This page is dedicated to the memory of Amanda Marie Ellis.
5/12/97, 22 weeks gest.

Amanda's Story

On February 10, 1997, we had decided it was time to buy a car.   We had looked at several and finally knew what it was the we wanted.  We were going to pick it up and sign the loan papers when my husband said to me, "You better make sure you aren't pregnant before we go through with this.  You know we don't have the money to do both!"  At the time, we thought it was a big joke.  We had been together for over 7 years and had not been pregnant yet.  We thought maybe one of us was infertile.  When I bought the pregnancy test, (just to humor him), we found that this was far from the truth.  I was indeed pregnant.  We were both very happy.  Although it was unexpected, this baby was very wanted. 

I went to the doctor and he confirmed the pregnancy with an ultrasound.  I saw her heart beating and I was so excited.  After being examined, the doctor announced that it looked like a normal, healthy pregnancy. 

As this was my first pregnancy, I had no idea what I was supposed to feel like.  Everything felt very strange.  But I was so happy.  In my monthly routine prenatal visits, I mentioned that I felt strange.  I was told it does feel strange to be pregnant.  I had no reason to distrust my doctor.  In late April, I started to have problems in my hips.  I felt a great deal of pressure.   I was in pain a lot.  Things simply just did not feel "right".   When I brought this to the attention of the midwife caring for me in my doctors absence, she said she 'couldn't do anything for my hips-but she could refer me to an orthopedic specialist down the hall.'  She refused to check me any farther.  In fact, she only checked the baby's heartbeat in that visit. 

On May 9, 1997, I started to feel worse.  Generally a little ill, but mostly very bad whenever I would sit down.  I experienced the sensation of things being pushed up inside of me.  Whenever I stood up, I felt like something was falling out of me.  Since I had just been to the doctor and told all was fine, I pushed the feelings out of my mind.  I wish so badly now that I had called the doctor immediately. Maybe my little girl would still be with me.

May 11, 1997, ironically Mother's Day, I went into the hospital.   I was bleeding.  They immediately performed the only other ultrasound I had during the pregnancy.  They found I was already 4 cm dilated.  They put me in a bed lying with my body tilted feet up, head down because the membranes were bulging through my cervix.  They were hoping the membranes would go back so they could try a cerclage.  It did not work.  On Monday, May 12, 1997 at 11:20 am, I gave birth to a 12", 1 lb. baby girl.  She was perfect in every way.  And she was alive.  I watched her gasp for air through her tiny mouth.  I watched her stretch her arm.  She didn't open her eyes or make any sound other than those little gasps.  She lived for nearly 30 minutes and then died in our arms.  We named her Amanda Marie Ellis.  She was only 22 weeks of gestational age.  I was told repeatedly there was nothing that could be done to save her.  We called our Minister and had her baptized.  And we cried.  Almost non-stop.

On May 14, our precious little girl was buried.  Her funeral was a beautiful graveside service. 

The doctor was baffled.  By the time I went into the hospital, it appeared to him I was having a placental abruption.  To find out why, he ordered blood tests.  I turned out to be positive for the ANA Lupus Anticoagulant and the aniphospholipid antibodies.  At that point, my doctor set up a consultation with a "high risk" specialist so I could find out more about this rare blood problem.   During my consultation, the specialist asked me some key questions that my doctor had never thought to ask.  This new doctor thought it sounded as if I also had an incompetent cervix.  A test was performed that confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was true.

Feel free to contact me with questions, comments, or your own story.

©Karen Ellis, 1997