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Birds flying over the Everglades

Flamingos

sunrise over the everglades

Aeriel view of Miami Beach


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DIARIO DE UN ARGENTINO

Agosto 12 ------ Hoy me mude a mi nueva casa en el Estado de Pennsylvania. Que paz! Todo es tan lindo aqui. Las montaņas son tan majestuosas. No veo la hora de verlas cubiertas de nieve. Me alegro de haber dejado atras el calor, la humedad, el trafico, los huracanes y los cubanos de Miami. Esto si que es vida.

Octubre 14 ----- Pennsylvania es el lugar mas bonito que he visto en mi vida. Las hojas han pasado por todos los tonos de color entre rojo y naranja. Que bueno tener las cuatro estaciones de nuevo. Sali a pasear por los bosques y por primera vez vi un ciervo. Son tan Agiles, tan elegantes, es uno de los animales mas vistosos que he visto en mi vida. Esto es el paraiso. Espero que nieve pronto. Esto si es vida.

Noviembre 11 --- Pronto comenzara la temporada de caza de ciervos. No me puedo imaginar a nadie que quiera matar una de esas criaturas de Dios. Ya llego el invierno. Espero que nieve pronto. Esto si es vida.

Diciembre 2 ---- Anoche nevo. Me desperte y encontre todo cubierto de una capa blanca. Parece una postal ... una pelicula. Sali a sacar la nieve de los escalones y a palear en la entrada. Me tire en ella y luego hicimos una pelea de bolas de nieve con los vecinos (yo gane) y cuando la barredora de nieve paso, tuve que volver a palear. Que linda la nieve! Parecen copos de algodon desparramados por todos lados. Que lugar tan bonito! Pennsylvania si que es vida.

Diciembre 12 --- Anoche volvio a nevar. Me encanta. La barredora me volvio a ensuciar la entrada, pero bueno ... que le vamos a hacer, de todas maneras, esto si es vida.

Diciembre 19 --- Anoche nevo otra vez. No pude terminar de limpiar la entrada porque antes que terminara, ya habia pasado la barredora, asi que hoy no pude ir al trabajo. Estoy un poco cansado de palear esta nieve. Barredora de m%^&*a! Que vida!

Diciembre 22 --- Anoche volvio a caer nieve, o mejor dicho ... m&^%$ blanca. Tengo las manos hechas m&^%$ y llenas de callos de la pala. Creo que la barredora me vigila desde la esquina y espera a que termine con la pala para pasar. La p#$% madre que la pario!

Diciembre 25 --- Felices Navidades blancas, pero blancas de verdad, porque estan llenas de m&^%$ blanca. Me c$%^ en la m^%$#! ... C$%^&*! Si agarro al hijo de la gran p$#@ que maneja la barredora, te juro que lo mato. No entiendo porque no usan mas sal en las calles para que se derrita mas rapido este hielo de m*&^%.

Diciembre 27 --- Anoche todavia cayo mas m(*&^ blanca. Ya llevo tres dias encerrado. Salgo nada mas cuando tengo que palear la nieve despues de que pasa la barredora. No puedo ir a nigun lado. El auto esta enterrado bajo una montaņa de nieve negra. El noticiero dice que esta noche van a caer 30 centimetros mas de nieve. No lo puedo creer.

Diciembre 28 --- El hijo de p^%$ del noticiero se equivoco otra vez. No cayeron 30cm de nieve ... cayeron 1.2 metros mas de esa m^%$#! . . . Me c^%$ en su madre! Como sigamos asi, la nieve no se derretira ni para el verano. Ahora resulta que la barredora se rompio cerca de aqui y el hijo de p%$# del chofer vino a pedirme mi pala. Que descarado! Le dije que se me habian roto 6 palas limpiando la nieve que me deja todos los dias. Asi que le rompi la pala en la cabeza por pelotudo!

Enero 4 -------- Al fin hoy pude salir de la casa. Fui a buscar comida y un ciervo de m^%$# se cruzo delante del auto y lo mate. la p^%$ madre! El arreglo del auto me va a salir como en tres mil dolares. Estos animales de m!@#$ deberian ser envenenados. Ojala los cazadores los hubieran hecho m*&^% a tiros a todos el aņo pasado. La temporada de caza deberia durar todo el aņo.

Marzo 15 ------- Me resbale en el hielo que todavia hay en esta ciudad de m$#@! y me quebre la pierna.

