Act IV Scene I

Land of the Lost

Tabitha :

Double Bubble Pud's in trouble

I have to shave my leg stubble

Filet of rat and ferret's toe

Into MacDonald's burgers go

And all this pond scum that I slake

We will call it Shamrock Shake

These are horrid horrid signs

We don't have any better lines

Girl, have you gone out of your crypt?

That is not written in the script

Do not look aghast and glib

I just thought that we could ad-lib

The whole damned play you're going to wreck

And all of us will get in heck

The writer, he will never know

He wrote this scene two weeks ago

When he goes to mail to friends

He never rereads the jokes he sends

It looks like I have got no choice

As long as he knows, my protest I voice

Now do not fret and do not fear

MacDavis get your ass out here

What the heck are you trying to do

I thought that I had missed my cue

Do not worry, I am not through

Now look into our pot of stew

MacDavis MacDavis MacDavis heed me

I would If I had ears for three

Ha Ha! What a funny thing I have said

though I suppose humor's lost on a severed head

You see! what bad jokes the bard has wrote.

I'll ad-lib as well, there's no need to gloat

MacDavis your wife's father is Ronald

He has gone to work a new job for MacDonald

Let me not take that last part sitting down

What kind of job could he do, that clown?

MacDavis you shall remain wealthy

Until kids eat what is unhealthy

Kids are not fools, they like what we've got

With all this haggis around, how could they not

In battle you shall not be beat

By one who is not made of meat

No one can lay a hand on you

If they have eaten chunky stew

Kids today, I tell ya they're nuts

But you MacDavis you have guts

And let me tell you my neighbourhood was tough

All right spirit that's quite enough

I'm sorry I must interject

Severed heads get no respect.

Witches thank you for what I have found

I hope Act five is better this time around

And will the endings you now switch?

No, after all I'm still a witch.

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