CAST |
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BLACKSHEBA -
Himself
Blacksheba is the world's most ghaslty
demon who enjoys haunting, lurking,
possessing and absorbing people's souls.
Being evil is simply his way of life.
His relationship with Fatima is severely
chewing into his serial killing time.
Fatima's wishes for him to become the
perfect boyfriend are taking their toll.
After years of creating misery for others
the tables have turned.
This is Blacksheba's first lead role in a
romantic comedy. He has played supporting
and guest roles in short films since
1997. Typically playing demon or killer
characters throughout his career, his
most notable films include "Black
the Ripper" (2004) and "Menace"
(2004).
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FATIMA -
(TBC)
Fatima has
dreamed of getting married since playing
'Mothers & Fathers' as a little girl.
But she always finds herself falling for
the 'bad boys', the jocks, the bikers and
now a serial killer. Her dream is to tame
one of these bad boys into being her
loyal and abiding husband. She has found
her greatest challenge in her engagement
to Blacksheba.
If Blacksheba doesn't stop being evil and
conform to Fatima's ideals he can
consider himself dumped.
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CAROL
SPATCHCOCK - (TBC) Carol has been
Fatima's best friend since high school.
They tell each other everything. Like
Fatima, Carol has always fallen for the
bad boys. She recently dumped her
boyfriend for spending too much time out
with the boys drinking beers and watching
footy. When she finds out Fatima has
dumped her fiance for 'similar' reasons
she considers herself the best person to
give advice to her distressed friend.
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PHAT DRACULA
- Matthew Bowie The vampire, Phat
Dracula was often Blacksheba's partner in
horror.
Lately he has found himself working alone
as Blacksheba has been busy sulking after
his break-up with Fatima.
Desperate to bring Blacksheba back into
the world of evil mayhem, Phat Dracula
will do anything to persuade his friend
to forget about the woman and get back
into haunting and murder.
Matthew Bowie has played the funk
vampire, Phat Dracula, twice before in "Kroykah"
(2001) and "No Reception"
(2002). So it's not much to ask the same
performance a third time from him. A
bonus is that he acts for free in his own
movies.
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CREW |
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WRITER /
PRODUCER / DIRECTOR Matthew Bowie After directing
many short films and earning a BA in
Production, Matthew Bowie began his
professional career in an attempt to
impress some girl. Since then he has
worked on the upcoming feature "Bitter
& Twisted" and the award
winning "Small Boxes".
He was then sacked from "Superman
Returns" due to bowling club
job commitments. After being black
listed by the Korean Film Industry,
Matthew Bowie has worked on numerous TV
commercials as well as several TV series.
Most recently Matthew has been working
on the Production Team of Paul
Fenechs "Pizza" which
airs on SBS.
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BLACKSHEBA'S
CASTING DREAM-LIST |
Since I am the star
of doom in this movie I thought I
would put forward a ghastly list
of mortals as my first preferences. Too bad
the production team is so amateur they
could not even possess a
cockroach! Expect Sockcunteeah of some
jungle woman from the black lagoon
to portray my fiancee. But read on, these
are the ultimate casting choices of horror
and romance for this film!
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BLACKSHEBA
Frank Langella Hehhehao! Skeletor
is the reason I left demonism for
acting. Many people on the street ask me
if I am related to Skeletor but that is
impossible because he is a fictional
character and I am a demon of black
magic. But I take it as a complement
because Skeletor is one of my idols of doom.
If someone
were to portray the horror of me
in a film Id want it to be, Frank
Langella, the man who played Skeletor.
Recently he was in Superman Returns, he
is a bit old now but the honour will
still be there.
Frank also
provided the voice of Archer
leader of the Gorgonites in the film Small
Soldiers. Archer looks like the
stripper I have cursed the
Writer/Director/Producer to waste all his
tipping dollars on
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FATIMA Scarlett Johansson
This
bitch is in every second movie
these days. So it probably wouldnt
hurt if one of those movies was this one.
I read in magazines that she puts out and
as the star of the movie, its my
dong of doom she will be riding.
Submit to the Sheba, Scarlett, my
bone will possess every orifice!
She is not
the kind of girl I would marry. I wouldnt
get married in the first place. Bitches
arent even worth possessing
because they are weak, Id rather
chuck them in the creek and KILL, KILL
KILL! HehoHaha
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CAROL SPATCHCOCK
Hilary Swank Random choice you
may be thinking. But this is proof that
there is a brain inside this skull
head of mine. She won an Ocsar for that
movie where she had that baby that costs
a million bucks. It would be the spook
ploy of the year to have an academy award
winner in a supporting role of anti-horror.
Most of the time she looks kinda like a zombie
woman on a bad face day. This is
actually a good picture I took of her,
nice bra. I will take Scarlett and leave
the director to the terrifying
scraps. But I think Hilary is into people
from the catering industry anyway.
So the director cant even pull my cursed
scraps!
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PHAT DRACULA
William Marshall Draculas
soul brother! Every other vampire
wishes he had one ounce of Bills blackness.
Hoohhehoo. Not even my black magic
can possess people with such
abilities.
William
Marshall played Blacula in Blacula
and the sequel to Blacula
he also was in Star Trek
in that episode with the guy who played
Blacula in it.
With my
powers from the depths of hell and
his vampiric black sideburns
of darkness it may be possible to
bring Bill back from the grave for
this short film.
But after
meeting his ghost in the afterlife,
he was asking for too much money. So I
have decided he is not worth the black
magic.
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