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Bonehead Company
Jan 23, 2003
As a faults operator, one of the less frequent faults reported
to us is CIE FAX, that is a FAX sent in error to a customer
without a FAX machine. Our way of handling this is simple,
to send a FAX to the company responsible explaining their
possible error.
This week, our esteemed managers have finally allowed us,
lowly humble CSRs to send FAXes for ourselves!
Having filled in the form correctly, I was confronted
with a FAX machine that refused to send outgoing transmissions.
The error message displayed? "OUT OF PAPER." Two other CSRs
left the machine stating it was "Broken." Three unsuccessful
pleadings with managers failed to materialise any paper,
so I used the pile of already sent forms to fool the machine
and managed to send the FAX. The manufacturer of the FAX
machine responsible? My own company brand.
As if this wasn't bad enough, on the way back to my desk
I passed my own manager walking about with very sharp scissors
held in front of him, snipping them.
Hydro Eclectic(sic)
Mar 10, 2003
The level of diagnostic questioning by some companies really
astounds me. With only a few questions, they can determine
that very desirable deduction; "It's someone else's problem!"
A customer called saying an overhead line had been brought
down and was lying across her lawn and her neighbour's garden.
This customer had at first thought it was an electricity
line and had called the Hydro board.
Their line of questioning was:
Hydro: "Is the line sparking?"
Customer: "No."
Hydro: "It's a telephone line."
The customer then called through to me to report it.
Red Noses
Mar 13, 2003
As part of Red Nose Day 2003, BT changed the voice on the
talking clock to that of Lenny Henry, who did various characters
on it. BT is donating some of the money raised from the
speaking clock to Comic Relief. One of those characters
has an over-exaggerated London accent, missing out every
"H" sound.
As a CSR on the faults department, I was surprised to
get a call from someone is Suffolk complaining at the offensive
language on the speaking clock. I was confused at first,
then I remembered the article I had read about the change
of voice for the charity. I asked her what language he was
using that offended her.
Customer: 'He keeps saying "At the turd stroke, the
time will be...." '
I explained to the customer that it was comedian Lenny
Henry and that he wasn't prenouncing his "H"s deliberatly,
so he was actually saying: "At the third stroke,
the time will be...."
The customer says they should get people who can speak
English properly, and then said I should do it as I had
a nice voice.
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