Feb. 25, 1994.  Almost two months into 1994 and this is the first entry.  That must be a reflection of my indolence;  or, our uneventful life.  Joan has continued about the same;  very gradually her walking (can't stand alone) and speech worsen.  She also sleeps a great deal (as much as 18 hours a day).  Not, of course, in one stretch but with naps after eating, bathing, visiting or just sitting.  Taking care of her has become easier for me. For the past two months the Agency has assigned Cindy Hobbs and Lisa Metcalf care for four hours each day.  It is good to have two caring and capable gals in charge.

The big news for me was my attendance at the ROSE BOWL, where Wisconsin eked out a victory over UCLA.  This plum was a Xmas present from Dave.  Ticket procurement was almost scandalous.  I didn't even want to know what Dave paid.  I suspect there will be an increase in physician fees at the clinic for a while.  A side benefit from the trip to Pasadena was an overnight stay with Dan & Sarah and kiddies.  That was a big plus.  They did an excellent remodeling job on their house.  I also had another check up by Dr. Kjobech;  everything OK.  And, two root canal jobs.

March 15.  Characteristic of Alzheimer's, changes are slow and relentless.  Joan's ability to walk continues to deteriorate.  The wheelchair is used more and more frequently.  Brushing her teeth is one of the most difficult tasks.  A number of times I've said, "I can't do this anymore."  But., of course, I do.  The other day Lisa said she had the same problem.  Dave came up with a five star suggestion, "Brush her teeth while she's sitting on the toilet."  Using a spit tray and glass it works much better.  The problem before was trying to hold Joan up with one arm (she's always slipping down), and brush her teeth with the other hand, and because she is slouching down all the lifting is done while you are in a bent position.  Doesn't sound bad but it was a real back breaker.  Cindy avoided the problem by brushing her teeth while sitting on a chair and spitting in a towel.  Pretty clever.

This morning in getting her out of bed I noticed for the first time she had the look of a sick person;  gaunt and tired eyes.  Later on in the afternoon she was breathing heavily;  a bit raspy.

Don't know why, but I bought a new car;  Honda EX.  It seems like a well engineered car.  Surely didn't need a new car;  guess it was part of my therapy program.

March 26, 1994.  It bothered me a great deal because mother collapsed while trying to walk.  Then, in looking back on this log, I noticed the same condition existed more than a year ago, resulting in buying a wheel chair.  So not much change.  In the mid 70's today and it's only March;  and no lake breeze!

April 14, 1994.  Much the same, only more so;  more wheelchair, more help in eating and more sleeping.  Sounds like a broken record.  That metaphor has lost its timeliness;  don't know when I last heard a broken record.  Maybe on the juke box at Medicine Lake Lodge in the late '40's!  The Home Care Agency fired Lisa yesterday.  No reasons given.  I wrote a letter to the Agency expressing my displeasure.  Lisa was a top aide;  intelligent, concerned and pleasant.  Very little chance of getting another aide of that quality.  Guess she was too forthright and proud to fawn over and cajole the director;  Irene Soth.  We'll make it but Lisa needed that job.

May 18, 1994.  The service of Home Care Agency has deteriorated.  In the last nine days there were 5 different (new) aides.  It appears they are short handed;  and they fired one of the best.  Earlier they fired Cindy B.  another good aide.  It is important for Alzheimer patients to have a continuity of care, and that is missing.  I explained that to the insurance company that pays the Agency $50/day (Old American) and asked if they would pay me directly, eliminating the Agency.  I would settle for $30 a day.  They would save $20 per day and as the policy has 350 days of coverage remaining it would save them $7,000.  I felt there was very little chance for the insurance company to comply to my request.  I was stunned when they agreed to the proposed settlement and sent a check for $10,500 to pay
their obligation.  At the most I had hoped they would agree to pay the $30 per day and send in monthly checks to cover that amount;  but $10,500 I still expect a letter saying there's been a mistake;  hope not.

