Heaven
by Jera
RECAP: Lucky and Liz spent the whole day on the river, and finally shared their first kiss watching sunset.....
By the time Lucky got Liz home, it was nearly midnight. He saw her in the door, and turned around starting for his house. After a few steps, he looked up at Liz's room, saw that the light was on. He hesitated for a second, and started to go up to the roof. Through the window, he could see that Liz was writing something in the journal that he had seen her writing in earlier that morning. He knocked softly on the window, Liz looked up and saw him, beamed, opened the window and let him in.
Liz: Hey, fancy seeing you here!
Lucky: I know.....I know.....I just wanted to say goodnight.
Liz: I think that makes it the fifth goodnight in the last half an hour? ( smiled)
Lucky: I told you I was going to make up for all the other times we..........
Liz had come up to him, and gently pulled his face toward her, kissed him with all her heart on the mouth. Lucky wasn't prepared for it, he fumbled to steady himself. Liz caught his arms and steadied him all the while with her eyes closed, feeling his cool lips from the night air with her own. Lucky put his hands on her face, and took everything that she was giving him. The first kiss they'd shared was already so much more than he had ever imagined what it would be like to kiss her. But this, this was even more moving than the one they'd shared in the sunset. He could feel her pouring her heart and soul into it. He could feel her promising him everything that she had, everything that she was. He could feel her telling him that she didn't want to say goodnight and end this day any more than he did. He had never been affected by anything like this. He wanted to do everything in his power to stop the world, and let them stay just as is. Forever. It was at that moment Lucky knew the truth. He was never going to be able leave her. He was hers, and she his. And that was the most natural thing in the world. They had been born and lived just to wait till they got to this moment. In each other's arms. Everything they had ever done before, separately or together, had just been for this. He felt dizzy. And he knew that she did too because she suddenly backed away and sat down on the chair in disbelief. They looked at each other for the longest time without saying anything. Both were in shock. Lucky finally picked up his courage and walked toward her, and kneeled by her chair.
Lucky: So this is what they were all talking about. I didn't understand it before.
Liz: Neither did I ......... Lucky, I can't believe this......I can't believe I can feel like this.........
Lucky: Well, better believe it honey. Because whatever you are feeling, I am feeling it too.
Liz: You think this is what everyone feels like when they are.......falling in love?
Lucky: I don't know......all I know is this didn't just happened now. Not all of a sudden. We have been falling in love with each other for a long time, haven't we?
Liz: Yes..... we have...... we have............. Lucky..... I have never been in love before...
Lucky: Neither have I..............
Liz: I guess we'd have to learn as we go together wouldn't we?
Lucky: Sounds perfect. I am glad we waited for each other.
Liz: Even though we seemed to have taken the long way?
Lucky: All the more special......Elizabeth, there is no one else more special to me than you. I want you to know that.
Liz: Lucky, so are you to me. I have never had anyone that I can just completely be myself with. I always had to hide myself in front of other people. You are the only person that lets me just be me.....whether it's good or bad.
Lucky: Elizabeth.....everything that makes you who you are is just fine with me. I don't need you to be perfect for me, you have never asked me to be perfect......I just want to be with you. I want to go through everything with you, I want to see us grow up together, mature together....god knows I have a lot of that to do....
Liz: I can think of no one else I would rather grow up with than you, Lucky. ( smiled)
Lucky: Good......( gently kissed her on the lips) So, are you going to tell me what you were writing in the journal just now?
Liz: Can't you guess?
Lucky: I am hoping it's about someone I know.
Liz: Actually, it's about this really cute and sweet guy who showed me paradise today.
Lucky: Ooohh, I like him already.
Liz: What a coincidence......I like him too.....I like him a lot......
Lucky: Does he get to read about what you write about him someday?
Liz: Maybe. Someday.
Lucky held Liz in his arms, hard and tight. He kissed her on the forehead, and stood up.
Lucky: I should get going now......it's late....
They walked over to the window hand in hand, Lucky climbed out of the window, they faced each other and saw their souls in each other. They smiled. Lucky turned to walk away. Liz called him back.
Liz: Lucky....
Lucky: Hmmm?
Liz: I'll miss you.
Lucky: Not as much as I am going to miss you.
