Lynda's Story
I was only 15 years old when I gave birth to my first son. I had somehow managed to hide my pregnancy from everyone, including my own parents, until five days before I gave birth. I was not part of the decision to give my son up for adoption. My parents made that decision for me.
I did not hold my son or even see him after he was born. I was told that it would not be good for me. I was also told by the Social Worker that I would forget about him as time went on. I did go on with my life, trying hard to pretend that the pregnancy and birth had not occurred. I buried myself in school work and extra-curricular activities. After graduation from high school, I went to college on an academic scholarship and became a registered nurse.
I married at the age of 23, and two years later we started a family. It was after the birth of our second son that I could not stop thinking about the son that I had given up for adoption. I needed to know that he was alive and well.
I began to search for my son on his 17th birthday. I made it my goal to be at his graduation from high school. The search took only five months. There were many people that helped me to find my son including Concerned United Birthparents. The support I received from the members is something I will never forget, and will be forever grateful for.
I did attend my son's graduation without him or his parent's knowing that I was there. It was incredible to see him for the first time. He looked so much like me, especially his smile. I felt such relief to actually see for myself that he was not only alive but full of life.
I contacted my son several days before his 18th birthday. He was ecstatic but unfortunately his parents were not. We exchanged letters and made plans to reunite but the reunion did not occur because of his adoptive mother.
My son left for the Navy in October, 1998. We continued to exchange letters although the letters were often sporadic and at times I was certain that he had decided to end our corresponding relationship.
In May of 1999 my son's ship returned from duty to Mayport, Florida. I received a very unexpected telephone call from him asking me to come to Florida to meet him. After all the arrangements were made, I flew to Florida on June 17, 1999. The next four days were unbelievable.
Our first meeting was at the hotel on the evening I arrived. I always thought that I would break down and cry uncontrollably when I finally got to hold him in my arms. Instead he and I just began to laugh uncontrollably. We look more alike in person than I had ever imagined that we would even down to a mole we both have on our left cheeks. Today when I close my eyes I can still see him hugging me and laughing and that is just such a sweet and wonderful memory.
Those four days were full of long talks and sometimes long silences too as we tried to get to know each other and catch up on the past. We did take time to just have fun too, which I really think is an important thing to do in reunion.
Two months after our first reunion, I went back to Florida to be with my son on his 19th birthday. In my mind it was his first birthday! We had even more fun together on this visit which was a lot less emotional for both of us. We rented jet skis, went to his division party where I met all of his friends and co-workers, and ate and ate and ate! There are no words that I can use to describe how lucky I feel to now be a part of my son's life. Today, we continue to correspond regularly. His ship is going to be moving to Virginia soon, and we are hoping to be able to spend more time with one another. My younger sons that are 5, 7, and 9 and my husband are all anxiously awaiting their turn to get to know him as well. As for my son's adoptive family, they have decided that they are not yet ready to meet me. I will always be ready with my arms and heart open to them when they decide that the time is right.
Will and Lynda, happily reunited after 19 years!