunity to share the vision God has given me and thrilled when others are excited enough to come along side and pray or get involved. There were lots of good contacts made and I hope that we will see some of them join our family.
Otherwise, the food was good. The planning was great and I feel the time and effort I spent on this conference was well worth the effort. I wish more of you could have been there.
PRAYER NOTES
I have a few prayer requests for you all.
1. Pray for John and Mandy, a couple here that lost one of their twins almost two weeks ago. Pray also that Cody, the surviving twin continues to grow and get stronger.
2. Pray for Suzanne and Mark who lost baby Samuel one month ago. Bless them for donating all that milk!
3. Pray for the expansion of our jail program. I have met with one of the five commissioners who control our county programs. She has expressed support for the current program and for program expansion and indicated that at least one other commissioner will be very supportive. Marshall Klaus has offered assistance in helping us to make a case and to pilot a study, and the Volunteers of America, who run a federal program for inmate moms and babies, has also offered their assistance.
4. Pray for my efforts to finish the manuscript for Starting an Inmate Pregnancy Program. The more I work, the bigger the task grows. There are a number of people waiting patiently, so I really need to finish.
5. We have some financial needs for the program and for our family. I am prayerfully looking at how to raise a budget that will help fund part of the program expansion and which will take some of the burden off my husband to provide both for our family and for ministry expenses. It has been suggested that we seek ministry partners and that we hold a fund-raiser event. I'm open to suggestions. I do know that ultimately God is our Provider and He will provide the resources for what He calls us to do. We don't have a financial crisis, but I do know that as the program expands, we will see more expenses. We ask you to pray that God provides us with wisdom on what we need to do. We also ask any of you who feel led to partner with the ministry to follow God's leading in whatever way He is directing you, especially in praying for those of us involved in leading and working in this ministry.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Thanks to you all for allowing me a break from newsletters. May and June were very busy months at our house. Some of the times were bittersweet and difficult. Other times were just normal busyness.
Risa went back to her mom's family by order of the state in early June. It was hard to say "Goodbye" and we still miss her.
Our jail program has experienced not a few changes during these last few months. Titus 2 Birthing will be partnering with the Volunteers of America's MINT (Mothers, INfants Together) federal inmate program to expand in some new and exciting ways. We are looking for grants and private donations right now to fund the 8 beds in their 20 bed correction facility that will allow inmate moms to return to confinement with their babies for up to six moths of parenting and bonding time. I add more about this further down in the newsletter.
We lost our small funding for the Titus 2 jail program due to a dispute over the contract which funds the entire chaplaincy program. It's not a lot of money for us, but many thousands of dollars for the chaplaincy program. The dispute is not over the Titus 2 program, and those behind the temporary injunction admit that they are sorry our funding became a casualty in the fight since they want the program to continue and to expand. Hopefully this will be settled soon.
In the meantime, we are without funding for running handouts, assisting financially to families and need and general operating expenses. We have a small cache of handouts for the current prenatal class, but nothing for the new parenting classes. We are praying for God to meet the need as He sees fit. Please join us in agreement that God will send His resources.
GRIEVING A BIRTH
Yesterday afternoon I came home to get some sleep after a birth. Somewhere about the middle of my nap, I got a call from a woman who wanted to interview me about being a doula at her birth. I ask her to give me several more hours to sleep and I would be glad to talk to her, but she didn't call back. That's not a problem for me, but it got me thinking. There are some births that I attend where all I want to do is get some sleep and other births where I don't, can't, and need to process. The birth I attended yesterday was not one of those.
Most of us who have been to very many births at all may have run into this problem. For me, it's generally a birth I need to grieve. It may be a birth where mom or baby have some lingering problems, but more often it's because something about the birth just didn't come out right. It may be that mom and dad were robbed of their birth by an attendant or attendants that didn't care enough about them to guard their experience. It may be a birth where mom was medically assaulted and/or medically battered. It may just be I wasn't sure if I had done all I could have done to help. It may be that circumstances simply necessitated that mom give birth somewhere other than where she wanted or in some other way. Sadly, it may even be a birth were a mom or baby died.
