Archmage - 101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing

originally compiled by Bill Garrett and Nushae Siobhan Fahey
295 additions compiled by Joel Hahn

Thanks to all who contributed: Nathan Amed, Paul Brinkley, Jay Cherry, Jonathan Coolidge, Ian Crowther, Joe Delisle, Nushae Siobhan Fahey, Curtis Frye, Bill Garrett, Joel Hahn, Larry Keber, John Kochmar, Tim Larson, Jonathan Sivier, Brian Snoddy, Stefan Thieme, and many, many others.

More can be found by reading the Cylindrical Scrolls, printed in Dragon Magazine a while back. (Copyright law prevents their inclusion here.)

  1  Acid Trip

  2  Affect Abnormal Fires

  3  Affect Normal Foyers

  4  Air Breathing  (land-dwellers only)

  5  Airshape (like Stoneshape, but with normal air)

  6  Airy Air

  7  Alamir's Freeway Breakdown

  8  Alamir's Fundamental Theorem

  9  Algorhythm  I-III (sp?)

 10  Anger God

 11  Animate Bread

 12  Anti-Anti-Magic Shell  (Pro-Magic Shell?)

 13  Anti-Magic Eggshell

 14  Anti-Magic Magic Missle

 15  Anti-Magic Magic Mouth

 16  Antipathy Orb

 17  Audible Hammer  (of the M.C. variety)

 18  Auditable Glamour

 19  Augmented Chord I, ii, III, iv, V, VI, vii



 20  Bad Lighting

 21  Badly Programmed Illusion

 22  Become Dead  (reverse of Resurrect Self)

 23  Bigby's Assertive Finger

 24  Bigby's Clenched Teeth

 25  Bigby's Critically Fumbling Hand

 26  Bigby's Glove  (colors the various Bigby's Hand spells, no bonus)

 27  Bigby's Groping Hand

 28  Bigby's Hairy-Palmed Hand

 29  Bigby's Insulting Hand  (the second finger is rather prominent)

 30  Bigby's Limp-Wristed Hand

 31  Bigby's Shadow-Animal Making Hands

 32  Bigby's "Shush"ing Hand

 33  Black & White Spray

 34  Blind Self

 35  Bold Monster

 36  Bookworm Blast

 37  Break-Wind Wall

 38  Break the Wind

 39  Bubbling Rainstorm

 40  Burning Hands  (Yours, ouch)



 41  Can Trip (And does!)

 42  Change Elf

 43  Charm Dead

 44  Charm Friends

 45  Charm Groupie

 46  Charm Potted Plants

 47  Charm Self

 48  Charm Undead (X rated version)

 49  Cheeseball

 50  Circling the Square  (i.e. Times, Trafalger, Tiannemen)

 51  Clause of the Lawyer

 52  Clear Audience  (usually follows Delayed Blast Flatulence)

 53  Clone Undead

 54  Clown

 55  Color Safe Spray

 56  Compulsive Disorder

 57  Cone of Bubbles

 58  Conjure Emmenthaler

 59  Contact This Plane

 60  Continual Bad Lighting

 61  Continual Right  (a political spell)

 62  Control Casting Time (controls the casting time of this spell only)

 63  Control Feather

 64  Copyright Shroud

 65  Crass Suggestion

 66  Create Coat Hanger

 67  Cure Animal Hide

 68  Cure Light Winds

 69  Cure Smoked Ham

 70  Cure STD

 71  Current Life

 72  Cylons, 10' Radius

 73  Cymbal



 74  Dalamar's Whoopee Cushion  (things that make you go hmmmm)

 75  Darkness, 15 micron radius

 76  Daylight (material components: must be cast outdoors in bright sunlight)

 77  Deathwish

 78  Deeppocket Lint

 79  Delayed Blast Cantrip

 80  Delayed Blast Flatulence

 81  Delayed Blast Spitball

 82  Demand Blindness

 83  Demi-Shadow Puppets

 84  Deny Reality

 85  Detect Crying

 86  Detect Dead (Yep, he's dead alright...)

 87  Detect Detect Spells

 88  Detect Hound

 89  Detect Lightning Bolts  (area: 5')

 90  Detect Pervert

 91  Detect Pink Bunny Rabbits

 92  Detect Self  (allows you to see if you are yourself)

 93  Detect Strikes and Spares

 94  Detect Tragic  (oooh, theres a sad happening over there!)

 95  Detect Unseen Butler

 96  Detect Visibility (Yep, I can see that)

 97  Detect Weevil

 98  Detect Wind

 99  Differentiate Without Error  (Hey, you never know...)

100  Dimension Doorknob

101  Dispell Nonmagical Reptiles & Amphibians

102  Dispurse Self

103  Doug

104  Doug's Generic Spell

105  Drain Vaccuum

106  Draw Upon Religious Right

107  Drawmij's Court Summons

108  Drawmij's Instant Cake Mix

109  Drawmij's Instant Coffee  (components: hot water and cup)

110  Drawmij's Instant Death  (Drawmij's CON must be about -30 by now...)



111  Earthly Chorus

112  Enchanted Toothpick

113  Enlightening Bolt

114  Enrage Dragon

115  ESPN

116  Ethertalk

117  Evard's Black Growth (range: 0)

118  Evard's Black Testicles

119  Evard's Blue Testicles

120  Explosive Familiar  (it's *your* familiar)

121  Explosive Friends

122  Extension Cord I, II, and III

