2 Into 1
Mar 17, 2003
Strange notion some people have of how the telephone network works.

I got a call from a gentleman saying he heard ringing halfway through dialing a number on his phone.

I asked him for the number. (I've changed the numbers to protect the innocent.)

Customer: "555 1234 224 5655. Its a local number."

Me: "I think you've got two number mixed up there. It's too long to be a local number."

Customer: "But this is the number he gave me..."

Me: "Well, I think you should call directory enquiries to get the number."

Customer: "Oh, I'm not PAYING to get it."

I had to explain to him that there was very little else I could do. I am after all a faults operator, not directory enquiries.

What Part Of "No" Don't You Understand
Apr 24, 2003
Why is it customers think that when I say "I cannot do that", they think I'm just being lazy or difficult?

They ask for the withheld number that just called them, I can't give it to them. "Oh surely you can."

"No I can't."

They ask for the name of the number they've given me. I can't tell them, it's illegal. "Oh surely you can."

"No I can't!"

They ask for us to rewire their line through another part of the network until their line is fixed. I can't do that. "Oh surely you can."

"No I bloody can't!"

Think About It More Carefully
May 3, 2003
I really wish callers would think before asking questions.

The most annoying one is; "I lost a pound in this phone box, can I get it back?"

What do they think I can do?

• It would cost BT too much in fees to transfer £1 to their account.
• No-one carries their BT account number with them.
• I can't make the machine give you a pound back.

The most often asked follow up question is: "Can you connect me?"

Just think about what you're asking. You're asking BT to pick up the bill for connecting your call. If we did that, we;d get thousands of fake phone box faults reported every day to get free calls.

So, no, I'm not going to connect you.