(Two evening scenes around the bay near Thelma's house. The sky is dark blue, frogs are croaking, and there are some bird chirps. Thelma slides open a window and the girls sneak out of the house over to Sandcastle to spy on Robert and Dorothea.) [book excerpt]
ELIZABETH (running down the steps): Come on! Go for it!
ELIZABETH: Come on!
THELMA: Coming!
ELIZABETH (pausing on walkway leading to Sandcastle): What if we get caught?
THELMA: We won't!
THELMA (creeping under the wooden walkway): Shhh!
THELMA (ascending wooden stairway): Shhh!
(The girls creep up to the first glass door on the patio, are almost seen as Dorothea, wrapped in a towel, closes the blinds to that door. Thelma grasps her heart at nearly getting caught.) [book excerpt]
THELMA: Hhh! Come on! But keep down!
(The girls sneak up to the next sliding glass door where the blinds haven't been drawn. They move back behind some patio furniture. Robert appears, the girls duck behind the patio furniture.)
ELIZABETH: My knee is broken.
THELMA: Crawl backwards!
(Elizabeth accidently bumps her elbow against a wooden lawn chair.)
ELIZABETH: Ow!
(Robert hears something from inside, looks up.)
THELMA: Come on!
ELIZABETH: They'll catch us!
(Robert comes outside but is too late to see made the noise.)
(Thelma is having her birthday party on the patio of her house. A dark-haired lady in a white blouse and blue slacks brings Thelma's pink birthday cake out of the house, Richard lingers behind in the doorway. Everyone applauds, including Thelma.) [book excerpt]
UNCLE DAVID: Thank you, thank you, friends, I just want to say how happy Judith and I are to see you here. And of course, Thelma, our little birthday lady. Of course, speaking for myself, I don't look forward to birthdays anymore. But, when you're nine years old and as pretty as Thelma, well... On this special day and with great affection, we toast the birthday girl for her near perfection: Thelma!
ALL (singing): Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Thelma, (Thelma sees Robert Burger coming up to the house.) happy birthday to you. (Yay! Yay!)
(A boy wearing a Nike T-shirt gives a wolf whistle. Elizabeth wanders to the edge of the balcony to watch Robert coming up. Thelma holds a finger to her mouth, nervously.) [book excerpt]
UNCLE DAVID: All in one breath, now.
(Thelma blows out all the candles.)
UNCLE DAVID: Did you make a wish? (Don't tell us what it was.) Then happy days, let's cut the cake. Elizabeth here will help you pass it around.
ROBERT: ...disturb... [book excerpt]
ELIZABETH: Oh wow. I'm scared.
THELMA (cutting a piece of cake.): Don't have to be.
ELIZABETH: Why?
THELMA: Because it's my birthday, and not yours. (Walks off.)
THELMA: Hi, Robert. My birthday cake.
ROBERT (shaking his head): Thank you.
THELMA: Is that a present?
ROBERT: Could be.
ROBERT: You're a couple little nasties, aren't you? Sneak up on a guy in the middle of the night and then when he caught you, you run away.
THELMA: We didn't think you knew.
ROBERT: With your footprints all over the place? I'd be pretty dumb not to.
THELMA: We came to see you. (Sits down, holding her piece of birthday cake.)
ROBERT: Yes, I gathered that.
THELMA: When we got there, you were talking to Dorothea.
ROBERT: Oh, and you didn't want to interrupt! Tell me, what was I saying? (Sits down next to Thelma.)
THELMA: We couldn't hear. She's not your wife, is she?
ROBERT (after a brief pause): I thought you said you couldn't hear anything.
THELMA & ELIZABETH: We couldn't.
ROBERT (motioning the girls to follow): Come on. Come on.
(Robert takes the girls underneath the wooden stairway, puts his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder and whispers to the girls confidentially.)
ROBERT: Now, I'm only going to tell you this once. I lied to you.
ROBERT: Now that's not very friendly, I agree. But: She's not my wife. She's my partner.
ELIZABETH: Like Cagney and Lacey?
ROBERT: Mmm. Kind of.
ELIZABETH: A spy?
ROBERT: Uh--No, I'm a reporter. And I'm onto a very big story.
ROBERT: Now, these men--and they talk in a foreign language, so you can guess who they are--are trying to steal the secrets for a new bomb. Now, they don't know that I'm onto them. And if they did... kwuch! (Draws his finger across his throat like a knife cutting.) So, I've got to trust you, as friends of mine. As silent partners. Not a word to anybody, not your moms, not your daddies, nobody! Now, just as long as we understand each other. OK? (Both girls nod.)
ROBERT: OK. Well, no gentleman comes to visit a young lady on her birthday without bringing a present. So... (He hands Thelma the package.) I hope it's what you wanted. Have fun! And uh, thank your mother for the invitation. She's a lovely lady but unfortunately I can't stay, duty calls. Hmm? Now remember: Shh shh shh! (Robert slides away.)
THELMA: He shouldn't have told us they were married when they're not. (Wipes her nose.) [book excerpt]
ELIZABETH: He said they're spies. We'll know who they are. [note]
THELMA (halts, grimaces at Elizabeth for her naivity): You're stupid.
ELIZABETH: No I'm not, you are. What is it?
THELMA (unwrapping the present): Don't you know?
