Weather: Cloudy, threat of rain never quite materialises. 9.
William Vague calls on Tony Blur to create a crisis Cabinet until the foot-and-mouth outbreak is under control.
He accused the Government of failing to act quickly enough to contain and control the epidemic.
"We've supported the Government's measures to halt the spread of the disease. But we have watched with increasing exasperation and anger as the Government has continually underestimated the scale of the crisis, has failed to act with anything like the necessary speed or vigour and has consistently shown itself to be behind the game. There is much more they could be doing and yet for some reason they refuse to do it."
"When there is a war, there is a war cabinet. Well this is a national crisis, and we need a crisis Cabinet. The Prime Minister should set it up now. The Prime Minister should chair this crisis Cabinet himself. And it should meet every day until they're on top of this crisis. My message to the Government is: get it together - get a grip."
The depth of the fiasco over London's cancelled New Year's Eve celebrations is revealed in leaked documents that show how a desperate official suggested that London should fake fireworks at midnight. (Very bad fake of this faking to right. The real plan would have been better. We hope.) The bizarre plan would have seen fireworks graphically superimposed on television screens to convince the world that the capital was enjoying a spectacular night.
Bob Geldof, who had been contracted to organise the celebrations, scorned the idea. "For one shining moment, London could have been on par with North Korea for shameless media manipulation," Mr Geldof wrote. Plans to "have a show worth putting on the world's TV screens to rival Paris, Sydney and New York" were dashed when the fireworks scheduled for midnight had to be moved to 5pm instead. He disclosed that an official of one major public agency "apparently seriously recommend to a minuted meeting that we should fake the fireworks at midnight with TV graphics".
Call it old age, or economic pressures, but the Bank of England conspicuously failed to appreciate a joke planned by one of the new breed of banks. Abbey National, formerly a building society and a relative newcomer to high street banking, had plotted an April Fool's Day stunt offering customers the chance to print their own money. Aimed at internet customers, it promised the opportunity to download money to a home computer.
An Abbey National source said: "We were going to say that it would suit all those couch potatoes who don't want to go to the bank to get their money out. We would make available a system where you could download money from your personal computer and print it out on paper at home. It was a great joke, and it was obviously an ideal April Fool's. It is believable enough to seem real, but then you would think 'hang on, this guy is printing money'."
The Bank of England agreed that most people would spot the April Fool's, but was concerned that rather than laughing at the joke, some would start doing it themselves.
The Bank has strict guidelines about the reproduction of banknotes, which it is determined to enforce now that new technology has made the use of internet images in counterfeiting a possibility. It advised Abbey that the stunt was not such a good idea. The joke was called off, albeit not without some grumbling. "I'm sure forgery is one of the problems, but I'm not sure how this would encourage people to go out and print notes. I'm sure most of us would like to be able to print money, but you still need the equipment to do it," the Abbey said.