*One good thing about going to school in a poor-ass town like Portsmouth is being able to buy old stuff that was sold out long ago in other towns. Shops' inability to unload discontinued and our-of-print merchandise keeps stuff on the shelves until it sells (not bloody likely) or they go out of business (very bloody likely). For example, while rooting through some tab books at a music shop, I came across some dusty Armored Saint and Metal Church guitar tab books. "Holy sheepshit! No fucking way! Auuughh!", I screamed in the store, much to the chagrin of the owner. After going home and changing my pants and underwear, I savored my new purchases. I sure wasn't going to find that shit at home! The same thing happened with Hear 'n Aid. 

Isn't it great when a bunch of rockers get together to raise money for charity? "What's Going On" made tons of cash for the disaster victims, despite being ruined by the presence of Fred Durst. Everybody's good at something, be it picking up chicks, kicking ass, or pounding Wild Turkey. Fred Durst is really good at fucking up perfectly good things (see "Faith", the Mission Impossible theme song, the live version of "Outside", "Master of Puppets", Wes Borland, his relationship with non-rappers). Since Fred Durst was like 12 when Hear 'n Aid was recorded, it had no chance of being ruined by him, dog. Hear 'n Aid came together in 1985 after Ronnie James Dio was inspired by "We are the World" and Live Aid to do something good. It also happened to prove that anything pop can do, metal can do better. Who can rip off lightning fast sweep arpeggios, tear through shreddy modal scales, do some sick fretboard tapping, and execute every type of harmonic better, Yngwie Malmsteen or LaToya Jackson? 

The men of Hear 'n Aid

The purpose of Hear 'n Aid was to raise money for starving children in Africa. At that time, Ethiopia was going through a famine, prompting an overweight Sally Struthers to appear in TV commercials pleading for money that would go to starving children in one of the biggest ironies of the '80s. Sally may have actually exacerbated the situation by eating more precious food than Hear 'n Aid, even if she made more money. That's why metal is the best was to save a life.  A supergroup containing members of Blue Oyster Cult, Dio, Dokken, Giuffria, Iron Maiden, Journey, Judas Priest, King Kobra (?), Mötley Crüe, Night Ranger, Queensrÿche, Qüïet Rïöt, Röügh Cütt (?), Vänïllä Füdgë, W.Ä.S.P., and Y&T absolutely cannot fuck up. Hell, even Spinal Tap was in on the act. In a brilliant move, Adrian Smith and Dave Murray of Iron Maiden laid down the rhythm tracks, while soloists Craig Goldy, Eddie Ojeda, Vivian Campbell, Brad Gillis, Neal Schon, George Lynch, Carlos Cavazo, Yngwie Malmsteen, and Buck Dharma shredded their way to food for the emaciated. Ted Nugent was left out of the solo fun, which sucks. It is unclear who played bass on the album (possibly Jimmy Bain), which pretty much sums up the musical attitude of the '80s.

 What does "Stars" sound like? It is a super-rad example of '80s excess. Not only are there thirteen guitar solos, but they fuckin' start at 2:20 and go all the way to 5:08! Dio, Dave Meniketti, Rob Halford, Eric Bloom, Paul Shortino, Geoff Tate, and Don Dokken all do a really good job of sounding exactly like each other on lead vocals. Maybe it's because not all of them are used to singing a song in this key (I've got a shitty ear and I don't know how to play it. Therefore, I don't know what key it's in.) or maybe Dio was a throat nazi.  Nonetheless, "Stars" will kick your ass while laying the smack down on hunger.