(Thelma unwraps the package to find a pink instamatic camera in a package with a roll of 100 speed film included. The camera name Pastels on the package is partially seen underneath the camera.)
ELIZABETH: Wow!
THELMA: It's a bribe. So we won't tell.
(Dorothea walks outside, towel around her head, and sits in a lawn chair on the porch of Sandcastle, not noticing that Thelma is sitting at the edge of the porch. The radio is going in the background.) [book excerpt]
(RADIO: Sunday morning outside your... sunny skies, 75 degrees...)
THELMA: Hello, Dorothea?
DOROTHEA: Oh--uh-- It's you. Robert!
THELMA: I wanna say thank you for the camera. It's magic!
DOROTHEA: Great. I'm glad you like it.
ROBERT: Yes, babe? Well! If it isn't the little lady ten-next-birthday!
THELMA: You do look funny, all that soap on your face.
ROBERT: Well, that's the price you have to pay if young ladies come to visit gentlemen at this time in the morning.
THELMA: My daddy used an electric.
ROBERT: Well there you go, you see. Some of us have to use good old-fashioned soap and water. (Sits down next to Dorothea.)
ROBERT: Now you're here, do you want a Coke?
THELMA: I came to say thank you for the camera.
ROBERT: It's alright, you snap away, show your friends when you're back at school.
THELMA: It's a boarding school. I don't have any friends.
ROBERT: Oh I can't believe that.
THELMA: They don't like me at school.
ROBERT: Really? Why do you suppose that is?
THELMA: I guess I'm just too clever. They don't like clever people. (Holds camera up to her face.) Can I take your picture?
DOROTHEA (slamming her magazine down in alarm, then covering her face with it): No! Robert!
ROBERT (jumping up in alarm): No no no no! Not like this, with soap all over my face? What would the fans say?
THELMA: I didn't mean to upset you, Robert.
ROBERT: Of course not. We're friends, aren't we?
THELMA: I was hoping you'd show me how to use the camera.
ROBERT: It's got instructions. You read the instructions. What time is it? (Looks at his watch.) Hey, what am I doing hanging around? I've got to get down to the bank. Now you shoo shoo shoo Miss Thelma. And you, Miss Dotty. We've got to get into the fast lane! Now you have a nice day!
(Robert runs inside, Dorothea begins to go inside but Thelma has just sit down on the wooden lawn chair, so Dorothea stops to confront her.)
DOROTHEA: Why don't you go?
THELMA: I just came to say thank you.
DOROTHEA: Well you said it. Goodbye.
THELMA: I just wanted to take Robert's picture.
DOROTHEA: Robert's got enough pictures. Taken by me. So long, kid.
THELMA: Thelma!
DOROTHEA: Thelma.
THELMA: Bye, Robert!
ROBERT (from inside the house): Bye!
(Thelma slowly walks off their porch, swinging her pink camera idly.)
DOROTHEA (drying her hair with a towel): You see that brat? She's jealous!
ROBERT: Of us? Don't be ridiculous.
DOROTHEA: Why weren't you shaving in the bathroom?
ROBERT: Once a slob, always a slob. So. What do you want to do?
DOROTHEA: Move. Go someplace else.
ROBERT: There is no place else. We can't move on every time you get spooked. Hell, we could've chosen a worse place. The ocean, the beach. You, me. Nothing to do except waste our time nicely, until the systems have worked their way through. Come on. (Dorothea fidgets with her hair, unconvinced.) When they find out, then the bank will charge the insurance company. And the insurance company... I don't think they're so short of money that they're going to worry about me and you.
DOROTHEA: And your wife? (Looks at Robert.)
ROBERT: With the house? Life insurance? The car? You've got to be kidding! She's going to think that you got the bad end of the bargain!
DOROTHEA (smiles, begins to cheer up): If I were Thelma's age, I'd be jealous, too.
DOROTHEA: Make your bed for me. (Walks off.)
(The girls are walking in the water along the beach, carrying their shoes, towels slung over their shoulders, wearing hats, and Thelma is carrying her purse.)
ELIZABETH: My daddy told me to drag your toes. It scares away stingrays. My daddy wants to live here all the time. Like you do.
THELMA: We don't live here. We don't live anywhere.
ELIZABETH: You have to live somewhere.
THELMA: Why?
ELIZABETH: 'Cause you have to pay taxes.
THELMA: Only if you're stupid.
ELIZABETH: My daddy does.
THELMA: My daddy doesn't. He doesn't do anything.
(The girls are on a wooden pavilion at the beach, setting their things
down.)
[book excerpt]
[note]
ELIZABETH: If we went to the same school, you could have me as your best friend. (Pulls some snacks from a baggie and eats them.)
THELMA (drinking a lemonade): I guess so.
(Suddenly Thelma stops drinking and listens to something.)
ELIZABETH: What is it?
THELMA: Shh!
(Thelma goes to the edge of the pavilion to see where the voices are coming from, moving carefully so as not to be seen, then stands watching, hiding behind the wooden posts. The voices are coming from Robert and Dorothea, who are walking down to the beach together in the distance, chuckling and giggling.)
ELIZABETH (naively): Where are they going?
(Thelma rushes back to her belongings, snatches them up and runs off to follow the couple. Elizabeth follows.)
ELIZABETH: Maybe something's happening!
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Updated: December 22, 1998