They both smiled to each other once again, Lucky took Liz's hand in his, feeling her palm, finally let go, and left. Liz closed the window, walked back to her desk, opened her journal and leafed through it. She smiled at her hand writing. If Lucky only knew how much she wrote about him in this journal.
"Lucky and I went to the Bacchanalia on the spoon island tonight. We sneaked in, and no one ever saw us. We danced under the moon light. I was scared at first. I didn't know how it would feel to have someone's hand on me, holding me closely. It was easy with Lucky. He made me feel like I was born to dance, even with all the hesitant steps. Staying under the docks was not one of my life wishes, but Lucky's being here made it OK too. Lucky made everything seem not so bad. How does he do that?"
"We had fun last night making dinner together. I didn't know anyone other than me before that would sneak into any place looking like he owns the place even though he doesn't. We seemed to be sneaking into places a lot lately. I thought I had lost that kind of spirit in me. I guess I was wrong. Or is it because Lucky was there? I am never afraid of anything when he is there. Am I depending too much on him? It feels so good to have someone that's always there for me. Always understands me even when I don't understand myself. "
"Lucky brushed my hair away from my face today. We were painting his box car. It was such a small gesture. Why did it affect me so much? Was it the look in his eyes? Was it the gentleness of his touch? I know by now that I am not afraid of Lucky's hands, but when he brushed the hair away from my face today, I felt something strange. I don't understand what it is. I am not sure I want to."
"Our first fight? That sounded kind of stupid. But we disagreed on something, big time. The first time ever. I had hoped he would come after me. He was probably too angry with me. Is he still? But I don't regret telling him how I felt. Laura did help me. She did make me feel better. I do wish she can be my friend someday. I am not going to start lying to Lucky even if it will keep him from getting mad. He was the first person I can be completely honest with. I don't want to lose that. But would he be so mad at me that he never want to see me again? What would I do then? I wish there is something I can do to help him through all this pain he is suffering. He is hurting so much, and I just sat there and poured salt on his wound today. Laura was probably one of his best friends before all this happened.......I am gonna go see him tomorrow. I have to...."
"I can barely think right now. The song Lucky wrote for me is playing. I have been listening to it again and again since he left. No one has ever done anything like that for me before. It moved me so much that I am so scared right now. Lucky had always been sweet. But this....this seemed a little different. I wanted to kiss him when he was standing right there in front of me. I really wanted to. How would he react to that? I don't really want to think about that right now. I just want to listen to this song again and again. My own lullaby. And Lucky wrote it for me. I will never forget this day till the day I die."
"I can't believe he doesn't blame me for stabbing him! I could have killed him! I do thank god that I didn't. Am I selfish for thinking that if Lucky died, I would be so sad? I would miss him terribly. I must be getting better. I even thought that without Lucky in my life would be a worst fate than having been raped...... I supposed it would be good if I am getting better. I might never know who raped me now. I was so wrong about Mr. Murty. SO wrong. Looking at Lucky sleeping in my bed now, I am so thankful that I didn't do something irreversible. I am sorry Lucky. I am so sorry. "
Liz picked up her pen, and started writing.
"How did this all happen? How did I get so lucky? And I mean that in every sense of the word. I am in love. I thought I would never be in love. Not after that night in the park. Being in love means giving myself completely to someone eventually. How can I do that if I am scared every time someone touches me? But here I am, completely in love with Lucky. And it feels so great. It feels so great to love Lucky. It feels so great to be loved by Lucky. I know I will follow him to the end of the world on that Ski Bob today. No matter what's ahead of us, as long as Lucky is there I know I am going to all right. I didn't know what they meant before when they talked about an earth shattering kiss. I do now. I believe now that it is possible to know when you are going to love someone for the rest of your life no matter what. I didn't before. Before Lucky. I can feel it everytime he smiles at me. Everytime he winks at me. Everytime he holds my hands. Everytime he walks toward me. Everytime he kisses me. Everytime he hugs me. Everytime he is in the same room with me. Everytime he is not in the same room with me. Am I just too much of a romantic? Did I used to be like this? I can't even remember now.....all I can think of is Lucky. How silly is it to miss someone before he even leaves? But I guess I am entitled to be a little silly. I am in love. I am In Love."
Liz put the pen down, closed her journal, looked out the window, and sighed, with a smile.
TO BE CONTINUED...................
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