I'm not famous and have never done anything
extraordinary. I'm just a fifty
year old woman with a breathing problem. At
the age of forty I was
diagnosed with emphysema. For the past few
years I have really struggled
with my breathing problem. There are so many
of us with a breathing
problem, many more than what the average person
would think. I feel that
people need to be better educated on this
subject. This is a growing
problem. Yes, I did get my breathing problem
from cigarettes. I started
smoking when I was very young and at that
time there was no such thing on a
pack of cigarettes "bad for your health".
I do realize that no one made me
smoke, but then again, I didn't know they
could or maybe would kill me
either. I do realize that not everyone with
a breathing problem smoked. I
did and my doctor said that I got my emphysema
from smoking. The price of
smoking for me was so much higher than the
price of a cigarette. When I was
first diagnosed with emphysema I kept on smoking.
I tried to quit several
times but my addiction was so bad that I continued
to smoke. At that time I
was going to just a regular M.D. not a lung
specialist. My doctor at that time
smoked himself and to him smoking was no big
deal. He did not encourage
me to stop smoking, and I guess he thought
that I didn't want to hear all of
that about cigarettes being bad for you and
what they could and would do to
you. I don't blame him for my breathing problems.
I had my first collapsed lung in December of
1990. I was in the hospital
Christmas of that year. Since then I have
spent many holidays in the hospital
with my lung problems. That was only the beginning.
That was when I first
met my caring excellent lung specialist whom
I go to now. I know without the
help of the GOOD LORD and my lung specialist
I wouldn't be here today.
He performed a procedure and my lung stayed
inflated. After that I
continued going to my regular M.D. I was in
and out of the hospital several
times a year with my lung problems.
By that time I had to stop working because
of my lung problems.
About seven years ago I had to go to the emergency
room at the hospital for a bad breathing spell.
I
needed oxygen because my oxygen level had
dropped.
The doctor on call in the emergency room that
night
was a lady. They took x-rays and blood test,
etc.
When the results came back the doctor looked
at me
and my only daughter who at that time was
only
sixteen and said, "Glenda," she called me
by my first
name, "if you don't quit smoking and I mean
stop
now, you are going to die and you won't even
live to
see your first grandchild."
I can to this day recall the words she said
to me. She put a nicotine patch on
my arm and admitted me to the hospital once
again. I had already tried the
nicotine gum and not only did I smoke but
also chewed the gum. The gum
sure didn't help my addiction. After another
week in the hospital I got out
once more. I never put another nicotine patch
on because I would smoke
while wearing them. I slipped around smoking
as I didn't want my family to
know that I was still smoking. At that time
I was still able to drive a car. I
would go out like I was going to the store
and stop and buy a pack of
cigarettes. I would buy only low tar cigarettes
thinking that these would not
be as bad. I would stop at a restaurant and
smoke those cigarettes, but the
words of what the lady doctor said kept running
through my mind. I didn't
want to die and still don't want to die. I
knew my breathing problem was
getting worse and worse. After about three
or four weeks of slipping around
at that restaurant smoking, I went into the
bathroom of that restaurant and
throw away the pack of cigarettes that I had
just bought and walked out of
that restaurant and to this day have never
smoked another cigarette. I
couldn't start to tell you the withdrawals
I had when I stopped smoking. It
was the hardest thing that I had ever done
in my life. With the help of the
GOOD LORD I have not smoked for over six years.
I'm not telling you even
now I don't crave a cigarette ever now and
then because after all of this time I
do, but I would never smoke another cigarette
in my life time knowing they
would probably kill me now for sure.
About five years ago I was admitted to the
hospital again. I couldn't breath
to good as my breathing level was very low.
I had developed a lung infection.
After my M.D. had treated me for about two
or three weeks I was getting
worse instead of better. He called my lung
specialist back in to help me. The
lung specialist sent me to the Jewish Hospital
in Louisville, Kentucky. I live
in Richmond, Kentucky and Louisville is about
a two hour drive from where I
live. After running tests they found a very
rare type of pneumonia. I got
down to where I couldn't walk or do anything
for myself. They didn't even
know if I was going to live or die. They called
in different doctors to help
me, disease specialists and lung specialists
and tried different antibiotics until
they got the right one. I had very good doctors
at the Jewish Hospital. I also
have to say that I have a very good supporting
family. My sister, daughter, or
my mother would stay with me at Jewish Hospital
even though it was many
miles away from our home in Richmond. I was
never left alone while at
Jewish Hospital. After a month there I was
put in the rehab section called
Frazierwood. There they had to teach me to
walk again. I was in a
wheelchair and on oxygen twenty four hours
a day. I was there for six
weeks. I will also say that everyone at Jewish
Hospital and Frazierwood
rehab were very nice, and caring people. I
did come home in a wheelchair
and on oxygen 24 hours a day. After returning
home I started going to my
excellent lung specialist. After a few months
I came out of that wheelchair
and out of that bed. I even got off of oxygen
some. I started having
collapsed lungs seems like one after another
in a two year span. I was having
them in my left lung at that time. Finally
a little over two years ago my left
lung collapsed again, by that time I think
it had collapsed around 5 times and
this time it wouldn't stay inflated. They
had to perform surgery and take out
the worst disease part of my left lung, a
wedge part of it. They cut through
my back. It was the worst pain that I have
ever gone through, a very painful
surgery. Again my dear sister, mom, and daughter
were right by my side. My
sister was there most of the time. She would
brush my hair and talk to me. It
seemed like she had the pain when I did, strange,
isn't it? Don't think there
has ever been two sisters any closer than
what we are. After a months stay in
the hospital I came home and went to my mom
and dads home to recuperate.
My husband had to work nights and my daughter
had a baby and her own
family by then. I could tell so much more
but won't right now. But my dear
sister would stop by moms after working all
day to see me and talk to me
which helped me so much. I'm so thankful for
my wonderful family. Again
my lung specialist pulled me through. Now
within the last year my other lung
has collapsed several times. Since November
of 1997 I have been back in the
hospital three times, once with a lung infection,
stayed about ten days, second
time lung infection, stayed that time for
five weeks, and this last time with
pneumonia and collapsed lung, stayed another
ten days. Now I'm trying to
recover from all of that but this time can't
get back to where I was. I'm going
to start rehab again here next week, as we
now have a rehab in our town
thanks to my lung specialist. On down the
road my lung specialist wants me
to go to St.Louis, Missouri to have the reduction
lung surgery. My health has
really declined at this point but I think
as long as there is a breath there's
hope. I don't think people really know or
understand what this awful disease
called emphysema can and will do to people.
I don't claim to be an expert on
anything, but I do know what I've been through
with my breathing problem.
I know there is people out there that has
been through some, if not all, what I
have been through. If this could help just
one person to know that there is
more people out there that is going through
what they are and that there is
still hope then it would be great. Or maybe
if this would just keep one young
kid from picking up that cigarette and smoking
it that would also be great. I
love to write and I write a lot of poetry.
I wrote this poem about my
breathing and I've dedicated it to people
with breathing problems. I'm also in
the process of writing a book called "Breathing"
about my lung problems and
all what I've been through because of it.
I am limited to the activities I can
do, but I enjoy going out eating or going
shopping with my family. I can't
walk very far due to my breathing problems.
Outside of the GOOD LORD
and my family writing is the joy and love
of my life. It has always been. I just
have more time to write now. I have written
several other poems that you
may see by selecting the poetry button at
the end of his page.
