GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS, YOU ARE ENTERING THE REALM OF LOGIC INVOLVING FREE THOUGHT, COCA-COLA AND ARMAGAEDDON.

 

Many imbeciles believe that women are significantly different mentally from men. Women are rumored to be more sensitive and emotional, while men are rough and immature. I, THE DIVINE ONE beg to differ. Men and women are equally stupid. This is the truth. Men are dogs, and women are bitches. It's only logical.

 

 

HERE IS YOUR LOVE PRESCRIPTION

 

HOW TO ATTRACT THE FEMALE GIRL:

 

 Money (lots of it)

The rule is Dine, Wine and then you know what!!!

 

 CAR

If you are real ugly get a real good car. There are so many bald guys who drive open convertibles, with hot chics at the side.

 

 PERSONALITY

If you like any of the excellent movies that I have reviewed on the page, don't tell her that. Just say that Jerry McGuire really moved you. Of course if you really liked Jerry McGuire, go F*uck Roseanne, you frigging boring worm.

Agree with whatever dum philosopy she has to say

If she is dum complement her on how smart she is.

If she is plain looking, complement her on how attractive she is.

Be sure to say that the spice girls are unattractive. {Even though they probably look better than your girl} Most plain girls don't like pretty girls because they are just too damn insecure.

 

 

HOW TO ATTRACT THE MALE BOY

GOOD LOOKS:

Don't fret if you are plain looking, not everyone is as gorgeous as THE DIVINE ONE. Just wear makeup such as eyeliner, mascara, and foundations for your pimple or spotty face. I on the other hand am just born beautiful, I just wear my dark red slutty lipstick.

HAIR:

For god's sake don't have a short boy cut. People think that represents an independent woman. Bullshit!!! That just makes you look like a boy. Your boyfriend, will mistake you for one of his guy friends from the back.

FAT:

Yikes! Can't help you there. Just starve yourself. Ask your friend to string a chocolate bar in front of you, and tie the other end to the bumper of her car. Then chase the car for a couple miles a day while she drives.

Or

Get the guy of your dreams real drunk, take him to you place and jump on top of him and do your thing. Just don't squash him to death. That should do it.

Guys don't like fat chicks. EVEN FAT GUYS don't like fat chicks.

 

PERSONALITY:

Don't worry, most people don't have personalities. They are usually boring. If you are a bimbo or a slut by all means make that obvious to the guy. He will be very happy. As for conversation it doesn't matter, just dance naked!!!

 

HOW TO ATTRACT

THE DIVINE ONE:

 

I am interested only in MALES!!!!!!!!!!!

 

GOOD LOOKS:

No old men, obese, deformed guys, nor Corporate Morons. I am attracted to a variety of looks, no particular category.

 

PERSONALITY:

If the guy is 90% hot, then it is okay if I like 45% of his personality. If he is 70% Hot then, his personality has to be 65% good. If he is 100% Hot he can have 0% personality, unless he is an O.J. or a Jerry McGuire.

He must like alcohol.

A good personality: is one that likes the same movies, and music, agrees with everthing I say, and likes to be slapped, clawed and bitten.

PAST:

His ex girlfriends must be more than or equal, or slighlty less prettier than me. If he has an ugly girlfriend or even a plain looking girlfriend that is kind of a turn off. If he never had a girlfriend, that's fine with me. It's better to be with quality than quantity.

 

ASSETS:

Money, car and even paying full for the first date are all optional. Aren't I sweet??

 



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