After receiving that unbelievably good news I called Lisa and she is ready to begin taking care of mother.  I will pay her $7.50 per hour for four hours per day, that takes care of the $30.  I also called Cindy B., one of the first aides, she was also fired, and she will fill in whenever needed.  So, for the time being, the help problem is under control.  For how long
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May 24.  Last night while feeding Joan her supper I noticed her face and jaws became rigid.  It was very difficult for her to eat.  Supper took an hour and half.  She seemed exhausted when she finally finished.  Today was Lisa's first day;  it sure seemed great having her back.  I could leave without a bit of concern.  When I returned, Lisa asked if I had noticed Joan's right hand.  I hadn't.  The hand hung almost lifeless.  It would seem as if Joan had had a mini stroke last night while I was feeding her.  Today she was able to eat much better but her hand still dangles.  Sad;  and she's so sweet.

June 7, 1994.  Jerry's birthday;  59!  Seems like yesterday we were in our 1930 Chevrolet (purchased from Len, it had 32,000 miles for $300, we added another 70,000) taking mother to the Sheboygan Memorial Hospital.  Big boy, big head;  mother was as stoic and uncomplaining then as now.  The big event this past week was the two day visit of Dan & Sarah and Joanna & Robbie.  Mother definitely recognized them but, of course, couldn't articulate.  Within a month they will be in their new home in Colorado Springs,  it's a beautiful, large home.  If mother were well we'd be studying the road maps!  I hope they find many years of happiness in their Rocky Mountain home.

June 22, 1994.  Cindy B. has a job at Safeway, so she is not available to help spell Lisa.  I asked Kay if she knew of any aide looking for an extra Job.  I wasn't surprised when she called the next day and said she had someone she could highly recommend;  a young MAN.  He was here today and Lisa had him help her.  From what I saw, and mother's reaction, he will do very well.  Lisa also thinks he is good;  caring, considerate and patient.  He will enter the college nursing program this Fall.  More later.

July 12, 1994.  Jason Morley, the young MAN, has taken care of mother several times and does an excellent Job.  She definitely feels comfortable with him.  He also does very well on the housekeeping chores.  He's very strong and handles mother like a doll.  We are lucky to have him.  Almost every night when I'm putting mother to bed she collapses.  If it happens when I'm putting her on or off the toilet it is very difficult for me to raise her up and hold her while trying to dress her.  This afternoon when I got her up from her nap she collapsed while I was trying to get her into the wheelchair.  I tried to hold her up but she was falling to one side and I fell with her, trying to hold her and trying to keep from falling on her.  She has a bruised left arm but didn't seem upset by the commotion.  I felt like heading for the phone and calling Parkside Nursing Home to make a reservation for 2!  It's now 7 hours later and I will try to find a workable solution to the problem of dressing and handling mother.  For now. Parkside is not the solution.

July 31, 1994.  For about a week mother has been sleeping about 20+ hours daily, so it seems.  So on Thursday I decided I would keep an accurate log of the time she slept.  Guess what;  on Thursday mother awoke with a smile and a long and interesting story.  She ate her breakfast in about 40" without a time out for a nap.  Meals usually last from 1 to 2 hours!  After breakfast she remained wide awake, and for the rest of the day.  The next day, Friday, the alertness was gone;  she was back to sleeping.  On July 15, with input from Dave and Eric, mother was started on COGNEX.  A specialist at Virginia Mason Hospital (Eric is there) claimed positive results.  We'll try it for 3 months, unless side effects result in its being called off.  The BIG NEWS, and it is BIG is the FIRE.  It is a series of fires;  one is near Lake Chelan;  over 50,000 acres.  Another is about 20 miles north of here in TYEE area about the same size.  The third was the area for miles around Leavenworth.  Fierce fires that spread rapidly south toward Cashmere and placed Wenatchee under stage I ALERT.  I soaked the roofs and packed our bags, as we were ordered, so we'd be ready to leave.  Where we could go with mother I don't know.  To Wisconsin? Tonight, Sunday, everything seems calm and under control.  Winds were strong, up to 40 mph, so we had a covering of soot, cinders, ash and embers.  Hopefully it's over, at age 84 I prefer my excitement vicariously.

