Act IV Scene III

Lady MacDonald

Lady MacDonald:

I never thought I'd hate the man that I wed

And I'd be lying with the Letterman here in my bed

What reason could I have not to marry MacPenn?

Reasons? Hell I could list my top ten

Lady MacDonald these children at your breast

I wonder how you manage to feed the rest

Feed them, I can do it with ease

what do you think I do with these?

Ow! I think my eye must be gone

thanks to that cone shaped bra you have on

Put down that book now and listen to me

My husband always talks of forming Patti

You think he's screwing MacDavis' wife?

I read all her mail, Not on your life!

And as for your book, I'm afraid I'm not able

to put "sex" back down on the coffee table

You're the first one to look at that book, I do think

I just needed a coaster to use for my drink

What are you thinking? my beautiful flower

Hey do you ever like to pee in the shower?

Honestly dear, there's no need to mock us

sometimes I think you're just trying to shock us

Really MacDave, you used to be cool

Now you're a f**king, f**ked up fool

So, f**k I think you're a f**ked up dork

And f**k stop bleeping out the word fork

That's it! this has gone on quite enough

I'm lighting a cigar, do you want a puff?

Mother, there are people breaking into our house!

Oh No! She's found me here that louse

Can I have your wallet? I see you have plenty

of cash, and you see I need only twenty

I would gladly give you half of it

but, gosh! you know, I have to split

But, because such a money grubber you be

I know there's a position for you at GE [exits]

Who are these men and why are they here?

Do you happen to have in your fridge any beer?

Don't worry m'am we were after your lover

Say is this you on this record cover?

Yes, do you like it? what do you say?

I'm afraid that it is sacrifice virgins day

[Slays Lady MacDonald]

Ollie, look at what you have done

The record said `like', didn't you notice the son?

I'm sorry young man, your mom I did slay

I know not how, I can you repay

I was so very fond of whatcha-ma-call-her

But I'll let it go for say fifty dollars

A bargain at that, I paid nearly times four

when I offed the old lady that lived right next door

You Guys are really dumb, did you know?

Do you want me to tell you where you can go?

As long as we're here, Oh what the hell

Some discipline will do the boy well

Wait don't hit him quite so hard

I think he's hidden my credit card

Oops! I wish that I had missed

MacDonald is going to be quite pissed

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