I have observed from myself and from many other birth professionals that the need for this process is more true at the hospital than at birth center or home births, but there is certainly the potential for that to happen regardless of the place, attendant, or circumstances. We talk about this sometimes in childbirth classes when we talk about unexpected outcomes: a cesarean birth, a special needs child, a transport from a home birth, etc. It's not something parents want to talk about much, and it's not something that birth professionals want to talk about much when it comes to our own grieving.
Sometimes our grief is a feeling that we share with the couple, although we may not talk with them about it. We may have bonded tightly enough that their pain is also ours. We grieve because they do, even if we know that we did everything we could do under the circumstances. We understand, as Christians, that God works all things out for our good, but sometimes we are left with that "Why" question that God doesn't seem to answer. We understand their need to talk about it and process it, and sometimes we even have to deel with being the scapegoat when they need someone to blame. We may do everything we can humanly do help them grieve and cope.
We may even ask ourselves if we should bond so tightly with the couple that we experience their grief. I think the answer is "Yes!" We need to work together in such a way that we know what they want. We need to love them enough to pray for them and offer sympathy (or empathy) where appropriate. We need to have built a relationship based on trust and caring. We will also need to have built some healthy boundaries that allow us to be objective about circumstances and to acknowledge that this is their birth, their baby, their family, and not ours and that we can move on when they may not be able to.
Sometimes, our grief is solitary. We know that things went wrong that didn't have to, but the parents are thrilled with their birth. We carry home some concern or knowledge that our action may have contributed to the problem. We wonder the "What if's" of the situation and whether we could have changed things. We may have felt long prior to the birth that the couple's dreams were not based on reality or that their choice of caregiver, place, or companions would lead them to experience an outcome different than the one they desired. Regardless, at least for now, the only griever is us.
So, if we acknowledge that sometimes we grieve a birth, what can we do about?
First, I think we need to acknowledge that sometimes there is need to grieve. Pushing it down and avoiding the emotion will not change it or make the situation go away. Emotions are not right or wrong - they just are! We have the right to grieve even in situations we know we can't change or where we are the only ones doing the grieving.
Secondly, we need to pray and allow God to soothe us with His peace. We can't change the situation, but God can always use it for good. We need to acknowledge that He doesn't have to tell us why things happened as they did, and probably won't. We need to trust His goodness and His wisdom where ours fails.
Thirdly, I believe that we need a safe place to process our feelings. For me, I have several sisters close enough to me that I can call and vent, cry, or seek wisdom and they will be there for me and pray for me. They don't judge me, but they do offer wisdom, experience, and affirmation. For others, it may be shielding the names of the participants and sharing it on a list of other birth professionals or with a local group of professionals. Regardless of the type of sharing, it does need to protect identities and it should be in a place where we feel safe.
Fourth, after grieving, we need to release it. We can't live in the past. We can't minister to others if we are so bogged down in our own grief loop that we are paralyzed. We do need to move beyond the experience when we are ready.
I'm grateful that most of the births I attend don't cause me to grieve. I am also grateful that when there is grief, that I have a Father who comforts me and sisters who hold me up in many ways so I can go on to work with the next family.
THE TEMPTATION TO GIVE UP
Stress can make life difficult. God can use it to bring us to the end of ourselves so that we will reach to Him for strength, direction, help and comfort. It can be cumulative, building over time until we suddenly can't go on any more. It can be sudden when one overwhelming set of consequences just knocks us off our feet.
Earlier this week, cumulative stress struck at my house. Concerns over finances, personal and at the jail; Risa; and program expansion produced about a 12-hour overload. The temptation to quit was strong. Thankfully, God has provided me with a wonderful helpmeet who understands me enough to let me cry, express my feelings and then remind me of what I already know. Here's some of what God reminded me.
One of the more devastating lies from Hell is that we must not be in God's Will or on the right track if we are experiencing a difficult time. If that was true, how to we reconcile Job's testing, Peter and John in jail, Paul and Barabas in jail, believers beaten and killed for the Gospel, and the scores of other examples of the trials and challenges of believers? Trials come to us all and may be much more difficult when we are doing exactly what God called us to do.
