When You're Obsessed
Medieval Paris...A depressed looking young woman in modern clothes is sitting on the steps outside Notre Dame. The square is bustling with Parisians going about their medieval business. Suddenly, a carriage goes by, destined for the Palace of Justice, trembling, she rises to her knees, only to see that the person inside is not who she is expected. Devastated, she sits back down. The Parisians, now knowing that she is waited for the disliked Judge Frollo, give her poisonous looks. Even more mopy, she glances despondently at the crowd around Clopin's puppet stand. Flocks of Clopin's modern admirers throng around him, exchanging jokes, gossip, and Clopin facts. She heaves a gusty sigh. She doesn't notice that from across the square, two people in black and purple clothing are approaching. The two notice her, speak amongst themselves a moment, then hurry over to her.
"Excuse me," the first one says in a British accent. She has an air of command about her. "Are you, by any chance, waiting for the Minister of Justice?"
The young woman looks up swiftly. "Why, yes, actually. My name is Maria... do you know where he might be?" The two darkly clothed women exchange smiles.
"I'm Belladonna," the first one says, "and this is Minevera. Yes, indeed, we know where you can find him."
"But you can't live by Claude alone," Minevera chimes in. "You need community. I bet you're jealous of all those CSGs, being so sisterlike."
"Well, yes, but nobody else likes him," she says despondently. Belladonna and Minevera shake their heads sadly. "I can see that you've been sadly misinformed," Belladonna says. "And we know exactly how you feel."
"Oh, come," Maria says, "be serious."
Seeing that Maria still doesn't believe them, Belladonna nods at Minevera, who draws a red flag out from her sleeves, looks up at the belltower, and waves it furiously. Suddenly, Paris is filled with the sound of the bells ringing out in a morse code sequence, spelling FROLLO.
Suddenly, a dark cloud covers the sun, and lightning briefly blinds the people in the square. When everybody's vision is recovered, standing in the square is a similarly clad group of over twenty people, most of them women. Belladonna turns back to Maria. "Honestly, we know exactly what you're going through. He is wonderful, isn't he."
(sings)
When you're obsessed
You're obsessed all the way
from your first "he's the best"
until comes Judgement Day.
(Minevera joins her)
BELL & MIN:
When you're obsessed,
you are more than a fan,
You've got sisters around
who all love that Judge man!
Two others step forward, with nametags reading "Mephista" and "Covielle".
MEPH & COV:
You're never alone,
although you're "misdirected"-
ALL FOUR:
When skeptics are expected, you're well protected!
Then you are blessed by our capital "J"
You are always possessed by our Claude crazy way
The entire group joins in
ALL: When you're obsessed
You stay
obsessed!
MINEVERA & MSFROLLO:
When you're obsessed,
When you hear TJ sing,
As that tall, slender man
what a flame it will bring!
FROLLOFREAK & VIXEN:
The 'freaks' are in gear
(Though Phoebus makes us sicken)
(Clopin'll steer clear)
With passion we are stricken
ALL: Our faith is bricken!
YES! We're obsessed
though Our Man goes to Hell!
So don't get in our way
So don't ring the wrong bell!
At this point all the FSMs and FSs are standing in a line, arms oustretched
YES! WE're obsessed
"Normal" types, step aside
We're obsessed to the ground,
And that fact we won't hide!
All FSs:
Claude's ways are so fine,
we do what we are bidden!
ANGUA & ADRIANA:
We follow his line
With loyalty we're ridden!
ALL:
And we aint kiddin'!
Maria stands triumphantly to join them
Yes! We're obsessed,
Oh, and isn't it sweet!
It may seem Sturm und Drang
But Our Man can't be beat!
No, Our Man
Cannot---!
Once be---!
BEAT---!
They end in a circle facing out into the square, purple-sleeved fists to the sky, and another bolt of lightning strikes the ground in the center of the circle. They break off into a cheer as the sound of hooves approaches, and none other than Frollo rides in on Snowball. The crowd, startled, has retreated into shops or behind Clopin's stand, intimidated by the wild display. The FSMs and FSs, now including Maria, all flock out of the square, with Frollo smirking in their midst.
On to the next number!
All materials copyright Covielle 1998. But feel free to spread them around a little. ;-)
