PAST MESSAGES OF THE MONTHS

This feature has since been dropped however here are some of the old messages of the month.  Enjoy.

September 2001

Hey Check this out a new and improved format. Well sort of. Ok well this one isn't so much a message as it is a warning. Down here in Chelsea we just had council elections. And as such the people who were running sent out information on themselves. I'm sure you all know the drill. Anyway this one application scared the shit out of me and I thought I might share his form with you just for fun. BTW this is not a hoax this was a true application on the ballot form.

Scared yet???? Anyway thats it for this month so have a good one and come back next month for another message.

August 2001

READ MORE BOOKS

Ok here is a list of decent books and Authors I think are worth checking out:

In honour Of Lisa Who Got Her P's

Well if you've noticed we haven't updated for ages its cause when geocities changed to yahoos, something fucked up and they wouldn't let use use our old password anymore, so we can't get into our old page so we've decided to move to this new address and move our old page over here. So don't bother going to our old page cause it will never be updated again, just keep checking back here to see what we've changed.

July 1999

Heaven and Hell

A Poem By Jade

Heaven and Hell aren't far off places
They are here on Earth
In us.
In our hearts, in our minds,
We control our destiny
Our future is a blank page
And we hold the pen.

As many people have heard one of the hosts of this page is logging off for a while. But Lisa will be back sometime in the near future and will still be contributing to this page. But in the mean time I, Jade am hopefully going to be revamping this page. Anyway I couldn't decide whether to put this in the news page of message of the month however for lack of a message here it is. Have a great June everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok sorry I, Jade, has been getting very slack with this. My message is simple "WE MEDETARANIANS ARE BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH FANTASTIC VEGETABLES". Thanks to Alana aka Flamegirl for this donation, it's actually an SBS subscript (don't ask). Ok on a deeper not please check out Wing Makers, it's really worth it to stimulate your mind and also explore the unimaginable. That's it have a nice life see ya next month *s* ps I promise my account of offshore will be up soon, blame it on school my teachers have been working me to the bone *s*

1) The people who still think they're making good conversation in asking "How was New years?"
2) The people who are totally not in a conversation but chip in half way through with a cheerful "Whats this?"
3) The people who don't sit down on trains when there are cleary many seats to choose from.
4) The people who religiously push down the 'diet' and 'other' buttons down on the lids of McDonalds drinks.
5) The people who devote their lives to congregating outside of shopping complexes.
6) The people who pride themselves in not knowing what day of the week it is
7) The people who ruffle their chip packet during a suspenseful part of a movie.
8) The people who congest and stand motionless on escalators until they're due to get off, and not a moment earlier.
9) The people who answer the question "How ya goin?" with "How ya goin?"
10) The people who stick gum under tables, chairs etc and who pronounce the word 'nothing' as 'nothink'.

Febuary 1999

A Handy Tip

Ok if you learn only one thing in life make it this, "there is always a backdoor".

January 1999

10 Tips On Surviving New Years Eve

(as practiced by Jade And Lisa)

1. Go to the Falls Festival in Lorne!!! DO IT!!
2. Bring your older brother with you they come in very handy when you want to get rid off old ugly perverted men with receding hairlines who follow you from the mosh pit to your tent and wont fuck off untill they see your older brother or even a friends older brother will do.
3. Bring a blanket!!! I know that sounds stupid but you would not believe how many times someone asked me if they could have my blanket.
4. If you only drink to get really plastered then drink this combination and you will be out of it in like 5 seconds. Gin&Tonic, Southern Comfort with blue cordial, Wild Turkey and apple juice, and Jack Daniels and coke. Yes it tastes gross but it works.
5. Bring a camera there are lots of hot guys you wont want to forget about, plus photos of your drunk friends make good bribery material.
6. Dont bother bringing a towel, NOBODY actually has a shower.
7. There is no such thing as undercover cops.
8. If you are a homie do not go. You will not be welcome. Sorry.
9. Smuggle in as much alcohol as you can because it is fucking expensive to buy there. Use our foolproof method of gin disguised as ice blocks, Southern Comfort is untraceable in blue cordial and Wild Turkey looks like apple juice, put them in those pop top things and out the plastic back on and nobody will notice.
10. When they are checking your car go to a security guard with a broken arm he wont check very much.
11. Dont go with people you dont like very much cos after living with them for 4 days you will end up killing them, make sure you LIKE the people you go with!!!!!
12. Dont expect to get much/any sleep.
13. Do not be boring like the people who went to bed at like 5 past 12.
14. Do not insult Powderfinger in front of Lisa
15. It is not THAT much of a coincidence if you meet someone whos the same age as you/drives a gemini/has the same kind of dog as you/ looks like your brother/also likes Bob Dylan