God can use adversity to show us that we are headed in the wrong direction. I won't argue that point. What we do have to remember is that the enemy can also bring adversity against us. Our hardest response may be to determine what is God-driven course correction and what is an oppressive attack from the adversary of our faith. Here are some questions and responses to remember when adversity comes:
What God will show you will determine your course. He promises to provide us wisdom if we ask Him. He promises to correct us when we are wrong and give us strength to carry on when we need it.
I'm grateful that God has provided this ministry with some wonderful advisors! I'm also grateful for a husband who is there to give me a hand when I need it.
And, just to make it clear, we're not giving up!
A PROGRESS REPORT FROM THE JAIL
A collaberation with the VOA is opening doors for the ladies at the jail and allowing new opportunities for the families we serve. Working with an organization that has had a mom and baby federal inmate program since 1984 will also help provide resources and encouragement for people interested in beginning a program in their backyard.
The MINT program will open it's doors for county and state offenders to spend part or all of their sentence at a facility that will encourage them to be good parents by providing prenatal and parenting education, job skills training, and life skills. Their current curriculum is not faith-based, although the VOA is a faith-based organization. Their hope is that incorporating Titus 2 curriculum and methods will strengthen their program. The Titus 2 program will benefit from cooparation with a natural organization, an existing facility that is willing to take some of those moms who are spending significant amounts of time in jail during pregnancy and post-partum, and give us a more national exposure. The program will also provide me with a part-time income once funding is located.
Our Texas Gov. George W. Bush passed a faith-based initiative through executive orders. This initiative gives equal footing to faith-based program fulfiling needs for government service. It acknolwedges that faith-based programs work better to meet needs in the community than government beaurocracies. He has promised to issue the same initiate nationally when he wins the White House. (Those wanting a copy of the faith-based initiative can request one.)
Another addition to the jail program and to the MINT programs will be the Sears ParentProject curriculum. The first ParentProject class at the jail will begin this Tuesday. We hope to be able to purchase Home Editions for inmates soon, copies that will be remain at the jail. Until then, we will work with the few reproducable masters in the facilitator's edition and use of the video and activities to teach the concepts.
Assistance with expansion is coming from some wonderful sources. Marshall and Phyllis Klaus have offered their assistance and research. The Sears assisted by providing a copy of the ParentProject. Our national congressman has offered to provide some intense publicity and to help with fund-raising activities. The VOA has offered their resources and their staff assistance. Local jail and county administrators are offering verbal support and will help with the change-over when the new sheriff is elected. A local church has stepped in to help provide some infant clothes for distribution to families in need.
Work on the promised jail progam manual is delayed so that some of the steps in this expansion can be included. I'm hoping that it will make the manual a much more valuable tool for opening new programs.
Thanks for your prayers. We have our work cut out for us.
A REVIEW of THE PARENTPROJECT
I am very impressed with the ParentProject! William and Martha Sears, Joyce and Marvin Warman, Melinda Mahand and Richard Shahan did an excellent job in putting this together. The group activities, question and answer sections, Parent Journal, encouragement and scripture cards, devotions, articles and video segments all work together to encourage parents to be the best they can be and to develop good tools for building a firm family foundation.
There are six regular sessions and two optional sessions. They include: Becoming an Expert on Your Child; Comforting Your Baby Day and Night; Dealing with Discipline; Feeding, Body and Soul; Keeping Your Baby Healthy; Building a Brighter Baby; Hot Topics (handling criticism, setting dads up to succeed, working and parenting, selecting substitute caregivers, and preventing mother burnout); and Toddler Basics (negativity, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, toilet training, agressive behaviors, and separation and stranger anxiety). Activities work with all kinds of learning styles and the facilitator's guide provides excellent instructions on how to begin, organizational ideas, promotional strategies and what resources you will need for each class. Instructions are simple and clear.
Some personal comments:
In the session on Keeping Your Baby Healthy, there is no information promoting vaccinations. Since this is a topic Titus 2 has chosen to address in a manner contrary to Dr. Sear's written position, this was a welcome find. I was prepared to deal with a differing opinion in the curriculum, but I am thrilled I won't have to.
Breastfeeding is stressed as the best option. There are several sessions where it is addressed. There is also information supporting those who bottlefeed. The benefits of breastfeeding are definately presented as stronger. Cue feeding is also presented as the the healthier way to feed your baby. Rules are not rigid and divergent opinions are discuessed, but no specific program is mentioned by name.
