Kit's Story

     Hi.  My name is Carson Grimm, but you can call me Kit.  I'm in my mid-forties and I am originally from Fort Worth, Texas, where I graduated from Arlington Heights High School in 1968. I received a B.A. from Texas Christian University in 1972 and a Law Degree from the University of Texas at Austin in 1975.

      I am a veteran of the United States Air Force, having been a Judge Advocate at Reese Air Force Base, Lubbock, Texas, from 1975 to 1980.  Since then, I have lived in Odessa, Texas (twice), Wichita Falls, back to Lubbock, and now live in Roswell, New Mexico.

      I grew up attending a large, socially-driven church. I knew who Jesus was and that I had to believe in Him to get to Heaven. I also believed that there were many things I must do and many others I must not do, and that if my final score sheet was good enough, I would go to Heaven. I was pretty happy with that arrangement until I reached adolescence and discovered girls. I soon found myself doing quite a few things that were on the "must not do" list.  Naturally, I became very afraid of going to Hell.

      Then, what I believed to be a wonderful thing happened.  I enrolled at a "Christian" university and discovered (and was taught) the fine art of rationalization. I had a real talent for it, and soon came up with some real beauties.  For example, I concluded that there was no such being as Satan, therefore, there could be no Hell.  If I wasn't good enough to get into Heaven, then the worst thing that could happen to me was non-existence after physical death.  Strangely enough, this was comforting.  I also figured out, all by myself, that the Bible's prohibitions against pre and extramarital sex were only there because they had not had birth control pills back then.  Certainly, in our modern, more advanced times, those old rules no longer applied.

     I never actually stopped believing in God or in Christ, but I definitely kept them on the back burner.  I even prayed at least twice a year!  All the while, I was developing character traits (flaws, actually) which would bear bitter fruit not too much later on.

     I got married for the first time during my senior year at TCU. On the surface, everything seemed fine.  I even managed fidelity for five years.  Then, however, the dam burst and the rebellion poured out like a rain-swollen river.  For the next fifteen years, I experienced the pattern familiar to every addict, needing more and more of my particular "fix", in my case the need for the illusion of being loved, just to maintain the same level of artificial satisfaction.

     The details aren't important, but over this period of time, I left a trail of broken marriages, short affairs, unpaid bills, and a ruined reputation. The cost in terms of emotional suffering for myself and anyone close to me was enormous.

     Then, once again, something happened to change my whole approach to life. The difference was that this time, it really was something wonderful. I picked up a Bible that had been given to me a few years before (it had hardly been touched and still looked new) and began to read. I began, in of all places, Revelation. Over the next four or five months, I read the entire Bible. The most significant thing about that was that reading the Bible in full context destroyed my ability to rationalize my was around the parts I didn't like.  However, I also found many good things that I had never understood before. Things like grace, love, and forgiveness.

     For many years, I had been avoiding God because I thought that I had messed up beyond all hope. Now I learned that no such thing was possible.  My response was the smartest thing I have ever done. I accepted the redemption that Jesus Christ had purchased for me on the cross, admitted to God and myself that he could manage my life far better than I could, and humbly asked for his help and forgiveness.

     Since then, my life has changed immeasurably for the better. It hasn't happened all at once, and it has not been without painful struggle and an occasional setback, but it has been permanent and wonderful.

     After twenty years of making myself miserable trying to pretend I was meant to be a lawyer, I have a new career as a chemical dependency counselor which I hope will evolve into vocational ministry. I have a beautiful, loving wife who fills my life with joy. I have a wonderful daughter who is growing in the Lord in spite of my foolishness.  I can relate to people with love and compassion instead of seeing them as my personal playthings.  Best of all, I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally by my Heavenly Father.