Okay thats all for now!!!

10 Tips To Get You Through The Christmas Season

1) Don't scull alcohol, take your time
2) If you have a hang over keep drinking it will go away eventually
3) If you don't want to risk lung cancer smoke Honeyrose herbals found at all good stores, they are not dangerous but taste great
4) Be the first to get drunk it's a bummer when you figure out all your friends are drunk already cause you feel responsible for them
5) Don't listen to crap music
6) If relatives are involved they are always more interesting after a couple of shots of some hard liquor
7) Don't be dumb avoid cops at all risk!!!!!
8) Don't answer the door it will probably be some jehovous witness person and they are boring
9) don't drink on an empty stomach it's hell spewing bile
10) I'm full of shit and so is this list hey I had nothing else to write so just scrap advice 1-9 and have a fucking unreal time and we'll have a new message in the new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 1998

Hole Touring

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hole is definately playing at Metro, date 28th Jan, problem : over 18 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
THE METRO SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoever decided the concert will be over 18 SUCKS. People who go to concerts and drink alcohol SUCK because people who are under 18 have to suffer!!!!!!!!! All I can say is thank god they are playing the big day out.
I will take back all the mean stuff about the metro if they announce an all ages concert. Untill they do, they SUCK.
****UPDATE**** SHIT!! FUCK !!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!! HOLE MIGHT NOT BE PLAYING THE BIG DAY OUT!!!!!! oh god why must you mock me.
****************************************Update*********************************** ok good news happy campers, hole has been confirmed they are defiantely playing at the big day out. so fear not all you out there that were at one stage worried.

Ok so this month is the 17th birthday of one of the greatest person I know, oh and it's also Lisa's Birthday. Hehe sorry that was a bad joke, what can I say it's late. Anyway Lisey Have a great day on 21st of October, and stay away from the Tequila!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 1998

Poetry Time

crisp, yet inattentive ears still hear as blurry eyes can void a plagiarist at work fingers grasp a slippery insight of lustful thrust slower her you stroke long hair across a pillow only seen behind a lawn in a window she waits but not for you still take her and search the darkness with your hands as pictures flash in eyelids closed Inside her heart with wires near I laugh at you and your repose.

Faked Apollo Moon Landings

Well it's that time again, yep you guessed it time for a new message, and this one is serious. Now I know we've brought you circuses and dogs and satan but now it's..................CONSPIRACY time!!!!! And what's the biggest conspiracy of all time? You guessed it the Faked Apollo landings. Did Neil Armstrong really land on the moon? We say no he really landed in texas. Here's proof.

* Why do the photos have such a black background? The moon has no atmosphere right, so wouldn't the sky be all lit up with stars and stuff not black.

*If there was no gravity why could the astronauts only jump about 18 inches, I've seen baskballers jump higher than that on earth.

*Doesn't Neil Armstrong's "overwhelmed" quote seem a little contrived to you "one small step for man, one giant leap for man kind" I mean come on tell me he really came up with that.