Dr. Sears makes an interesting comment about needing to teach your children deal with frustration and not getting what they want. Some of the biggest criticism to attachment parenting is that parents don't tell their children NO. He makes it clear that telling your child No is a definate part of training your child.
I can't find one thing in the whole curriculum that I don't agree with. I could not have found a more compatible program if I had written it. It gets five stars in my book and an unreserved recommendation for those birth professionals looking for an excellent parenting education program for their church, ministry or personal service offering.
WORKSHOP NEWS
Last call for the Titus 2 Birthing Labor Support workshop in Ft Worth Aug. 11 & 12. The registration form is on our web site (http://geocities.datacellar.net/titus2birthing) as are details about the workshop.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
One of the things we try to show clients is love. Sometimes that can be hard when clients aren't lovable due to stressors in their lives. Sometimes it's hard because they are very draining due to co-dependent tendencies. As women with servant's hearts, it's not always easy to decide when the relationship is healthy or toxic.
The following comparison of love and toxic love appeared in the Sarah's Tent Newsletter some time ago. Becca submitted this to pastor's wives and women in the ministry as a way to determine when a relationship might need to be terminated. I think, as birth professionals, we can find some use from her wisdom.
Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship, but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship--it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever--expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim--and cause us to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.
HANGING OUT IN A CAVE
In I Samuel 22, David and about 400 followers were camping out in the cave of Adullam. Adullam means the Place of the Squeeze, and having 400 odd people in a cave would certainly be a squeeze. But if we look at the men who were with David, we see the Bible characterizes these men as: those in distress, in debt or discontented (v. 2).
David and these men were being pursued by Saul who was intent on killing David. Hanging out with David wasn't inclined to increase the prospects of these men, when looking at it from the natural, but God is supernatural and He had anointed David to be king.
David had several options:
1. He could decide he wasn't going to win and things weren't going to get better, and it was time to give up.
We do that sometimes. We get tired of fighting, tired of getting beat up, and so we retreat to our cave and look around. Sometimes we decide that we will stay here a while, so we hang wallpaper, install new carpet, put up pictures and get comfy with our discomfort and give up the fight.
But God doesn't mean for us to hang out in a cave and give up the fight. In Eph 6: 10-18, He outlines our armor and tells us what He expects from us when difficult times come. One of my favorite passages during difficult times is found in this passage: "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to STAND, and having done ALL to STAND. STAND therefore... (v. 13-14a) Three times God tells us to STAND, not hide in a cave.
Caves are okay for a time, but they should not be our final resting place. We need to catch our breath, get a good night sleep and put the armor back on and prepare to stand.
2. He could have decided to get out ahead of God and do his own thing. Instead, he took his family to the king of Moab and left them there under the king's protection while he sought the Lord.
I can't tell you how many times I have gotten out there ahead of God and fallen flat! Sometimes I was even following what He had given me the vision for, but I wasn't waiting for His timing and provision. When I do that, I may make some headway under my own strength, but it will never be enough and sooner or later I will fall on my face and have to admit defeat.
3. He could wait on God's direction before deciding where to go. And God sent the prophet Gad in v. 5 to tell David where to go. Gad told David to go to Judah.
Judah means PRAISE. It can be extremely difficult to praise when things are hard, especially if our companions are also in distress, discontented and in debt! But praise Him, we must. Praise takes our eyes off our circumstances and puts them back on God who can and will deliver us. Praise gives us the heart it takes to go forward when the way is difficult. Sometimes, praise is enough to win the battle as it did when the choir and orchestra went out in front of the army and God delivered them from the enemy without a fight (2 Chron 20: 20-26).
The 400 men who attached themselves to David became David's mighty men of valor. They found a good commander who sought the Lord when he had a decision to make. They attached themselves to a man who wasn't afraid of admitting he made a mistake and took responsibility for his misdeeds. They didn't give up when the going was hard and find a new commander, although I am sure their complaints often made David want to pull out his hair.
As servants of God, we need to attach ourselves to the Commander in Chief of God's army. We need to seek His wisdom when we have a decision to make. We need to be willing to admit our sins and take responsibility for our shortcomings and work to become more like HIm. We need to be loyal and trustworthy to those God has placed in authority over us. In due time, we will come forth to sit with the King in the palace instead of hanging out in a cave.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT!
