Dateline show,
tragic events below
How would you judge this case?
As I mentioned on the previous page the story was about 3 children who filed with the
courts to divorce their father. It explained all the wrongs the father had done to
his family over a period of many years.
The children were 16, 14, and 7 years old.
The father was an alcoholic, used drugs, pushed his wife around, was never home,
and was never a father to the children. They wanted rid of him. He was
pleading for them to let him stay in their lives. He had tried to rehabilitate
himself over the years unsuccessfully. He admitted that he may never get better.
Before the show went on to reveal the judges
decision my husband asked me what I thought should happen. Should the children be
granted the divorce from their father? One of the pschycologist suggested that the
children were too young to make such a longlasting decision. Their father would
never be permitted to see them again.
My response was that the father should not be
allowed to continue "messing" with the kids minds. He hadn't physically
abused them, but emotional abuse in my mind is equally as cruel. I also believe that
children need a father so it was hard for me to say just extract him from their lives.
Maybe years down the road he will be rehabilitated. But they shouldn't be
made to suffer while he tries. I felt that the judge would do well to allow the
children to change their surnames (one of their requests) so they would feel as though
they could get on with their new lives, and that the father should be forbidden to see
them for 5 years. After that, they should meet in court again to see how the
children felt and how the father was fairing with his rehab. The core of my thoughts
was that I had no sympathy for the man - don't let him ruin the children's lives.
My husband, on the other hand, was a little
more sympathetic. He felt the whole family should have been put on a 2 year
probation. The father shouldn't be allowed to live with them, but he should be able
to visit the children. If, at the end of the probation the father had proved
himself, that the family would get back together.
This was a very strange twist in the way we
normally think. Usually I say "French" and my husband says
"Fry". This time I was the one saying let him fry. I wonder why the
strange twist.
Anyway, the judge really surprised me.
Throughout the whole case it seemed as though he was going to somehow try to help
the father. In the end, with tears in his eyes, the judge granted the children the
divorce. He felt for the children and actually gave them a hug telling them that
things would get better for them. He apologized to the father and was sincerely
regretful for the decision he had to make.
How would you have judged this case?
Please let me know in My Guestbook
Tragic Events
God bless this little girl
Two days ago (on August 13th, 1998) I heard that there had been an accident in town.
It happened in the parking lot at the local grocery store. I heard there were
cops everywhere and an ambulance and no one was quite sure what had happened.
Later I was told that a little 3 year old girl
had been struck down by a truck that was delivering fresh fruit to the grocery store.
Apparently she was with her uncle and ran ahead of him to get back to his vehicle
to head home. That was when the truck hit her.
The ambulance attendants gave her CPR and she
was rushed off in the ambulance escorted by many police cars. The ride to the
hospital is a long one, at least 25 minutes.
God, why didn't she make it. I am crying
for her. Three years old...God...so tragic. I'll never understand why these
things happen. A precious little life lost. The grief everyone involved will
suffer. The parents, the uncle, the truck driver, those who witnessed the
accident....
I could say that "life sucks" but
that would be too flippant for how I feel about this accident. It makes me think
about how much life can hurt. I wonder how much hurt a person can survive.
God bless that little girl. God bless
her. I can only pray that she is comfortable where she is, and not hurting to be
with her parents.
Bless her little soul.
To have and to hold
I was at the hairdresser last winter when I heard this story. My heart
really goes out to this family.
There was a pretty, confident young lady
sitting next to me. I didn't really pay much attention because I was reading a book.
But I did notice that she had a number of girlfriends that kept popping into the
back where we were sitting to see her, and talk to her. She seemed quite close to
her friends, they seemed like very devoted friends.
Later, after she left, one of her friends told
us of her plight.
A month or so earlier the girl was driving
home on one of the country back roads. It was a beautiful sun shiny day.
She had life in the palm of her hands. She was recently married
(probably about 2 years earlier) and very happy as she was about to be a first time
mother. I think they said she was about 7 months pregnant.
Then tragedy struck. She swerved to miss
2 dogs on the road and her car rolled. Luckily she survived and so did the baby.
That's the good part. The bad part is that as the car rolled over her arm
ended up out the window and was crushed. They had to amputate it.
Her friend told of how nicely she was
adjusting to her situation, and that her husband had accepted everything this accident had
brought. Since then I have heard that she has had the baby and they are all
doing fine.
I have told a number of people of this
accident, partly because I feel so bad about it, partly because I need to hear how others
feel about it. I wonder how other people deal with things that hurt them
emotionally.
Most people have responded that she was lucky
- lucky to be alive, and lucky that the baby was alright. Those people are probably
right - yes - they are right.
I still can't stop thinking about it though.
I was told that after she had the baby they would be able to fit her with a
prosthesis.
I know that she will eventually be able to do
a lot with her new arm, except for the one thing that is so beautiful that we all take for
granted. She will never be able to feel her new baby with that arm. It's such
an experience when you have a baby. You touch them, you cuddle them, you rub them,
you smell them, you feel their little fingers and toes with both your hands.
Jesus, that girl will never be able to feel
her baby with both hands. I know I'm being silly about all this but she was sooo
close to having that. Just a few more months and she would have been able to
experience that.
I think about other ways that her life will be
affected too. Will her marriage survive. It will be a major adjustment for
both of them. She will have to learn to rely on others to do what she could have
done herself before. Her husband will have to do a lot more of the things she used
to do. Man...having children is hard enough on young couples, let alone adding
something tragic like this. If their marriage was strong from the beginning perhaps
it will withstand this, maybe it will even bring them closer together.
I just wish she could have held her baby, just
once, with both hands.
How do you feel about this story. Please
tell me in My
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