123  Extinguish Match  (casting time: 5 rounds)



124  Face Grasp

125  Fear of Sunmotes

126  Feather Brain

127  Feather Flail

128  Feign Life  (as if the caster has one)

129  Feign Orgasm

130  Find Acquaintance

131  Find Floor (somatic component: falling on face)

132  Find Hand

133  Finger of Near-Fatal Injury

134  Finger of Plead

135  Fire Alarm

136  Fire Rap

137  Fire Stick

138  Fireball (reversed)

139  Fiscal Projection

140  Fist of Flesh

141  Fleshskin  (range: self)

142  Fool's Lead

143  Foresee Unseen Butler

144  Forget Spells (area: self)

145  Forehead

146  Foreskin

147  Fourier's Transformation

148  Furball

149  Furry Fire



150  Gaze at Reflection

151  Geese

152  Get Flu

153  Get Life

154  Glassteal  (swipe that beermug from that unsuspecting peasant)

155  Globe of Vulnerability

156  Grate

157  Graze reflection  (if someone hurts your knee)

158  Guess Alignment



159  Hair Extension I, II, III

160  Hallucinatory Escape

161  Hallucinatory Train

162  Hand of Skin

163  Hatch Egg (somatic component: sit on egg)

164  Heal Monster  (only works on opponents during combat)

165  Heel

166  Hold Bladder

167  Hold Mustard

168  Hold Self

169  Hornung's Gas

170  Hornung's Police Dispatcher

171  Housefly

172  Hug Self



173  Illusion Debugger  (for Badly Programmed Illusions)

174  Illusionary Crypt

175  Iggy's Invisible Illusion

176  Illegal Thoughts  (That serving wench looks older than 18)

177  Implosive Runes

178  Impress Plants

179  Improper Suggestion

180  Indirection  (address register postincrement)

181  Indivisibility  (The caster is a prime number)

182  Insect Plague, 5' Radius

183  Integrate  (reversible, Differentiate)

184  Invisibility to Inanimate Objects

185  Invisibility to Dead

186  Invisible Talker

187  Irritate Self



188  Kender Summoning I, II, III

189  Kitchen Sink

190  Knock Knock

191  Know Own Alignment

192  Know Person  (in the biblical sense of the word...)

193  Kooshball



194  Legend Bore

195  Legend Lore, Extended Dance Mix

196  Leomund's Condemned Shelter

197  Leomund's Grass Hut

198  Leomund's Mortgaged Shelter

199  Leomund's Risky Tax Shelter

200  Leomund's Secure Chest Cavity

201  Leomund's Sturdy Music Box

202  Leomund's Tap

203  Leomund's Underfunded Homeless Shelter

204  Level Water

205  Lightning Blot

206  Limited Dish  (Sorry sir, the Dover Sole is off)

207  Limited Wash

208  Locate Right Hand

209  Locate Self  (tells you where you are, relative to your location)

210  Locate Tongue  (requires verbal component)

211  Locate Wizard  (the _nearest_ wizard)

212  Lorloveim's Shady Deal

213  Lose Familiar  (Get lost, ya wee booger!)

214  Lower Cholesterol Level

215  Lower Inhibitions



216  Maggot Missle

217  Magic Boomeranging Missile

218  Magic Gristle

219  Magic Missal  (A really boring prayersheet)

220  Magic Moth

221  Magic Orifice

222  Magic Shotglass  (as opposed to Magic Jar)

223  Mail of the Banshee  (victim gets letter saying "Waaaaaahh...")

224  Maize

225  Matrix Addition

226  Mauve Earth

227  Meld, Canasta Version

228  Melf's Acid Bow

229  Melf's Acid Trip

230  Melf's Minute Rice

231  Melodramatic Phantom Defenders

232  Memorize Spell

233  Meteor Swan

234  Micrometeorite Storm

235  Mildly Surprising Grasp

236  Minor Delousing

237  Mistaken Identify

238  Mistaken Thought  (Gee, guys, it _looked_ like a Gas Spore)

239  Moaning Spirit

240  Mordenkainen's Agnostic Hound

241  Mordenkainen's Aroused Hound  (can't get it off of the nearest leg)

242  Mordenkainen's Big Ears (+1 to all hearing checks, ear size quadrupled)

243  Mordenkainen's Bored Cat

244  Mordenkainen's Celery

245  Mordenkainen's Conjunction (Conjunction Junction, what's your function?)

246  Mordenkainen's Faithful Mosquito

247  Mordenkainen's Freeway Junction

248  Mordenkainen's Lubrication

249  Mordenkainen's Sword, -1 Backbiter

250  Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Wife

251  Move Venus

252  Muenster Summoning I-VII

253  Murder Darkness

254  Murdoch's Featherless Fryer  (Verbal component: "Butterball")

255  Murdock's Feathery Pillow



256  Nahal's Banana Peel  (appears under random ally's foot)

257  No Time

258  No Vacancy

259  Nystul's Undetectible Aura



260  Otiluke's Happy Fun Sphere

261  Otiluke's Resilient Ear

262  Otiluke's Room Temperature Sphere