The following selection hangs on the wall in our choir room at church. It serves as a constant reminder that each and every one of us is important and has a specific function in the Body:
PARENTPROJECT UPDATE
Several have written to ask what I think of the ParentProject by the Sears since we actively began teaching a cycle. We have now completed half of the classes at the jail, and although some of the activities have had to be adapted due to the constraints of the jail (no partners, some activities not allowed), we have managed to complete most things as written.
I continue to be amazed and blessed by how appropriate this program is. The women have enjoyed the activities and we have had some wonderful discussions. Attendance continues to be high and most of those who started with us are completing the course.
I had some concern about the class we did this week on Feeding-Body and Soul. One focus for this class is on breastfeeding and taking time for your baby. For some of these moms facing a significant separation from their babies, breastfeeding is not an option. I wondered if they would get much out of this class. However, I shouldn't have worried. We had a good time discussing feeding needs of babies and older children, what they would do if all their options were open, and how to recoup time once they are able to go home.
I have been able to consistently expand this material to include older children's needs so that my older parents can feel like their needs are being met as well as those who are just starting out. The material is well-written and the Bible studies are thought-provoking. I have especially enjoyed the one comparing babies to aliens.
I can't wait to start a class on the outside. I am hoping this class will benefit many parents who are looking for godly tools.
PRAYER REQUEST
We have hit a small snag in getting the Titus 2 program and the MINT program run by the Volunteers of American open to local and state inmates. Please pray that God will smooth the way, provide some grant money to start moving inmates into the allotted bed, and provide us direction.
PAYPAL AN OPTION FOR TITUS 2 FEES AND DONATIONS
For those of you what want to pay workshop fees, CBE payments, book fees and such electronically, payments can now be made through PayPal. If you want to open a PayPal account of your own, you can get a $5 bonus just for signing up and Titus 2 gets a $5 bonus.
PayPal, a free service of X.com, lets users send and receive money by email. Use PayPal.com to pay workshop fees or module payments for Titus 2 workshops, settle restaurant tabs with colleagues, pay friends for movie tickets, or buy at an online auction - all with the click of a mouse! PayPal charges the money to an existing credit card or bank account. It's faster, safer and easier than mailing a personal check.
As soon as you sign up, confirm your email address and verify a bank account, PayPal will automatically send you $5! Signing up is quick, easy and you can download the money to your bank account at any time. No strings attached. Click on
this link to sign up and see for yourself: <https://secure.paypal.x.com/refer/pal=titus2%40flash.net>
After you sign up, you'll get an email to send to friends and family, and PayPal.com will give you $5 for each friend or family member who signs up. It's that easy!
WORKSHOP RESCHEDULED
Thanks to those who understood the need to reschedule the August doula workshop. Things are more under control now and we have set dates for the workshop as Oct. 20-21. Those who had already registered and paid their fees will get a free copy of The Christian Woman and Health Care sent to them in appreciation. For those who had not yet registered, you can register via email and pay via PayPal if you get your registration in by the cutoff date of Oct. 15.
Please fill out the following info and email it to: mailto:Titus2@flash.net and info will be emailed back to you for PayPal.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Favorite Resources
One of the most expensive items childbirth educators and doulas may purchase are the visual and teaching aids that we use to teach our clients about normal birth and reproduction. The only thing I have spent more money on for individual purchase is my midwifery equipment. Even the stuff I have purchased for my computer was often less expensive than what some companies charge for teaching aids!
That being said, there are ways to decrease the cost of materials and lots of things you can make on your own. Much of this issue of Titus 2 Birth Notes and the next two issues will be dedicated to providing information on where you can get low cost or free items and a description of some things you can make on your own. I will also provide a list of web sites or email addresses for places where I found much needed resources, supply sources and information.
Johnson and Johnson Pediatric Institute
NOTE: I am in no way employed or compensated by J&J or First Moments for this information.
Johnson and Johnson is working with First Moments to provide a quality program for birth professionals called Bonding and Beyond. Although I have not found use for all of the stuff they have sent me, I have found some wonderful materials that I do use.