Mayo 3 --------- Cuando me sacaron el yeso, lleve el auto al mecanico. Me dijo que estaba todo picado por debajo por culpa de la sal de m&^%$ que echaron en la calle. A quien m*&^% se le ocurre? No hay otra forma de derretir el hielo?

Mayo 10 -------- Me mude otra vez a Miami. Esto si es vida! Que delicia! Calor, humedad, trafico, huracanes y cubanos. La verdad es que al que se le ocurra vivir en ese estado de m%$#@ de Pennsylvania tan solitario y frio es un boludo y tiene que estar completamente loco. Esto si es vida!

AN ARGENTINIAN'S DIARY

August 12 ------ Today I moved into my new home in Pennsylvania. How peaceful! Everything is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. I cannot wait until I see them covered in snow. I'm happy to have left behind the heat, the humidity, the traffic, the hurricanes and the Cubans in Miami. THIS is the life!

October 14 ----- Pennsylvania is the most beautiful place I've seen in my life. The leaves have changed through all the shades of red and orange. How wonderful to have all four seasons again. I went for a walk in the woods, and for the first time I saw a deer. They are so agile, so elegant. They are the most beautiful animals I've seen in my life. This is paradise. I hope it will snow soon. THIS IS the life!

November 11 ---- Soon it will be deer hunting season. I cannot imagine anyone who would want to kill one of these creatures. Winter is here. I cannot wait for it to snow! THIS IS THE life!

December 2 ----- Last night it snowed! I woke up and found everything covered in white. It looks like a picture postcard... a movie. I went out to sweep the snow off the steps, and to shovel the walkway. I lay down in the snow, and later we had a snowball fight with the neighbors (I won) and when the snowplow went by I had to shovel again. The snow is so beautiful! It looks like cottonballs piled up everywhere. What a beautiful place. Pennsylvania is the life.

December 12 ---- Last night it snowed again. I love it. The snowplow covered my walkway in snow again, but... what can we do. Anyway, this is the life.

December 19 ---- Last night it snowed again. I couldn't finish shoveling the walkway because before I finished the snowplow went by, so today I couldn't go to work. I'm a little tired of shoveling snow. $%&^ snowplow! What a life!

December 22 ---- Last night it snowed again, or better said... white s%$t fell from the sky. My hands are destroyed and full of callouses from the shovel. I think the snowplow watches me from the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling before it goes by. D*&^ M*^%^&%&%r!

December 25 ---- Merry white Christmas, but really white because everything is covered with white s%^t. G^&&%$^%&*! If I catch the son of a n^&*% that drives that snowplow I swear I'll kill him. I don't understand why they don't put more salt on the road to melt the ice faster!

December 27 ---- Last night even more white s&*t fell from the sky. I've been stuck inside my house for three days! I got outside only when I have to shovel the walkway after the snowplow goes by. I can't go anywhere. My car is buried under a mountain of black snow. The news said that tonight 30cm of snow would fall. I cannot believe it.

December 28 ---- The son of a b*&^% weatherman was wrong again! We didn't get 30cm of snow... we got 1.2 meters of the s*&t. . . . G*& (^&*^ him! If this continues, the snow won't ever melt, not even in the summer. Today the snowplow broke down near here, and the driver came to ask ME for a shovel. I can't believe it! I told him that I had broken six shovels shoveling up the snow that he pushed on my walkway everyday. So I broke THAT shovel over his head.

January 4 ------ Finally today I was able to leave my house. I went to buy food and a d*^% deer walked out in front of my car and I killed it. The repairs for the car will cost $3,000! Those animals should be poisoned. I wish the hunters had killed them ALL last year! Hunting season should be all year round!!

March 15 ------- I fell on the G&^&&*%^&% ice today and broke my leg.

May 3 ---------- When they removed the cast, I took my car to the mechanic. He told me that it was all rusted underneath because of the salt they use to melt the snow. Who thought up such a thing? Isn't there another way to melt the ice?

May 10 --------- I moved back to Miami! THIS IS THE LIFE!!! What pleasure! Heat, humidity, traffic, hurricanes, and cubans. The truth is that anyone who would want to live in Pennsylvania, such a cold and out the way place, is crazy! This is the life!

*Please note that the views expressed in the joke above are not MINE. It's a joke folks, lighten up! :P


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Last Updated: April 3, 2000
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