Maybe this doesn't prove much but just think of what was going on around the landings. The Governemnt were under heaps of pressure for this landing to happen. The time before the landing they couldn't even get the damn rocket into space let alone land it on the moon. If the Moon landing had of failed many say it would have been the end of the space program. Now that sounds like a big risk to take. I know my little facts such but there are better facts on other pages so if you have time go to: One small step for.. or Dark side of the moon landings

Ok this message is up one or two days early, this is mainly because I felt bad cause we pretty much screwed you last month. Anyway this month I want to talk about dogs such as dobermans, and pit bulls, dogs taht society label "dangerous". I have a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, she's a beutiful dog, she just happens be one of the unfortunate dogs that people see and cross the street or scream. The thing taht pisses me off is we think it's there fault they are like this where as it is our fault as humans dogs like this exsist. Our ancestor cross breed different species of dog to try and breed the "ultimate killer dog" a dog that would kill on cue, that would be the best fighter, however society changed, we no longer needed these "killer dogs" instead we wanted them as pets. Therefore these dogs were expected to meracuously change over night, that killer instict we breed them for we no longer wanted. So what becomes of these kind animals that we so cruelly screwed over, now if they step one foot out of line we put them down, we punish them for doing what they were bred to do. We muzzle them just for being that breed, they could be the sweetest most caring dog in the world but if you mention there breed all of a sudden, people turn away in disgust, and order it to be muzzled. Now tell me is that fair? Well that's all for this month check again monthly to see what interesting things we think about

10 Ways You Can Tell If Your Neighbour Is A SATAN Worshiper

1. They come and go at odd hours, especially late at night and just before dawn.

2. They never attend church or celebrate religious holidays.

3. They often have no visible means of support, yet live well.

4. They carry strange bags and bundles, never revealing the contents.

5. They rarely laugh, or laugh under the wrong circumstances eg when a child is hit by a car

6. They are often openly interested in magic tricks or the occult

7. They may excite instinctual fear in children and animals.

8. They are not afraid of blood, in fact they seem attracted by it.

9. They collect weird things, such as animal skeletons or fingernail clippings.

10. They tend to dress warmly even in hot weather, as if they constantly feel chilled.

Marilyn Manson

Ok well I was surfing the net today which I hardly ever do anymore but anyway I was just looking and guess what I stumbled across, an anti marilyn manson webring, that's right a webring dedicated to all you manson haters, and I had to laugh I mean these people who dedicate a page fuck it a web ring to bagging something, how pitiful is that!!!!!!!!!! I just have to feel sorry for them I mean they are so small that they go around bagging people. Now I know I sound like a hypocrite I mean look at our fucking page it's full of critism but the truth is we're not serious, no one takes us seriously, I am full of shit this page is full of shit. So I'd like to thank those people who are in that webring, yes that's right I said thank I would like to thank them for showing us a point, this world is based on freedom of speech, we all have the right to our opinions, they have the right to spread hate around and we thank god have the right to ignore them. Now I don't like hanson everyone who has seen this page knows that but I wouldn't dedicate a page to bagging them a paragraph sure a link fine but a whole fucking page, I couldn't be bothered. If you have so much hate for that thing ignore it, but you saying how much you hate that thing only makes things worse! God that was deep, sorry won't happen again I promise I was just shocked at the fact there is a webring for manson haters, I mean what is the world coming to??????????

Boycott Circuses

February's message is to boycott Circuses, zoo's etc. We all have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves, whether they are babies, people who are mentally challenged or animals. Those of us who go to a zoo is unknowingly or knowingly supporting animal cruelty. We are saying it is ok to put animals in cages for our enjoyment. There is no cage in the world that is better than freedom, no matter what anyone tells you! We have banned people from hitting others there are rules to protect people from that however we sit by and watch people hurt animals everyday. Now I know that it is a huge problem and one we can never completely stop so I guess people think why bother but we should bother; if we can stop one animal from being put in a cage or one animal from being beaten into obeying then we should do it, so all of you who read this please help us stop animal cruelty, BOYCOTT CIRCUSES, ZOOS etc, we can make a difference. THANK YOU

Herbs For The Hedgerow

Ok, well I wanted to take a minute to talk about a really great new band, only recently formed HFH, they currently are working on an album called No Fixed Abode, Lisa and I have both heard them play and they have a really unique style, at the moment they are still really unknown but they are fast on the rise! Some of there songs are called "EVAD", "Chasing the dragon", "Go Fuck yourself", "WBB's Head on a stick", "little Kudo's Art Fiasco" I know weird huh but with a name like HFH what do you expect. Anyway I guarantee that they will be big (one day)