If you join this program, they will send you one or two Bonding and Beyond packages per month. As new items come out, they send you at least a sample of the program and allow you to purchase more, but their prices are very reasonable! Items I have received include tear-off instruction sheets for parents, magazines, coupons, teaching guides, samples of J&J baby products, a cool birth poster, a video (more about that below) and several table tents on the various kit topics. Topics have included baby baths, infant massage, and the newest one on breastfeeding. They are planning a new kit on skin care for January.
You can order a number of the J&J items directly from J&J for free in small quantities. These include booklets on infant massage, stages of development in the first year of life, post-partum care for moms, and other pediatric topics. Orders for up to 5 booklets per item are free. Booklets are between 14 and 24 pages in length with pictures and well-worded text. Bulk orders are also possible at 50 for $15.
They also have professional self-study monographs that will allow you to earn CEU credit. Monograph topics include Touch in Infancy and Labor, Optimizing Infant Development, Early Emotional Development, and The Role of Early Experience in Infant Development. Individual copies of Touch and Infant Development are free. The other two monographs are 300 page books and cost $15 to order. Birth professionals in the T2 programs can use these to fulfill the CEU annual requirements.
There are also several videos offered through this program and these videos cost $12.50 with shipping. Anyone who has purchased professional videos knows these are bargain basement prices, but they are certainly not bargain basement quality!
I have recommended the Clinical Implications of Touch video before. This 20-minute video talks about the role of doulas in labor, the benefits of infant massage and bonding, and guidelines for infant massage. My only complaint with this video is the primate study in the middle (we always fast-forward through that part because I don't like to see baby monkeys tortured by depriving them of maternal contact). It makes an excellent case for the use of doulas and chronicles the benefits of the doula in a way that makes sense to parents and professionals. The information about infant massage is clear and easy enough, especially with the tear-off sheets, that most parents can feel comfortable about "doing it the right way" and really try it out. It's cost is such that most of us can purchase a copy without dipping too deep into the pocket and replacement cost is low enough that you could probably put a copy in your lending library. There is a second version of this video that is 15 minutes and listed as a Parent's Guide to Touch. I don't have that one, but the promotional information says that its a step-by-step guide to infant massage and the benefits and meaning of touch. For professional use, I find the Clinical Implications video the better buy.
The other video I have been really impressed with is The Amazing Talents of Your Newborn. This video was done in collaboration with Marshall Klaus and does an excellent job of introducing parents to their newborn. When I showed this in class on Tuesday, everyone was glued to the screen, and although there was a little chatter during the video, it was all related to what they were seeing. Breastfeeding is by far the most common feeding technique in this video and presented in a very positive light. This video is for both professional use and for parents and caregivers and runs 30 minutes. I will add that J&J included this video free with the breastfeeding kit (after, of course, I ordered and paid for it prior to receiving the kit, so now I have 2 copies)!
The third video option is Early Infant Care. I haven't purchased that one since I have other resources for this topic, but I feel reasonably sure that it is of the same quality as the others. Topics covered in this video are: caring for infant skin, baby's first bath, and early infant care. J&J may include this video in the skin care kit, so I will probably not buy this until after that one is out, if at all.
The other outstanding purchase I made from J&J is their set of teaching posters. Posters are 18x26, full-color and slick, but not laminated. The five poster set includes:
Cost is $10 for the whole set! The birth poster and the first impressions poster are awesome! Buy a set or two and have them laminated for long-term use.
They have two other posters I didn't buy: "Clinical Implications of Touch Therapy" and "Tactile/Kinesthetic Stimulation Effects on Pre-Term Neonates". I'm sure these posters are great too, but with the video and the massage kit already in hand, I decided not to buy them. These two posters are $2.00 each and can be purchased individually where the others are only available in a set.
At the end of October, in cooperation with Newsweek, J&J sent out an edition of Newsweek magazine dedicated entirely to children birth to age three. This edition is an update of a similar Newsweek issue from 1997. J&J is the only advertiser in this magazine issue. There are some very interesting articles in the magazine on everything from how learning begins to how we raise boys and girls differently. There is also a sticker on the front of the magazine advertising a free baby-planning CD-ROM parents can order. (I ordered the CD-ROM, but don't have it yet.) You can call 1-800-526-3967 to order copies of the magazine for your clients. When I spoke with them about this magazine, they told me that had received a more positive response to this product than any other in the series.
