He was studying quietly in the student lounge of the
dormitory. His chemistry book, at the moment, was opened to
an unimportant page while he looked through his notes with a
definite sense of contemplation afflicting his expression.
His face showed a look of loneliness. His pencil quietly
tapped on the surface of the old oak table. Outside, the
sun was shining, and the sky was clear. It was definitely
not a day to be studying. People would look at him
strangely, with a sense of wonder, sometimes say hello, and
pass on by, though he would generally say nothing in
response. Julie was the only person that really knew him.
They had known each other since elementary, and had done
things together often. In his times of trouble, he had
always thought of Julie. He had carried a flame for her
that never seemed to weaken. He would look back, in his
times of sadness, at her honest and loving face, holding his
soul in suspended animation. They were always able to talk
about anything together. Something just seemed to be
missing.
...Someone is left alone - in silence.
He has no one to understand him.
Thoughts know not where to find safe refuge...
When the tapping of his pencil became a little more
violent, making noticeable marks on the table, he put it
away, along with his books, and left. He thought to
himself, "I wonder what she's doing right now. If anyone is
willing to spend time with me it's her." He proceeded
through the hallways at a leisurely pace, letting himself be
confined within his thoughts. "What is there to be done
that would not be blocked by something or someone else. For
all I know, she's gone off and gotten married." By this
time, he had reached his room, and was sitting Indian style
on his bed, in his single room, with phone by his side, "I
gotta call her. What if I get the machine. Grrr." He
picked up the phone and dialed Julie's number, which he had
conveniently memorized. The phone rang, each ring seemingly
lasting a good five minutes.
"Hello," came a voice of poise and distinction.
"Julie, this is Tony. I felt a need to talk with you."
With a sense of bewilderment, "Tony, where..."
Abruptly, "I need to see you again. I miss you. I'm,
well, lonely, as I'm sure you can understand."
"Yeah, I can definitely understand that concept.
Fluffs still keeps me company, but, she's just a cat. I
could use a bit of company also. When would be a good time
for me to come over?"
"How soon can you get here?"
"I just need to grab lunch, pack a small bag, and
leave. So, I'll be there about two thirty or three. I'll
bring some of those brownies you like. I just made some
yesterday."
"I have class from two to three."
"Tony," Julie said as if to awaken him, "it's
Saturday."
"OH! So that's why the dorm was so quiet when I got
up. I've been a little dazed lately. I have started to
think that sleep is nothing but a dream."
"We'll talk later, Tony. OK?"
"Yeah. I'll be in my room."
"Bye"
They both hung up. Tony continued to study in his
room. Thoughts of seeing Julie again pervaded his world,
and set his emotions flowing. He leaned back against the
wall and rested in thought. He had opened his book, but was
paying no attention to it. He started to hum a tune that he
and Julie had listened to often. In his exited state, he
could surely find no refuge in sleep, let alone keep his
head on the pillow. Emotions defeated him and forced the
poor boy to seek a quiet refuge elsewhere, without the
overwhelming memories of pictures and nick-nacks within his
room. He left the dorm, and went for a walk. He sat down
in a park and suddenly calmed down, losing his sense of
rigidness. He watched the birds as they seemed to play and
dance for any spectator that might want to take the time to
notice. His eyes followed a blue jay, as it darted through
the air towards its prey. The blue jay then flew up to its
nest and attended to its young.
...Refuge is found
Without a sound,
And heavenly peace is within him.
He recited a poem that Julie had written for him. A
tear began to glisten in his eye, and he relaxed in happy
thought. He did not cry, nor make a scene. Tony returned
to his room, taking his time to enjoy the gaiety of nature.
After time had presented its trials, there was a knock
at the door. "Come in." The door opened, and Julie was
standing there.
"Tony."
He bolted up off of the bed, as if lightning had struck
him. They hugged, and proceeded to hold hands as they sat
down. "I've been thinking about you. You know this," he
said. "I'm hungry. Let's go to the cafe; the one that we
went to before."
"Sure, it's been a long time since I've seen that
place. Do they still have those terrific subs?" She cast a
gaze out the window, seeming to appreciate the green leaves
and blue sky.
"Yeah, but they're not like they used to be. The
previous owner had to sell the business. Now, it's just not
quite the same."
They then left the room, holding hands. Tony's
expression showed newly uncovered happiness. It was a sign
of pleasure that was like a small child at Christmas.
As they were walking, they walked by a church, with its
stone walls, steeple, stained glass windows, and grandiose
arches. This reminded Tony of the beauty he saw in Julie,
and compelled him to speak up. Tony began to speak, "Too
much trouble, relationships, friends, etc."
"Yeah, I know. I'm afraid we both have the same
problem."
Tony looked up at the stained glass windows, "It
reminds me of the church back home. You know, I'm not cut
out for university life. What would you think about me
moving back home and going to community college?"
"Can you get a decent education there?"
"Yeah. I just came to the university so I could get
away... forget about the past."
"Well, I'm slightly biased, but it sounds like a good
idea to me. I'll finally have someone to spend free time
with again."
They continued talking and walking, just as it was when
they were kids. When it came time for Julie to leave, she
said, "see you at the end of the quarter," and gave him a
small kiss on the cheek. Friendship, what a concept...
(-copyright Brian David Smith All Rights Reserved)
