I’m not sure how many of you peoples have actually seen the previous version of this page, but in case you haven’t, my last commentary was all about the absolutely wonderful (note the sarcastic tone) process of applying to colleges. And now, for the latest update:
After spending hours and hours of attempting to perfect my college applications, I finally sent them in to the schools. With the return of the acceptance (and denial) letters, I have finally decided (so what if I didn’t mail in my Statement of Intent to Register until the last day possible?) where I will be spending my next four years: UCLA!!! (Like most of you guys don’t know already.) Next year, since I KNOW all of you guys will come and visit me, I will be living in a DOUBLE (hi Hackett and Mandeep, no, I’m not trying to hint at anything) in the Dykstra residence hall.
Being the idiot that I most often am, I am currently a Computer Science and Engineering major. In other words, I will no life and my best friend will be my computer. Great, ‘eh? (Kyna, that is not a Canadian saying.) As for if I will stay an engineering major, ummm… well… uh… talk to me in a year or come back to this web page (it should be updated again by next summer) and find out! Please don’t ask me sometime around November when I am on my twentieth hour of a programming project and I can’t get past my name, date, and class for the header, unless you want to lose an ear.
For all the college students out there, here’s a little humor thing about majors (I’ve probably already forwarded this to most of you).
Computer Science
College:
Spend most of your time in a dimly lit lab, playing XTrek and drinking Jolt. Interact only with other CS majors, and only via the 'net if you can manage it. Become passionately involved only in the continuing IBM/Commodore/Macintosh debate.
Real Life:
Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet coffee...at least five cups an hour. Interact only with your own project team, and then only via e-mail. Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over who pays when the schedule slips, which wasn't your fault because you told them to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning.
Psychology
College:
Spend most of your time in a dimly-lit lab, playing with rats and other vermin. Drink Jolt by the six-pack to stay up all night with the rodents. Interact only with other Psychos, but only to analyze their behavior in non-lab situations. Become involved in the continuing debate over whether a trained rat could succeed as a comp sci major.
Real Life:
Spend most of your time in an unemployment line and living in a cardboard box with other vermin, wishing you'd changed to CS instead of the rat. Continue to consider yourself superior to social work majors.
Economics
College:
Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit room full of charts and graphs. Learn about supply and demand, GNP, supply and demand, prime rates, supply and demand, inflation, and supply and demand.
Real Life:
Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit government office with people who look just like you. Issue reports you wrote in college because you're too lazy to write a new one. Watch newscaster explain your report to unsuspecting viewers. Listen to President explain that the economy sucks because of unemployed psychologists.
Philosophy
College:
Read books by dead guys. Debate whether a tree falling alone in a forest will say, "Oh, shit! Not again!" Consider the ethical problems in the killing of annoying street mimes. Get failed by prof for not liking correct dead guy.
Real Life:
Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet coffee...at least five cups an hour. Interact only with your own project team, and then only via e-mail. Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over who pays when the schedule slips, which wasn't your fault because you told them to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning, thanking your lucky stars you switched to comp sci, which pays better than being a dead philosopher.
Mathematics
College:
Spend your time in a cramped office, thinking about polydimensional shapes and arguing their properties with other mathematicians. Scream when they steal your work. Steal their work. Be a social outcast.
Real Life:
See above. You work for the university.
And now, last but not least, (can’t ever leave this out), my theme song for everyone out there who still thinks I’m the devil’s little helper (sung to “I’m a Little Teapot”):
Other
Life II
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