Act IV Scene V

Ride the Magic Bus

MacScotty :

I've got the pedal pushed to the floor

I'm afraid the engines can't take anymore

MacKeanu :
Just keep it above fifty five I implore

I don't think that I could stand an encore

MacDonald :
Look it's MacRoss over there! What a surprise

MacScotty, beam him up, if you can, Energize

MacRoss :
Not the crosstown bus! this is the pits!

But I do have news sports and obits

MacDonald :
You know the news that I want

How does my new restaurant?

MacRoss :
Suprisingly your cafe is doing well

Why kids like the food, I can't tell

In related news MacDavis' stock poorly fares

When the witches sold their White Castle shares

Patti MacDavis also prefers your new food

But she's bulimic and spits up all that she chewed

I don't know how in a commercial she'd fare

So as a spokesperson I chose Linda Blair

MacDonald :
She can test out the new food I've made for our troop

I can't wait to see the reaction to my MacPeaSoup

But enough about those phonies

I've money riding on the ponies

MacRoss :
Well in Sports, I must proclaim

Stranraer has lost another game

MacDonald :
I can understand why Stranraer lie so lowly

MacReid :
They could save a lot of goals by signing Hibs' goalie

MacDonald :
Well that's enough, let's hear no more

The obits are always such a bore

MacRoss :
Actually there's two that you should hear

But it's not your mother in law, I fear

You should know your wife and son

have had a sword right through them run

MacDonald :
Life! why would you make my son end his?

MacRoss :
We suspect the brothers Menendez.

MacDonald :
What crueller fate could make my heart flop?

MacCheese :
Hey! Ring the Bell! We've missed our stop!

MacDonald :
Oh how I can hear MacDavis scoff

Didn't anyone know where to get off?

But wait this is a stroke of luck

Here comes my own produce truck

MacTrucker:
My liege these vegetables for your restaurant

may not be exactly what you want

It was from Westfair they were gotten

Which explains why they are rotten

MacDonald :
Actually that's exactly what I'd heard

I notice some settling has also occurred

MacCheese :
These bad tomatoes may be the thing to save us

We have something to throw at MacDavis

MacDonald :
What better fate to befall that acting ham

then to pelt him with produce and a can of Spam

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