What's the best thing about being in S.A.U. ? The work ethic ... Man, I've never seen a harder working band ! [bursting with laughter] ... Actually, things flow in a very natural way in the band. There is a fragile balance of personalities and no one's in a hurry to get all 'uppity' about any situation - which would upset that balance. How'd you start playing bass ? Like everybody else who plays bass - the band needed one. Me and Robbie had been in a couple of bands before where I'd play guitar ... but then Robbie started S.A.U. with his buddy from Sarnia, Calum, and Tony. They were practicing in the basement, so I'd have to hear it. Finally, I picked up my other roomates' bass and went downstairs to join 'em.

Give definition to Calum's more undefined parts and lock in with Robbie ... and don't think I don't know it.

Do you find this satisfying ?

Like a Teri Weigel blowjob.

How's the new singer working out ?

Very nicely. After Tony bailed, everybody was kinda down - especially Calum ( he's a sensitive guy).

Are you a sensitive guy ?

F**k off. Replacing a band member is always an agonizing process ... kinda like looking for an apartment - you think things are hopeless, then it all works out. You try not to get too emotional about the whole ordeal. After we "took it up the hoop" from Tony, me and Robbie just started looking for a new singer right away; y'know, like just wake up in the morningand start looking, like it's a part of your daily routine.We'd both see weak-ass people come and go through various bands.

I hear you play jazz ...

Yeah right, just ask my teacher at Humber. Rock, Blues, R&B, Funk, Classical, Oldies ... but I just never had a feel for jazz. Not real jazz anyway. But it's still a cool influence to have.

I hear you got some hot wheels ! '73 Maverick, effectionately dubbed " The Fu - Mobile" You don't think it can take on Sweet Tooth, do you ? In a heartbeat. What's your special weapon ? A trecherous barrage of rust and burnt oil. Sounds scary ... Makes 'The Blair Witch' look like Scrappy Doo. You're a big sports fan right ? Yeah.

What's your view of todays pro sports ?

Fans gotta pull their heads out of their asses and realize they have the power ! Without them, there is no game. A tree may fall in the forest if nobady hears it, but no one plays the game if nobody's watching. If I'd caught Mark McGuires' 70th home run ball last year ... I'd have kept it hostage. Call it a fan's "holding out". I'd give 2 weeks to come up with twice the market value and make MLB award the '94 World Series to the Expo's .... or I'd touch it on national TV. I think it's good that more fans are suing teams and players when they wait their renegotiated contracts or have a fire sale. I don't know how sucessful they are but it's a start. It's sad 'cuz the only people that can afford to go to a game are business guys on expense accounts, trying to impress their friends, talking about their cottage or something.

You're a bitch man !

You try being an Expo's fan ... and see how sunny your disposition is.

Who are your favorite people right now ?

The Undertaker, Sheryl Crow, Salma Hayek, Jimmy Page, Ani Difranco, Henry Rollins, Vladimir Guerrero Amanda Plummer and, of course, Teri Weigel.

What's the biggest injustice in the history of mankind ?

Shawn Ray never winning a Mr. Olympia.

What are your favorite teams ?

Ottawa Ruffriders, Cleveland Barons and Montreal Expo's.

It sucks to be you.

Yeah, well ...

Any favorite rock bands ?

Mostly friends', of mine, bands. Such as .... Bruli Sound, Pharmacy, My Girlfriend, SuperGARAGE. I've always been a big I Mother Earth fan, but overall, Tool and Korn kinda set the standard, as far as I'm concerned.