Now, how do you get this stuff? You can call 1-800-645-6306 to enroll in the First Moments Bonding and Beyond program and get some of this stuff for free. You can also go to J&J's web site to download a copy of the order form for the booklets, videos and posters ( http://www.jjpi.com ) or to get more information. You can't order on-line however. You can call J&J if you know what you want to order at 1-877-JNJ-LINK (314-216-3560 for orders outside the US), fax, or mail them the order form.
Some Other Great Resources
Fisher Price has a free Car Seat Safety video I picked up when I registered with the Toys R Us Baby Gift Registry. Yu can probably get one from Babies R Us as well, since they are owned by the same company. The information is good and there are no advertisements in the 13-minute video. It talks about choosing a safety seat that fits your car as well as fitting your baby, how to correctly install the seat, and what to look for in a good seat.
Our local electric company passed out a safety video on baby-proofing your home. Gerber, Nations Bank (now Bank of America), Johnson and Johnson, Albertsons, Huggies and Pampers sponsored this video, along the energy company. The video is about 25 minutes long. It talks about what products work and what don't, as well as going from room to room to point out common hazards. The only advertising is the list of sponsoring groups at the beginning and end of the video and the use of products made by the sponsoring companies. There is no real overt advertising segment touting individual products. Contact your local energy provider first to find a copy. If that fails, you might try contacting some of the sponsors; especially Albertsons who periodically sponsors child safety programs.
Terri Shilling, current president of Lamaze, has put together a box of approximately 100+ index cards with ideas for teaching activities for childbirth classes. Cost is $21.95 + $2.50 s/h. Ideas are grouped by topics and category. I found some great ideas in the box. These cards have been out several years and I understand the stacks continue to grow. You can send her ideas, and if she includes them in future boxes, you can get a free box. You can order this resource at: The Idea Box; Terri Shilling; 2 Elk Creek Dr.; Gunnison, CO 81230
Childbirth.org has a page of freebies for birth professionals at http://www.childbirth.org/articles/free.html There are a wide variety of items available.
As you can see, there are lots of resources to help you be a good steward with your financial resources. Our next issue will include more resources as well as teaching aids you can make. I hope this information helps you be the best birth professional you can be.
Titus 2 Workshop Calendar
Labor Support Workshops for 2001 - Registrations forms are available via on-line.
Feb. 23-24 in Boonville, MO Site: First Baptist Church in Boonville. Participants flying in may arrive via Kansas City, St. Louis, or take a commuter flight to Columbia. Sara Gerling is the contact and she can be reached at 1-573-556-1087 or 1-660-882-2934 or mailto:sdoulagerling79@hotmail.com Cost for this workshop is $200 and includes lunch both days. She is currently working on arrangements to have participants hosted with area families.
Mar. 22-23 in Fort Worth, TX. Registrants may contact me direct to register. There is a $25 discount for registrations received prior to Mar. 1 and fees may be paid through PayPal. This workshop is a weekday workshop (Thurs & Fri) as opposed to a weekend offering! Cost is $150 and does not include lunch for either day.
April 30 is a prospective date for the shorter one-day labor support workshop for those who are already certified by another organization and want Christian certification. If you are interested, let me know. We will need at least 4 registrants to register for this workshop to make. This workshop will be in Fort Worth. Cost is $75 and registrations should be in by April 10.
Other dates may be added at a later date.
Childbirth Education Intensive, 2001 is scheduled for June 27-30 in Forth Worth. Registrants must have completed and turned in at least 5 module worksheets and all registration paperwork.
Order Your Titus 2 Materials by Email and Pay the Same Way
Educators can order T2 CBE workbooks by email and pay from them through PayPal. Just send an email with the quantity desired, mailing address, and when you need to receive them. Workbooks are $20 each.
You can also order The Christian Woman and Health Care books via email and pay the same way. Books are $15 each and include shipping and handling.
All workshop fees, CBE program payments, and membership dues can be made via PayPal. If you have questions, let me know and I'll be glad to help you get set-up.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional information about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.