August 5, 1994.  A couple of nights in a row I had great difficulty in getting mother from the toilet to her wheel chair.  Her legs collapse making it extremely difficult to hold and take care of her.  The pained look on her face showed she knew I was struggling.  If only I had a capsule we could exit together, hand in hand.  Instead I visited Parkside Nursing Home today.  Had a pleasant visit with the director, Paula Bainard.  She seems competent and willing to help. She gave me a kit containing information on Parkside and also needed forms to fill out for state assistance in covering the cost ($3,000 per month).  I will go over the material and then put it aside for the time being.  I'm glad this first step is over.

September 11, 1994.  I have frequently mentioned that mother's ability to walk is worsening.  For the past three months she has become completely wheelchair bound.  This condition also led to the installation of a hospital bed.  Raising the bed makes it easier to work on mother.  Diane prompted this move and secured the supplies needed to better take care of mother.  I appreciate Diane's input;  I frequently feel I'm just floundering.  Yesterday Dave and I went to see the U of Washington's Huskies defeat the Ohio State Buckeyes.  Somehow Dave was able to get two tickets;  the stadium is always a sell out.  Diane came over to help take care of mother.  Today was Grandparent day (so decreed Hallmark) and we had a great visit from Laura, Sam, and Grant.  Last week we had a surprise visit from Sara;  two sweet granddaughters.  I had planned a 4 day trip by car, ferry, and auto to Victoria and Vancouver;  then I heard Elaine wasn't well so I scratched the car/ferry trip and flew to Sun City instead. It was wonderful being with Gert and Elaine and seeing Sun City again and a few close friends;  the Schraders and Doris and Al Foster.  And in Gert's church I met an old time Three Lakes friend;  Carl Zoeller.  As a special bonus Janis flew in from Albuquerque with her son Nicholas;  happy visit.  Elaine's illness can't be diagnosed, even  by the Mayo Clinic. That would make anyone sick.

October 9, 1994.  As a result of my Parkside visit with Paula Bainard I arranged for a meeting with Gary Larson of Washington's Department of Social and Health Services. The object was to see what financial help the State would provide if mother went to a nursing home.  He soon saw I was not ready for such a move.  He then mentioned the COPES program.  This program pays toward the help needed to take care of the patient in the home;  if you qualify for financial assistance.  I filled out the forms and had an interesting interview with the financial director;  a lady who reminded me of Mary S.  Thanks to the Trust, I qualified.  The state will reimburse me $1059.54 monthly.  Lisa gets about $600 monthly.  With the financial support from the State I was able to hire a lady to come in from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM to prepare a meal for us, feed mother and get her ready for bed.  I hired a gal from Manson, Wanda Etheridge.  She is very good with mother.  Less good as a cook, but she tries and she is a pleasant person to be with.  I have it pretty easy now.  Last Friday I went to the bank and the Social Security Office and arranged to have mother's name removed from our checking account and to have her Social Security check sent to our address, with me as the payee.  Taking her name off the checking account upset me;  it still bothers me.  Death comes in an infinite number and wide variety of ways.  The Department of Social and Health Services suggested removing mother's name.

December 2, 1994.  Mother's condition was unchanged in the past two months. The very sad news was the death of Sherry.  She valiantly fought cancer for over a year.  Death came October 18th;  she was only 52 but in those 52 years she did more for her fellow humans than most people do in many more years.  Social concerns were her milieu.  Jerry was a constant, capable and willing help during Sherry's long illness.  He must deeply feel the loss of such a capable and loving spouse.  He just returned to Chicago after spending 2 weeks in Wenatchee.  Dave kept him busy as did Laura, Kay and Diane.  It was good to have him back with us.