263  Otto's Irresistible Disco-Duck

264  Otto's Resistable Dance



265  Paraphrase Magic

266  Part Hair

267  Pastel Blade of Warm Fuzzies  (9th level Drow spell)

268  Penultimate Fall

269  Phantasmal Fork

270  Phantasmal Morse

271  Phantasmal Thriller

272  Plane XOR

273  Polymorph Mother

274  Power Word Missing

275  Power Word, NO!

276  Power Word, Noogie

277  Power Word, Puke

278  Power Word, Pun

279  Power Word, Smirk

280  Power Word, Spam

281  Power Word, Wedgie

282  Protection from Catnips

283  Protection from Elvis, 10' Radius

284  Protection from Evil Kenevil  (sp?)

285  Protection from Halitosis

286  Protection from Normal Air

287  Protection from Normal Missals

288  Protection from Normal Oxygen

289  Protection from Normal Pillows

290  Protection from Self

291  Protection from Weevil

292  Psychoanalyze Without Error  (Zo, ven dit you shtop lofink your mutter?)

293  Purge Memory

294  Putrefy Offal



295  Rainbow Enhancer

296  Random Casualty

297  Rary's Mnemonic Cancer  (eats away at those favorite spells)

298  Rary's Mnemonic Device  (makes silly acronyms out of things)

299  Rary's Pneumonic Cough (range: self)

300  Read Common

301  Rectum of Retention

302  Reincarnation Door

303  Remove Hand  (yours)

304  Remove Minus Sign (reversible)

305  Remove Nurse ("Good-Byyyeeee Nurse!")

306  Remove Reality

307  Remove Self

308  Remove Strong Language

309  Reservation

310  Rest Erection

311  Resurrect Living

312  Resurrect Self  (problem: must be alive to cast the spell)

313  Reverse Graffiti

314  Rice Storm

315  Rock Summoning I



316  Sepia Cake Sigil

317  Serten's Smell Immunity

318  Sheepskin

319  Shocking Gasp  (usually follows Tenser's Shocking Suggestion)

320  Silence of the Lambs, 15' radius

321  Sleep with Dead  (yuck... unless you're a real Necromancer)

322  SmorgasMorph

323  Soap-on-a-Rope Trick

324  Solid Frog

325  Speak With Boring Monsters

326  Speak With Dead Plants

327  Speak With Grateful Dead

328  Speak With Living  (components: two tin cans and a string)

329  Speak With Mud

330  Speak With Self

331  Sucker  (for those of you who actually cast the spell)

332  Summon Allergy

333  Summon Death  (Death arrives and kills the caster)

334  Summon Self

335  Swift Envelope



336  Tape Mount

337  Tasha's Controllable Mildly Unpleasant Laughter

338  Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder

339  Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Daughter  (a.k.a. 'Sela')

340  Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Die Rolls

341  Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Flatulence

342  Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Gesture

343  Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Hand

344  Tax Avoidance

345  Taunt a Second Time

346  Teleport Environment

347  Teleport With Lots of Errors

348  Teleport Without Destination

349  Teleport Without Terror

350  Tenser's Double-Sided, Double Density Disk

351  Tenser's Floating Point

352  Tenser's Formatted Disk

353  Tenser's Gloating Disk

354  Tenser's Shocking Suggestion  (you want to WHAT??!)

355  Tenser's Slipped Disk

356  Tenser's Deadly Resurrection

357  Tensor Transformations

358  This Space for Rent  (fills up space on a scroll or in a mage's memory)

359  Time Start

360  Tonguetwister Change

361  Tons

362  Transmute Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust  (priest spell)

363  Transmute Friends to Enemies

364  Transmute Head to Butt

365  Transmute RGB to HSV

366  Transmute Rock to Stone (reversible)

367  Transmute Rock to Jazz

368  Trap the Sole  (see Limited Dish)

369  Turn Friends Into Enemies

370  Turn Pebble  (rotation, not banishment)



371  Undefined Symbol

372  Unenlightening Bolt

373  Unheard Servant

374  Unscented Cloud

375  Unseen Manservant

376  Unseen Pervert

377  Unseen Sympathy



378  Vampiric Breathing  (perfect for harassing phone calls)

379  Vampiric Crutch

380  Varnish

381  Visible Stalker



382  Walk

383  Wall of Dog

384  Wall of Horse

385  Wall of Non-Dairy Creamer

386  Wall of Normal Air

387  Wall of Paper

388  Wall of Velcro

389  Waste

390  Wink

391  Wizard Eyebrow

392  Wizard Lick

393  Wizard Nostril

394  Wizard Stain



395  You Wish!



396  ZX-Spectral Force


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