SUMMER 2000
PEARL HARBOR
Hoping to cash in on the current trend of "old war" movies, PH stars Bennie Affleck and, in the role of "Token-Black-Guy-to-Draw-a-Bigger-Audience" (well, it's true!), is Cuba Gooding, Jr. My biggest concern is that director Michael Bay specializes in Mindless Action Movies, not understated, intelligent dramas.
MEN OF HONOR
Apparently about a group of military rescue divers (ooh, how enthralling), this drama stars Bobby D (that's Robert DeNiro to you) as the commanding officer who learns tolerance and stuff thanks to his best recruit, Cuba Gooding, Jr. One of those "honor"-laden military flicks, it still remaions to be seen exactly how entertaining it will be.
ALMOST FAMOUS
Another coming-of-age movie, this one set in the 1970's. A teenage boy gets hired by rolling Stone magazine to follow around a hot band, and he likes it (you don't say!). I can't understand who the target audience is for this one - the baby boomers have become too cynical, and they are the featured generation. Looks destined to do tepid box office.
NURSE BETTY
Ahh, indies! An independant film starring Morgan Freeman, Rene Zellweger, Chris Rock and Greg Kinnear, the movie almost has to be better that the preview. One almost wonders if the folks making the preview are even employed by the company that made the movie - an amazing lack of anything interesting or coherent was shown. Oh, well.
LOST SOULS
I have officially given up on thgrillers like this - demonic possession. Movies like Stigmata and End of Days have taken all of the energy out of me. Winona Rider stars in this one.
GET CARTER
My only question is, when will someone stop Sylvester Stallone from starring in movies. His most successful role in the past decade was as a schmoe in Copland, where he didn't have to carry the whole film. Well, he's back to his starring role, this time as a hitman who vows revenge for his brother's death. Ohh, sounds so original!
15 MINUTES
Robert Deniro co-stars in a movie about a seril killer who, inspired by the notoriety that now comes with being bad, decides to record all his illegal activities on camera. Looks a bit too dis-jointed.
CHARLIE'S ANGELS
Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, and Drew Barrymore are the afore-mentioned angels. Bill Murray is Boswell, their liason. If the ramifications won't make you sick, imagine for a moment a mixture of The Matrix and the Charlie's Angels tv show. Either mind-crushingly awful, or fun.
THE SIXTH DAY
When will Arnold learn that his career reached a plateau a few years ago? He can't just go revisiting old Schwarzenegger genres and hope that everything will be hunky-dorey. In the near future, Ahh-nuld is the result of a secret cloning experiment. He must fight to save his idendity, if he knows it. Shades of Total Recall. Will probably end up doing End of Days-like box office.
UNBREAKABLE
An inrgiguing story. Bruce Willis and director M. Night Shamalayan (6th Sense) reteam in this subtle thriller. Willis is the sole survivor of a horrific train accident, escaping with not even a scratch. Miracle? Samuel Jackson appears to help answer that. Shades of the Daniels/Perez film Fearless.
AUTUMN IN NEW YORK
Richard Gere stars opposite (no, not Julia Roberts) Winona Ryder in this "chick flick". Gere is a rich, socialite womanizer (what a stretch) who falls for Ryder's character, a younger, independent woman who may have some terminal illness(?). One of those that are contrived from the start to be a tear-jerker, but the whole terminally ill person falling in love shortly before they die genre has been done to death - pun intended.
THE CONTENDER
Gary Oldman once again portrays his chameleon-like characteristics, this time as a balding congressman that opposes Joan Allen's appointment as vice president of the United States. Looks like a basic political-thriller-meets-lurid sex-scandal plot a la The General's Daughter, but if it has Oldman, it has me.
THE LEGEND OF BAGGER VANCE
Every now and then, a film looks so unwatchable, that I actually eagerly anticipate it if only to watch it tank. Will Smith is the title character in Depression-Era (?) America who teaches Matt Damon a thing or two about life and golf. Uhh, o.k., if you insist.
BLESS THE CHILD
Straight from her performance in a movie that nobody saw, Kim Basinger returns to the United States as she tries to track down a little girl (her daughter?) with paranormal powers after she's been abducted by the leader of a whacked-out religious cult. Rufus Sewell is the cult-leader. Jimmy "Bobby Simone" Smits is the police officer who aids the mother. It looks as though this will only be as good as the young actress picked to play the role of the abductee.
CASTAWAY
Tom Hanks is a FedEx worker who spends more time in cargo planes than at the side of his wife, Helen Hunt. One day, his plane crash-lands into the sea, and he washes up on an (uninhabited?) island. Definitely looks intriguing, but if the hit CBS show goes sour, it might receive some anti-Survivor backlash.
THE ART OF WAR
Remember a movie about 4 years ago starring Keenen Ivory Wayans as a decorated US hero being framed and chased down by the shady Jon Voight character? O.K., me neither. How about US Marshals, the Fugitive sequel, about the guy wrongly framed for a murder he didn't commit, and being chased by the good and bad guys. Or Enemy of the State where Will Smith has his life destroyed while running from the governemnt who wants him for something he didn't do. Enter this movie starring Wesley Snipes and Donald Sutherland. This idea has been done to death, but it still looks at least mildly entertaining. Discount matinee fare only.
BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS
Only a glimpse of a first person perspective of running through the woods set to a female chanting some witch-speak. Can you say "One Hit Wonder"?
WHAT LIES BENEATH
Picture a Fatal Attraction meets The Sixth Sense thriller. Yeah, I know. Harrison Ford stars as the perfect husband to Michelle Pfeiffer. Almost perfect, actually. You see, he had an affair with a woman just one time. Unfortunately that one woman killed herself once she realized that she could never have Harri, and apparently vowed revenge from beyond. Either hokey or creepy.
THE CELL
Oh yeah!! I would buy tickets to see this movie now if I could. Opening sometime in August, this ultra-cool looking flik is about entering the mind of a killer - literally - in order to save another would-be victim. The shots of surreal images and landscapes in the baddie's brain are why I see movies. With the much-anticapated Hannibal due shortly, this looks to be a wonderful sci-fi style primer. CELL, CELL, CELL, CELL!!! Can you tell that I'm excited about this movie?
HANNIBAL
So far, the only preview out there gives us a split-second look at the mug of Anthony, seeming to be from TSOTL. They appear to be keeping all of the good stuff for the movie. Still definitely on my to-see list.
COYOTE UGLY
The stupidest title for a stupid-looking T & A joint about a bar full of hotties like supermodels that tend bar at a popular hangout. Picture the Tommy Cruise flick Cocktail on crack-cocaine with babes. Alright, so I might see it, but I'll try not to enjoy it!
LOSER
Miss Mena from American Beauty co-stars with that guy from American Pie in this fish-out-of-water story (oh, how original) of two "losers" in the eyes of their classmates. Someone would actually have to ply me with that date-rape drug before I'd see this newest installment in the "how much can a movie about 'my generation' suck" competition.
BRING IT ON
We saw the preview for this at the Scary Movie showing. A theatre full of aware young people. In other words, the assumed target audience for this cheerleader competition movie about rival roaming gangs of girls, one group black, the other white. My faith in society was renewed when this dreck recieved cheers of derision. I'm gonna take a pass on this one.
GODZILLA 2000
The way it should be. Poorly dubbed Japanese folk giving their best reaction shots spliced together with a guy in a lizard suit smashing models of houses and cars. This installment sees the green dude fending off a giant space alien. The best part is that Mary Pitillo is nowhere to be seen.
THE GRINCH
Jim Carrey is the title role in this live-action Dr. Seuss classic. As weird as it sounds, he looks exactly like the hairy green guy. Really just a glimpse preview.
HIGHLANDER: ENDGAME
Christopher Lambert is back again as the immortal, sword-weilding Scotsman. While the movie doesn't look bad, per se, I think the series ran out of juice a couple of movies ago. I'll be interested to see if anyone will be excited about this one.
BEDAZZLED
Brendan Fraser is a down-on-his-luck schmoe who just met the devil, in the curvy form of Liz Hurley. Hilarity ensues as she grants him wishes so he can get the girl he loves. Looks kinda "cute", and funny. Oh, why not, I'll see it.
POKEMON THE MOVIE: 2000
Taking my little daughter to movies opens up new previews to me, including this dreck. Every day, I thank my lucky stars that I am too old for this trash, and that my girl is too young. Sub-par animation (better suited for tv) is the most obvious shortcoming of this garbage. Don't take your child to see this movie, please.
REMEMBER THE TITANS
Set somewhere in the late 1960's, early 1970's, this looks to be a very touching movie about a high school football coach (Denzel) who helps teach tolerance to his black and white players. It appears as though he becomes the head coach in the course of the movie. It appears to have a soft, nice feel to it. And since I am a sucker for football movies, anyway, I'll check this one out.
THE REPLACEMENTS
A piece of throwaway entertainment if I've ever seen one. This tells the story of a group of replacement football players who take over after the pros go on strike. Will probably play a lot like the Major League franchise. Keanu is the scab quarterback. Again, it's a football movie, so I'll be there.
THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can sit through this one because my daughter just might like it. Based on the uh, popular PBS (or is it Nickelodeon) show aimed at the very young, this movie stars Thomas the steam engine train, and co-stars Alec Baldwin, yes, that's right, Alec Baldwin as a "simple" conductor.
URBAN LEGENDS: THE FINAL CUT
Why did the original UL need a sequel? It wasn't that successful or good. As if it makes a difference, it's about a group of filmmakers who are making a well, film about urban legends. Starting to venture pathetically close to the Stab-in-Scream territory. I refuse to see this one on general principal.
WAY OF THE GUN
A Tarantino-lite looking movie about two would-be kidnappers who just kinda plod their way throught it all. Juliette Lewis and Benicio Del Torro star.
WHATEVER IT TAKES
Picture Cyrano deBergerac all crapped up by trying to make it topical to 20-somethings. I generally despise flicks made for "my generation". As a matter of fact, I can barely remember any single detail of this formulaic junk.
IMPOSTOR
Gary Sinise is a scientist in this futuristic sci-fi film. He may or may not be an alien/android, and even he isn't certain. Appears to work best as it plays on paranoid fears, a la Enemy of the State or Conspiracy Theory. I'll give it a try.
-CURRENT PREVIEWS-
January 2000 Previews
Early 2000 Previews
1999's Previews